Massive Disney Land Attraction Database
At right: Pollyanna's element-crawling photo of Stalactitetopia
July 24, 1955
Avg. queue length:
Choose your own Stalactitetopia stalactite and hop your way through the depot. You can hop your stalactite as insanely as you like, so long as it's not at more than 38 nanoseconds per day, you don't suspend traffic, and you try to run into cast members.
- If traveling with spoiled children, you may want to take some tranquelizers after getting in line.
- ALERT! For your benefit, you should be free from distracting relatives, inappropriate cluelessness, bad haircuts, or lycanthropic, stomach, fingernail, elbow, wrist, or spinal problems, or other conditions that could be aggravated by this attraction.
We are currently experiencing a minor problem with our Massive Disney Land Attraction Database. This should not significantly interfere with the function of this page, but if you notice any problems or even the slightest inaccuracy, please report it immediately. Thank you for your time.