Rumor Central

Late June to August 2005

Welcome to DisneyLies Rumor Central! Here we answer questions from you, our readers, about the inner workings, hidden history, and secret, shady underbelly of the Disneyland Resort, the Walt Disney Company, Disney films, and Walt Disney himself. We absolutely, positively guarantee that the answers to your questions are based on something and contain actual content of indisputably substandard veracity.

Now, on with the questions...

Is there a secret password to get in FREE in any of the Disneyland Resorts? If there is one or two, what is it? (August 31, 2005)

There isn't a secret password, but there is a pass-phrase and it's changed monthly. July's was, "I'm a Yankee Doodle dandy." August's was, "Summer time and the living's easy." This month, in honor of Michael Eisner's upcoming retirement, it's "Ding dong the witch is dead."

Is it true that in Walt Disneys television apperances from his office, you can see his DDT14( Discharge papers) posted on the wall behind him Hanging upside down? Did he dislike the military that much? (August 26, 2005)

No, no, no, no, no! Walt Disney was a great supporter of the United States armed services and was very proud of his military service. What you see on the wall is a copy of the Ten Commandments hung upside down, apparently symbolizing the selling of Walt's soul to Satan.

Update: Further research reveals that it's not the Ten Commandments inverted on Walt's wall, but a recipe for pineapple upside-down cake. This still may mean something Satanic, but at this point we're not completely sure.

How much does an average guest spend on retail-junk, food, beer, drugs, eliciting prostitution.. etc, on a full days riot at disneyland? Please enlightenment us. (August 20, 2005)

Let's handle these items one at a time.

  1. Retail junk. According to official Disneyland spokespeople, the park does not sell "retail junk" so no money is spent on it. Thus the answer to your question is "approximately $100."
  2. Food. A table-service meal, a counter-service meal, and two bottles of water or soda in the park will run about $75 for an adult ($95 with an afternoon churro). Double this amount if you actually want to feel full.
  3. Beer. Beer isn't sold at Disneyland so guests have to bring their own. Average expenditure, $15.
  4. Drugs. Nobody uses illegal drugs at Disneyland -- that just wouldn't be right. However, parents with small children may spend upwards of $40/day on aspirin.
  5. Eliciting prostitution. Whether you mean "elicit" in the sense of using logic to find a truth or in the sense of attempting to provoke a reaction, no money is spent because these activities are free (if not particularly welcome or even tolerated). Note that prostitution is illegal on Disney property at this time (although Disney's proposed Chicken Little Ranch entertainment complex in Nevada may change this in late 2006).

Anyway have you herd about the b-ball cort in the matahorn and how disney had to classify the mattihorn as a gym? Is that true? Hope to get your answer soon. (July 22, 2005)

Not only that, but in 1984 Disney was able to get the Matterhorn certified as an official Olympic stadium (and enjoyed the resulting tax breaks very much we're sure!)

I was on the internet the other day and I went to a crazy website where they were criticizing the Walt Disney Company and they said that Disney paid one-million dollars to hire a satanic band whose vulgar and obscene music videos were banned from MTV and won't even be played on Playboy Channel, is this true? (July 20, 2005)

It's true! The Osmonds played regularly at Disneyland for a whole summer in the 1950s.

Please tell me the connection between Walt Disney and the Golden Spear. (July 19, 2005)

Easy! The golden spear was of interest to Hitler, who once met Jesse Owens, who had dinner with Muhammad Ali, who attended the Friar's Club roast of Howard Cosell, as did Kevin Bacon, who met Walt Disney as a child.

There are rumors that Disneyland will have a Halloween event this year. True? I hope so! (July 18, 2005)

Yes indeed, there will be Halloween festivities at the Disneyland Resort in 2005! Specifically, Disney California Adventure will be open for two hours from 10 to midnight every night for the last two weeks of October. Admission will be a separate ticket and at the normal price, but guests will receive a scary surprise! What's the big scare, you ask? The scare is that you'll have paid full price to visit Disney California Adventure for just two hours. The bright side to this is that two hours are more than enough to experience the entire park.

What did they end up doing special for Disneyland's actual anniversary today? (July 17, 2005)

Disneyland commemorated the day in a number of special ways, including:

  • Letting guests who arrived early stand in a long, long, long line inside of Disney California Adventure (surveys show that most guests didn't even notice that DCA was closed.)
  • Controlling crowds by assigning every guest their own square foot of the park and requiring them to stay in it for the entire day.
  • Humorously directing annual pass holders to the "big party across the street at Dennys."
  • Graciously allowing guests who had paid four figures to attend a special anniversary event to purchase Brobdignagian-priced limited-edition stuff.
  • Ending the night's fireworks spectacular by blowing up the Matterhorn.

Will Disneyland be giving out free cake and golden Mickey Mouse ears to everyone who visits the park tomorrow? (July 16, 2005)

No. In a cost saving measure, the park has merged the promotions and will be giving out free golden cake ears.

Is it true that Mike Eisner was booed at the Grand Opening of Disney's 50th anniversary celebration? I heard Disney took extra precaution and closed the park so that corporate could hand-pick the crowd for the media event -- Could even a hand picked crowd still hate Michael Eisner? What about Art Linkletter's comments about "Imagineering" becoming "Marketeering"? Is that old-school truthfulness, or Alzheimers? Could it possibly be time for Mike to take the money and run??? It's only a little over 130 million in personal wealth, but when you consider the average Disney employee's salary has gone up only 5 percent in the same time period, he's making out pretty good. That's a 1300 per cent raise each year from what he was recieving at Paramount...but, they say he saved Disney. What a paradox. (July 11, 2005)

Answering your questions in order:

  1. According to Disney spokespeople, Eisner was not booed. The crowd was saying, "Ooooo," because they were so impressed by his intense charismatic aura.
  2. Yes a hand-picked crowd could still hate Michael Eisner, even if it was hand-picked from among his friends.
  3. No, Art Linkletter doesn't hate Eisner (he doesn't even acknowledge his existence).
  4. Imagineering officially changed its name to Marketeering in 1998.
  5. You are apparently the last person in the world who doesn't know that Eisner is currently just hanging around to smile for cameras until retirement.

is it true that Walt Disney and Albert Einstein teamed up during the building of Disneyland and planted a bomb under Sleeping Beauties Castle that will blow up Disneyland on the 55th anniversary of Disneyland and also launching the castle to WDW and blow it up also? (July 1, 2005)

Not only untrue but completely insane. However, there are plans to blow up the Matterhorn for Disneyland's 50th anniversary celebration.

I sell jewelry in a mall I Cincinnati Ohio and one of my customers has said that the Disney Corp will be opening a new DisneyWorld in Dayton Ohio because that is where Walt Disney was born. I have no idea if this is true or if Walt Disney was even born in Dayton Ohio. (June 27, 2005)

Walt Disney was born in the United States, which includes Dayton, Ohio, so there may be something to your theory. We know that Disney is planning on building Disneyland clones in Shanghai, Sydney, and other foreign places. We have also heard rumors that a "seventh continent" park is being planned for Antarctica (with clones of the Matterhorn, Space Mountain, Blizzard Beach, and other snow-colored attractions, as well as unique experiences such as The Enchanted Penguin Room, Ice Pirates of the Artic Circle, and "it's a cold world"). But all we've heard about Dayton is the plan to buy the town center and gut it to make a gigantic landfill for the garbage from all the other parks. Sorry!

People that die at Disneyland/world are used to create new ghosts in the Haunted Mansion, true? (June 27, 2005)

That is not only untrue but disgusting! Under Cyntha Harris, guests who suffered irreparable brain damage were, however, hired into management.

Earlier rumors

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