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Liar's Mailbag 2004

Below you will find a few gems from the DisneyLies.com e-mail box, some of which have been edited at our whim.

December 16, 2004

I have something to add to the naughtiness section. Me and my girlfriend are season pass holders to Disneyland, so we run back and forth between parks getting frisky on different rides, like, everynight. It's kinda funny. One of the most memorable ones was when we were at the Haunted Mansion late one night. there were only a few other people on the ride, but because you never get to see the people in the cars in front of or in back of you, we thought we were safe. In the portrait room (the streching room) we were groping each other and making some noise. Some old guy smiled at my girlfriend and some little kid asked his Mom what we were doing. The cast member just laughed and didn't do anything. By time we were at the graveyard scene, we had managed to do pretty well for ourselves. It was hard to work our way around the bars to hold you in, but we managed to. Just before the end of the ride, we were both zipping up and stuff. As we exited, the cast member we had seen in the streching room met us and shook my hand. He said that he had always wanted to do that and gave us credit for manuvering around the safety bars. When we got back home the next week, he both got shirts that said "I Did It On The Haunted Mansion With Him/Her" and arrows pointing at eachother. It was so fun, and we still do it! Now that's a healty relationship!

November 27, 2004

um even though i was grown up to be a disney baby all the really good crap makes it even better if you get sued I'll still try to get to your site

November 26, 2004

It has come to my attention that inside Indiana Jones is a secret room. If looked carefully from the giant skull is a room, a place which cast members built in secret and hid from their supervisers and "made the magic in Disneyland" if you know what I mean. While in there, they would also dress up in colorful suits as the snake in the entry, five people as the skull, seven people for the bridge, one in each car to make the talking man speaker effect in the cars(to save even more money instead of using the money for special effects because the employees will work for cookies), and one person for each appearance of Indiana Jones, and so on. It has also come to my attention that two cast members did not even wait to get to the"secret room" to make magic. They were going at it like there was no tomarrow! One little boy threw his Michael Eisner hat at them and they were still going at it like rabbits! The employees were immediately shunned for the rest of the day until the "male" cast members were asking how good was his rabbitasious mate. When the supervisor found out he only winked at the rabbitasious couple and gave him a raise. Needless to say all the girl got was to be rabbitasious with every guy working at the attraction for the rest of her life.

November 22, 2004

Call out Gouranga be happy!!!
Gouranga Gouranga Gouranga ....
That which brings the highest happiness!!

November 19, 2004

Incredibles attractionAs you might have heard, Jay Rasulo gave a keynote yesterday morning at IAAPA in Orlando. I was there. Amid all of the hubbub given about Disneyland's 50th anniversary and that new commercial previewed, people forgot about the most exciting news! Two new additional attractions are coming to Disneyland for the 50th Finding Nemo attractionanniversary in 2005 -- an Incredibles attraction for Disneyland park and a Finding Nemo attraction for California Adventure!

Here are the pictures. The attractions have already been built and are ready to be installed by Imagineering in Glendale. I was honored to be able to ride both before the general public does. Although one broke down while I was in it, Imagineers assured me that I was in no danger. Apparently the attractions are extremely sophisticated and touchy due to their high-tech nature and they are still getting the kinks worked out.

November 1, 2004

Hello, I think you guys should build more rollercoasters.

Response: Agreed! We will begin installing a rollercoaster on our Website as soon as funds permit.

October 27, 2004

Subject: FEURIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HOW DRAE YOU INSULT DISNEY! I WILL TURN YOU IN TO DISNEY MYSELF! I HOPE YOU GET SUED AND PUT IN PRISON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DISNEY NEVER LIES.......

September 12, 2004

You are not allowed to have sex at Disneyland. You really shouldn't write about it.

August 30, 2004

I don't know the real purpose of your website, but in my persoanl opinion it is crap. Your comments on the rides and "rumors" are complete B.S. For example, you expect someone to read your site and believe that the Tower of Terror's drop is only 4 feet? You alos expect someone to believe that the special effects in the ride are done with legos and a light brite. Everything you say, has no credit and nothing to back it. In my opinion your website is crappy and is not even worth looking at.

July 10, 2004

Dear someone,

I would just like to tell you that you shouldn't be criticising other people when you are in the wrong. Everyone (accept you) knows that Shrek isn't a Disney production it's Dreamworks. Also no matter how many times you do criticise Disney films they will still be the most loved children's films EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yours faithfully Annoyed

And another from the same day and same e-mail address...

Dear someone,

I'm not trying to be horrible but would like to tell you that though you may be criticising other people you should really pay more attention to your own words. We all know that shrek was made my dreamworks and not disney and no matter what you say disney videos will always be the best childrens videos EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yours faithfully annoyed person

Obviously someone was upset about something. We're still trying to figure out what. But this does remind us to congradulate ourselves -- we have now received more than 100 e-mails telling us that Shrek is not a Disney film.

June 23, 2004

A friend of mine's father was one of the tour guides or whatever on the Sailing Ship Columbia. It was also interesting to note that the Rivers of America were actually drained several times in the early 60's to clean them (prior to the toxic waste and employees act in the late 60's which prohibited anyone from being forced to wear hip boots and wade through toxic sludge). During some of these hip-boot wading experiences, my friend's father (and you have to believe this is true -- as it is 100% true) was made aware of the leeches, yes leeches, which infested the waters of the Rivers of America.

I thought you might want to incorporate this REAL piece of trivia into your website... No one will believe it of course.

May 12, 2004

(This e-mail was edited to delete identifying details and make it friendly for a family audience)

1. [name deleted] (Miss Disneyland Abassador) was in fact a [indication of religious affiliation] ...but she did kiss great (Bragging here)

2. a Pig could if lucky with a care up-flip of it's nose cause a womans breast to pop out of a shirt/top...the resulting noise from snapping shutters was very distracting...

a former "DisneyLander" forget that 'cast member - wally world crap'

February 6, 2004

Hello, i found your page informative to say the least. now most of my friends don't belevie me but i swear it is true and you can hear it if you listen. As we all know in the late 80's to mid 90's ads were almost always subliminal. from pepsi cans stacked on top of each other spelling sex or coke with naked women in the shape of ice cubes on vending machines you could find it anywhere if you looked for it. and i did in Aladin. Popular words used in subliminal mesages are sex, die, kill becasue they stick even if we don't know it, ie. sex spelled in lion king, or the erections in little mermaid, but i bet you didn't hear the one about "Kill your parents" in aladin. bet you can't find it. ahh no worries i woun't make you look for it. LOL, if you go to the part of the movie where jasmin escapes the palace and is walking through the market place you can hear lots of conversations going on. Right around the time a guy in the market place yells at her, "fresh Fish" you can still hear other conversations. It's been a long time since i watch it so it is either just before during or just after this that faintly in the back ground you hear the phrase repeated 2 times " kill your parents" in an accent of the dialect they speak. if you have it on dvd 5.1 you might want to turn up the rear speakers and lower the volume of the front ones or unplug them if you can't adjust volumes per spkr.

if you'd like to reach me for more info on this. or if you find i am wrong i will be happy to prove myself right!

From the site's early days

You got the opening year for Tom Sawyer's Island wrong! Who does your research, trained goats?

Along these same lines, we've had several dozen e-mails telling us that Shrek is not a Disney film. We'll look into that and get back to you. Really.

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I didn't know ANY of this stuff! AMAZING!

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This site was mildly entertaining. I'm glad I got a chance to look at it before Disney's lawyers shut you down.

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Just a little note to let you know that your dad and I are disowning you.

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Your attempt at humor at the expense of Disneyland is degrading and insulting. You obviously have no respect for the magic of the park, and I think that your joke about the disposition of Walt Disney's body is so offensive that it should be considered pornography.

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Want to make your lover happy and fulfill her unspoken desire? You can buy Viagra online without a prescription! Just respond to this e-mail and we'll tell you how!


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