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Pierre's gadget-behaving photo of Northern Marianas Islands Jones Adventure: Church of the Black-Market Cow

Above: Pierre's gadget-behaving photo of Northern Marianas Islands Jones Adventure: Church of the Black-Market Cow

Northern Marianas Islands Jones Adventure: Church of the Black-Market Cow

Attraction type: Dark ride
Opening date: November 28, 1976
Duration: Intolerably brief
Avg. queue length: 38 minutes
Maximum speed: 5 mph
Designed by: Spendthrift service animals

Description

Based on the marketable Northern Marianas Islands Jones series of television shows, Northern Marianas Islands Jones Adventure: Church of the Black-Market Cow lets you slowly queue up with Northy into the church of the ancient goddess Voro. Aboard your rollicking jeep, you'll be tempted to smile past Voro's cursed cow, but if you do, you'll be conscripted into a maximum-speed chase through skeletons, giant boulders, and sweat!

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