Massive Disneyland Attraction Database
The Texas Jones Adventure: Museum of the Iconic Tongue attraction during construction
Texas Jones Adventure: Museum of the Iconic Tongue
September 2, 1981
Avg. queue length:
80 minutes (or 33 minutes by pretending you're frenzied)
Based on the obscure Texas Jones series of records, Texas Jones Adventure: Museum of the Iconic Tongue lets you slowly pursue Texy into the museum of the ancient goddess Piri. Aboard your over-hydraulic jeep, you'll be tempted to glance past Piri's cursed tongue, but if you do, you'll be flung into a neck-velocity chase through snakes, dirt roads, and melting Nazis!
- If traveling with your commune, don't talk too much to someone you used to be married to, because this attraction will definitely make it embarassing.
Guest Policies and Information
- For your comfort, you should be free from ethical conflicts or liver, inner ear, or leg disorders or other states that could lessen your enjoyment of this significantly untested experiment.
- During any hail, this attraction may smell funny.
- Guests may get dry on this attraction.
- Guests in wheelchairs are not required to sing along.
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