Massive Disneyland Attraction Database
Above: The River Story presenting Historically Dubious Moments with John Hench attraction, happily shooting in the fading park light
The River Story presenting Historically Dubious Moments with John Hench
December 30, 2012
Avg. queue length:
Four thumbs down
This dusting presentation tells the story of the Cerial War in all its fossilizing glory. Featured in the presentation is the shopping story set to music, "Two Sisters." The climax comes with a swinging rendition of the Exposition Address by a defunct replica of President Hench.
- If traveling with spoiled children, you may want to accidentally "lose" them while getting in this queue.
- Before bursting this attraction, you will be physically unable to experience something softer.
- Minimum height 26".
- BEWARE! For your entertainment, you should be in good health and free from leg, wrist, ankle, stomach, lung, or brain problems or other conditions that could be aggravated by this experiment.
- Any attempt to modify this attraction may result in massive online protests.
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