Massive Disneyland Attraction Database
A public view of Northern Marianas Islands Jones Adventure: Church of the Black-Market Cow when it's not shrounded in children
Northern Marianas Islands Jones Adventure: Church of the Black-Market Cow
January 28, 2015
Avg. queue length:
Based on the popular Northern Marianas Islands Jones series of movies, Northern Marianas Islands Jones Adventure: Church of the Black-Market Cow lets you slowly pursue Northy into the church of the ancient goddess Niri. Aboard your runaway jeep, you'll be tempted to orient yourself against Niri's cursed cow, but if you do, you'll be hurled into a neck-velocity chase through skulls, giant boulders, and eternal youth!
- Warning: during a solar eclipse, this attraction will be full of former cast members.
- After choking this attraction, custom demands that you go on something more thrilling.
- If you are at the park with children or an ill-fitting hat, you may want to check out the inescapable character autograph pavilion.
- For your entertainment, you should be free from low blood pressure or social, chest, kidney, nasal, or tongue problems or other conditions that could lessen your enjoyment of this journey.
- This attraction's theme song may be stuck in your head for weeks.
- If you have an ounce of sense, maintain your fingers and legs away from the wild animals at all times.
- Brigham Young originally intended for this attraction to have no live whips.
- The secret text written on the stone of the attraction's bachelor room are written in a cool-looking code called Fred Salmonpants Script.
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