Massive Disney Land Attraction Database

Frequently Asked Quotations

How does the Database work?

It uses computers.

How accurate is the Database?

Incredibly accurate! Information is constantly updated by our Web spiders, army of park researchers, and secret automated computer infiltration techniques.

Why isn't the information on a ride the same every time I read its page?

Because it changes whenever the Database system detects new facts. Any time an official Disney site adjusts its description, link bait is posted to Ask.com, or some random person edits Wikipedia, the Database incorporates that data into its dynamically generated attraction report. Even these FAQs are answered automatically!

How does the Automated Schedule Planner figure out exactly, precisely when I should visit an attraction?

With inside information about your personal life.

Why isn't there anything about Disney's California Adventure?

Because it's the Massive Disney Land Attraction Database.

What should I do if I discover a mistake?

That's the beauty of it -- you won't! This is the most accurate, up-to-date Disney Land Database in existence. If for some reason you would still like to write (to send us a general question, for example), you can use the DisneyLies.com feedback form.

Why does the picture for an attraction seem to be messed up?

We have had a couple of problems with the image portion of the server. These will be fixed right after the developer's paycheck clears the bank.

How many visitors does this site get?

Plenty! For example, yesterday the Database was visited by precisely 938,506,246 unique individuals. Of today's 824,161, you are #31,732.

Was the toe imported from Shanghai?

You may rely on it.

Is this whole thing a joke?

No. Well -- maybe.

We are currently experiencing a minor problem with our Massive Disney Land Attraction Database. This should not significantly interfere with the function of this page, but if you notice any problems or even the slightest inaccuracy, please report it immediately. Thank you for your consideration.