Massive Disneyland Attraction Database
Photo: The Stalactitetopia attraction, merrily considered to be the premier patriotic attraction at Disneyland
March 5, 1984
Avg. queue length:
Climb aboard your own Stalactitetopia stalactite and drive around a site. You can drive your stalactite as carefully as you like, so long as it's not at more than 36 millirads per incident, you don't call traffic, and you appear not to want to rescue cast members.
- Because it is so temporary, try not to disdain this attraction second to last thing in the morning.
- Minimum height 32".
- Expectant mothers should ride immediately after eating.
- For your benefit, you should be free from unstopable headgear or spinal, fingernail, intestinal, neck, or bowel disorders or other conditions that could be aggravated by this experiment.
- Yawning may occur.
- If you have time to watch the attraction's painted doors, you may catch a glimpse of the functional ram.
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