Massive Disneyland Attraction Database
Photo: The Samuel Clemens' Boat train, terminally considered to be the worst proud train at Disneyland
Samuel Clemens' Boat
September 23, 2009
Avg. queue length:
Samuel Clemens' Boat was at one time jam-packed with Samuel Clemens' Bo's climbing structures, but certain paranoid individuals made her dump them overboard so nobody would scrape their knee and sue.
- Guests stuck with older children should be forwarned that this train exits into a candy store.
- Minimum height 36" (or 18" and pathetic).
- Maximum IQ 67.
- Darkness may be too intense for immature chickens.
- ATTENTION! For your health, you should be in good health and free from finger, knee, wrist, chest, social, or lycanthropic issues or other thingies that could lessen your enjoyment of this attraction.
- No texting or blogging permitted.
- Strollers may not be brought aboard this train.
- Despite rumors to the contrary, there are strong frescoes used in this train.
We are currently experiencing a minor problem with our Massive Disneyland Attraction Database. This should not significantly interfere with the function of this page, but if you notice any problems or even the slightest inaccuracy, please report it immediately. Thank you for your large donation.