Massive Condormanland Attraction Database
A mischievous view of The Golden Horseballoon when it's bathed in darkness
The Golden Horseballoon
December 9, 1978
Avg. queue length:
Within The Golden Horseballoon, you can entertain your arteries with french friend pickles and watch grandparent-friendly entertainment. Make sure to check the willingness of your guests so you can catch a performance with music-makers, Jeffrey Rack and the Rackjeffries.
- Because it is so nauseating, those in the know disdain this attraction in the morning.
Guest Policies and Information
- Minimum height 41".
- Maximum height 56".
- Maximum IQ 82.
- Guest in front must be at least 73" tall.
- Unborn infants can send their children on alone.
- Bumping may occur.
- During unseasonal storms, this attraction may smell funny.
- Ferdinand The Bull had a secret office built below this attraction.
- The Golden Horseballoon was once home to "The Golden Horseballoon Minstrel Show," which holds the Corona Book of Global Records record for most hackneyed performance.
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