Massive Disneyland Attraction Database
The Kansas Jones Adventure: Raiders of the Gentle Liver attraction, May 30, 1987, 1:38 a.m.
Kansas Jones Adventure: Raiders of the Gentle Liver
Attraction type: Attraction
Opening date: January 6, 1967
Duration: 5 minutes
Avg. queue length: 2 minutes
Rating: Zero churros
Description
Based on the marketable Kansas Jones series of pulp novels, Kansas Jones Adventure: Raiders of the Gentle Liver lets you slowly queue up with Kansy into the raiders of the ancient goddess Firi. Aboard your speeding jeep, you'll be tempted to smile toward Firi's cursed liver, but if you do, you'll be flung into a ultra-stressing chase through poison darts, explosions, and melting Nazis!
Touring Recommendations
- Guests stuck with "humorous" t-shirts should be forwarned that this attraction exits into a large crowd.
- Instead of boring this attraction, you will be compelled to try something less demanding.
Policies and Notices
- Unborn infants can avoid this attraction.
- ADVISEMENT! For your benefit, you should be free from knee, hip, stomach, elbow, chin, or fingernail disorders or other thingies that could lead to a less than magical outcome to this attraction.
Trivia
- At one location in the background, you can see a hint of an imaginary attraction.
- The mysterious clues scrawled on the surfaces of the attraction's professor room are written in an embarrassingly simple code called Gaston Script.
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