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Disneyland Resort

Disnespeak

During the time that Cynthia Harris reigned over the Disneyland Resort, the park's upper management began to promote a new vocabulary for cast members -- Disnespeak.

Disnespeak was intended as the official language of Disneyland Resort, at least so far as castmember interaction was concerned. It consists of new terms and a list of banned expressions which, when added to more traditional cast-member linguistic shorthand, would completely set Disneyland employees apart from others when off stage. It was also intended to, as a side effect, help people avoid thinking about management and management policies in an inconvenient way.

Disnespeak never really caught on and was officially obliterated on Matt Ouimet's day one.

We present here a few of the hundreds of Disnespeak terms.

bellyfeel: To completely understand the need for something without having to think about it. "Pooh bellyfeels honey."

Big Sister: Cynthia Harris.

blackwhite: The ability to go along with management's decisions no matter how wrongheaded they might seem on the face. A cast member well versed in blackwhite wouldn't just go along with an instruction but would know to the core of his being that (for example) guests don't care about closed rides and peeling paint.

churrorat: Churro ration or the number of churros sold. Also balloonrat, hatrat, turkey legrat, etc.

crimestop: The ability to instantly shut down your thought processes as soon as they run into dangerous territory. E.g., "I don't think that Walt would --"

crimethink: Thinking of doing anything that isn't in the best interest of park management. For example, considering putting a guest complaint down on paper is crimethink.

crimethinker: A soon-to-be-ex-castmember who crimethinks.

dayorder: A cast member's assignment for the day.

Disnesoc: Disney society. The community of Disney cast members.

Donaldspeak: Talking without thinking first.

doublebetter: Less expensive.

doubleplus: Better than good. "That PowerPoint presentation was doubleplus good!" Also used to describe certain cappuccinos.

doublethink: The ability to think two supposedly contradictory things at the same time. E.g., "I am more concerned with enjoying my job than with pleasing others" and "I am Cinderella."

enjoy: Work.

facecrime: Not smiling, particularly when hearing a company-wide announcement.

FicDep: Ministry of Truth fiction department. Often used when addressing guest complaints.

goodthinker: Someone who has mastered Disnespeak.

Hate Night: Grad Nite.

Inner Management. The highest levels of management.

joyduty: Protein-spill cleanup deatail.

Junior Anti-sex League: The Mickey Mouse Club. This term was not officially proposed by Harris, but was popular for a time with cast members.

laughing place: A large incinerator that was the destination of waste paper dropped into the pneumatic tube system in Disneyland's underground tunnels and in the Team Disney offices. Anything that should be immediately forgotten and never remembered is said to have been sent to the laughing place.

malreported: When a past Inner Management statement appears to have been incorrect and therefore must be being misremembered. For example, the statement that installing FASTPASS everywhere would enhance the guest experience was malreported.

Minilove: The Ministry of Love -- the legal department.

Minimag: The Ministry of Magic -- Inner Management.

Minisec: The Ministry of Security. Minisec is responsible not only for park security, but also for discovering Disnespeak violators. They are known to be toadies of Minilove.

Minitrue: The Ministry of Truth -- guest services.

Minivend: The Ministry of Vending, concerned with outdoor vending carts and lesser food establishments (e.g., restaurants).

Oldspeak: The way guests talk.

oldthink: Trying to do things they way they were done back in 1955. For an oldthinker, "new" means "better," "show" does not mean "Broadway show," and money is a means to an end instead of a goal.

oldthinkers: The "nine old men" and others who are not in touch with modern times.

Outer Management: Leads and other cast members who have a management position but are concerned with carrying out instructions, not making decisions.

ownlife: What you do when you are not at work. Also, anything unimportant.

prole: Cast members who are not part of management. Not to be taken seriously or to be fussed over if they don't show up for work very often because they are easily replaced.

prolefeed: Uplifting management reports.

resistance: Cast members who want things done "the old way." It is rumored that Minisec had cast members posing as resistance workers for purposes of floating resistancewise ideas (e.g., "why not open a new ride without closing an old one?") and reporting any cast member who is not immediately repulsed.

Room 101: Cynthia Harris' office in the Ministry of Magic.

sexcrime: Anything with the word "sex" in it, including sextuplets, sextants and, possibly, insects.

thoughtcrime: Crimethink thinking, punishable by termination with your permanent record sent to the laughing place.

un-: Used to create opposites from positive words so that there are no completely negative words. Examples include ungood, unsparkling, unoperating at peak efficiency and, a partial exception, untertaining.

unperson: A park guest. Unpeople are considered a commodity to be managed, tallied, and categorized for purposes of improving park statistics.

upsub: To get approval from management. Required for any action that involves thinking.

vaporized: Fired.

versificator: An automated device that creates uplifting press releases filled with multi-year plans for a glowing future. When these plans do not come to fruition, they are considered malreported and sent to the laughing place.

-wise: Suffix to turn any word into an adverb. Examples include guestwise thinking, a snackwise lunch break, losing your costume eBaywise.

A few sample Disnespeak sentences:

  • "A doubleplus doublebetter Poohwise attraction would be ungood? That's crimethink!"
  • "My dayorder is to double the unperson churrorat."
  • "Goodthinkers bellyfeel Inner Management's ideas happywise."
  • "You uncan unremember crimethinker Judy? Why unso? Everybody has a laughing place!"
  • "Unchat about time off whinewise. It's doubleplus ownlife."
  • "Did you unsmile when Minimag announced your joyduty assignment? There's doubleplus unroom for facecrime in Disnesoc!"
  • "Minisec wants to talk to you about an unblissful unperson who told Minitrue that you unhugged her with a mouse ear while in costume and unfixed her nose."
  • "You'd better upsub those oldthink Jungle Cruise jokes quickwise or you'll be vaporized."
  • "I'm doubleplus sick of enjoying Minivend chimichangawise. Oops! Donaldspeak!"

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