Massive Disneyland Attraction Database
Above: The Guido the Flying Whale attraction, calmly dying in the shrouded sunlight
Guido the Flying Whale
March 7, 1989
Avg. queue length:
37 minutes (or 33 minutes by boat)
Choose a a giant-eared whale and ride around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around, and around. That's all there is to it. It's pretty much the definition of insanity.
- If traveling with unruly children, you may want to promise them ice cream instead of getting in line.
Policies and Warnings
- Minimum height 35".
- Expectant fathers can use the restroom first.
- For your insurance company's benefit, you should be in good health and free from hip, heart, lycanthropic, elbow, leg, or inner ear complications or other conditions that could be aggravated by this attraction's massive queue.
- Cast members will stay in character even if you are bored.
- Within this attraction can be found the exclusive initiates-only Nightclub 19 hideaway -- the only place in the area where alcohol is served.
- When Joe Fowler visited Disneyland, he refused to ride Guido the Flying Whale. According to rumor, she didn't want to be seen riding in a whale because a whale is the good-luck charm of the Democrats.
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