DisneyLies.com

Disneyland Resort

Services

The Disneyland Resort provides a number of services to guests.

Lockers

Disneyland provides short-term-use storage lockers for the convenience of guests carrying a lot of things they don't immediately need (jackets, purchases, grandparents), or who brought thing with them that are not allowed in the park (bicycles, clothing with non-Disney logos, food). Items can be stored in lockers free of charge, but when removing items from lockers there is a substantial fee. Lockers are emptied at night and their contents given to cast members' relatives.

Strollers

Guests can rent strollers for use during their stay at the park. Strollers are available in limited quantities, and guests who need them to carry excessive purchases are given priority.

Wheelchairs

Guests who have difficulty walking or who think that looking disabled will get them onto rides faster can rent a wheelchair for the duration of their stay. Wheelchair rental locations also have Electric Convenience Vehicles (ECVs) available for rent. ECVs are the Ferraris of the wheelchair world. Capable of speeds of up to five miles per hour, these banes of Disneyland's walkways are the park's number-one source of ankle bruises and dented toddlers. Due to the congestion they can cause, guests are no longer allowed to use ECVs in lieu of ride vehicles on the Matterhorn.

Services for Guests with Disabilities

Assistive listening devices are available to hearing impaired guests for many attractions, including The Walt Disney Story featuring "Great Moments with Mr. Lincoln," Disney Animation, and the Mad Tea Party, among others. Hearing impaired guests can also take advantage of reflective captioning in attractions such as the Main Street vehicles, entrance turnstiles, and the Indiana Jones Adventure.

Braille and written guides are available to guests who are hard of seeing or hard of reading, and benches are provided on Main Street for guests who were forced to come to the park by relatives but have no sense of fun.

Picnic Area

People who irresponsibly bring food and beverages with them to the park (not including baby food, but including breath mints) must either return them to their car, donate them to a homeless shelter, put them in a storage locker, or go to the picnic area outside Disneyland's front gate and eat every last crumb. The picnic area is shielded from the eyes of passersby by trees, so that those who are forced to eat there will not suffer undue embarrassment.

Baby Care Center

At the Baby Care Centers (sponsored by Nestlé Carnation Pure Chocolate Baby Formulas), guests with young children can find a variety of baby supplies and well-designed spaces for changing and other necessities. Breast-feeding mothers will find private rooms to feed their child, and a helpful staff prepared to speak at length on why the sponsor's product is far superior to "that dirty ol' breast."

"Baby swapping"

Parents with small children can experience attractions by "baby swapping." This is a special procedure in which parents take turns -- one parent experiences on the attraction while the other holds the child, and then when the first parents returns, the first parent takes the child and the second parent experiences the attraction. Parents who frequently use this procedure seem to really like it, and at the end of the day more than 99% of them still have the correct child.

Lost Children

Lost children are escorted to the lost children center, where they are supervised until their parents realize they're missing and come looking for them. The most frequent reasons for a child becoming separated from its parent are:

  • Wandered off during a parade
  • Lost in crowd
  • Ran after a costumed character when parent was distracted
  • Tossed in trash by older sibling
  • Abandoned for one embarrassing public display too many

For a time, the resort had a problem with older children (particularly those with annual passes) whose parents had allowed them to go off on their own in the park claiming that they were lost so that they could be taken to Lost Children and entertained. In response, Disney made two changes: First, only children under a certain age are taken to Lost Children, and second, Lost Children is now less like a circus and more like a Mexican prison.

Lost and Found

If you lost it, and they found it, and they didn't keep it, and it isn't worth much, you'll find it here (maybe).

Smoking

Smokers are welcome to partake of their deadly vice in the California Screamin' maintenance area or on a ten-by-ten island in the middle of the 20,000 Leagues lagoon.

Package Check Service

Guests who have made large purchases and are too cheap to rent a storage locker can have their packages held for them until the end of the day. Resort hotel guests can even have their packages delivered to their rooms. Premium Annual Passholders can have purchases delivered to them at any point in the resort at any given time.

Banking

ATMs are located throughout the resort. Disneyland's Bank of Main Street and California Adventure's Guest Relations Lobby offer foreign currency exchange, credit card loans, and basic pawn services.

Credit Cards

In addition to traveler's checks and cash, the Disneyland Resort happily accepts any kind of credit card that they can find a way to process.

Bag Searches

All bags, backpacks, and packages brought into the Disneyland Resort are thoroughly searched for your convenience.


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