One of Main Street's most celebrated, and most overlooked, features is its hand-painted windows. To the casual observer, the windows seem to be simple window dressing (if you'll pardon the pun) with made-up shop names. However, the names are in fact quite real. One of the Imagineers responsible for building Disneyland had a macabre sense of humor and used to collect newspaper clippings of the obituaries of people who perished in bizarre ways. Every name on a Main Street window is that of a real person, and the business name is a nod to how the person died.

For example:

  • "Milt Albright, Entrepreneur, No Job Too Big, No Job Too Small" -- Albright was a misguided genius. He died when an enormous "new and improved" silo he was trying to build fell over and crushed him.
  • "C. F. Allen, MD -- C. V. Patterson, MD" -- Charles Foster Allen, a medical doctor, was sewn into a bison hide and left to die by Charles Valentine Patterson, a mental deficient.
  • "Ken Anderson, Bait Co." -- Anderson had his leg bitten off by a shark on one occasion, his arm bitten off on another occasion, and was finally killed when someone accidentally pushed his wheel chair off a pier.
  • "Royal Care Co., We Keep Your Castle Shining, Chuck Boyajian, Prop." -- This story's just too sick to repeat on a Web site children might be reading.
  • "Orange Grove Property Mgt., ‘We Care For Your Property As If It Were Our Own,' Ron Dominguez, Owner" -- Read the Disneyland construction page and you'll be able to figure this one out for yourself.

This same bizarre Imagineer installed the telephones in Main Street's faux general store, on which can be heard a party-line conversation in which a woman desperately tries to get the fire department to come before her house burns down. He also came up with the "humorous" recording of a old fashioned dentist performing pre-anesthetic oral surgery, which can be heard coming from an upper window in one of Main Street's less-frequented corners. Truly, a sick individual.

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That's Not At Disneyland, Three!!!
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396 Pure, Unadulterated, Dyed-In-The-Wool, 100% Made-Up, Completely Fake Disneyland "Facts"
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