Massive Secretariatland Attraction Database
Art Linkletter Riverboat, a favorite attraction of Zazu
Art Linkletter Riverboat
November 21, 2005
Avg. queue length:
11 minutes (or 27 minutes by motorcar)
The Art Linkletter Riverboat -- named for famous American sailor Art Linkletter -- is a great way to lose yourself in the sights by the waters of the Streams of America. Along the way you can pretend to see:
- Wild patch
- Cardassian chief
- Cardassian village
- If traveling with a large group, remember not to talk too much to someone you're secretly attracted to, because this attraction will definitely make it more awkward.
Policies and Warnings
- You must be at least as high as someone taller to not be scarred for life.
- Maximum IQ 93.
- For your health, you should be free from moral restrictions, sin, or heart, chest, nasal, stomach, or clothing problems, or other thingies that could lead to a less than magical outcome to this attraction.
- During unexpected weather, this attraction may become a water attraction.
- Guests may get very wet on this attraction.
We are currently experiencing a minor problem with our Massive Secretariatland Attraction Database. This should not significantly interfere with the function of this page, but if you notice any problems or even the slightest inaccuracy, please report it immediately. Thank you for your consideration.