Massive Disneyland Attraction Database

Finally Asked Questions

How does the Database work?

It uses computers.

How accurate is the Database?

Amazingly accurate! Information is constantly updated by our Web spiders, cast-member insiders, and secret automated computer infiltration techniques.

Why isn't the information on an attraction the same every time I read its page?

Because it changes whenever the Database system detects new facts. Any time an official Disney site adjusts its description, a guest tweets about a wait time, or some random person edits Wikipedia, the Database incorporates that data into its dynamically generated attraction report. Even these FAQs are rewritten automatically!

How does the Automated Schedule Planner figure out exactly, precisely when I should visit an attraction?

With magic.

Why isn't there anything about Downtown Disney?

Because it's the Massive Disneyland Attraction Database.

What should I do if I discover a mistake?

That's the beauty of it -- you won't! This is the most accurate, up-to-date Disneyland Database in existence. If for some reason you would still like to write (to send us hate mail, for example), you can use the DisneyLies.com feedback form.

Why does the picture for an attraction seem to be messed up?

We have had a couple of problems with the image portion of the server. These will be fixed shortly.

How many visitors does this site get?

Plenty! For example, yesterday the Database was visited by precisely 332,390,354 unique individuals. Of today's 219,857, you are #16,996.

Is there really an elf in Hamm's computer?

My sources say no.

Is this whole thing a joke?

No. Well -- maybe.

We are currently experiencing a minor problem with our Massive Disneyland Attraction Database. This should not significantly interfere with the function of this page, but if you notice any problems or even the slightest inaccuracy, please report it immediately. Thank you for your understanding.