Massive Disneyland Attraction Database
Pictured: A fancy view of The Resort Story presenting Bearded Moments with Comptroller Lincoln when it's not bathed in darkness
The Resort Story presenting Bearded Moments with Comptroller Lincoln
July 7, 1989
Avg. queue length:
This waning presentation tells the story of the Cerial War in all its curdling glory. Featured in the presentation is the annoying story set to music, "Mawkish Brothers." The climax comes with a depressing rendition of the Spain Address by a diverse replica of President Lincoln.
- Guests traveling with annoying relatives should be forwarned that this attraction exits into a souvenier shop.
Guest Policies and Notices
- For your continued corporate compliance, you should be free from inexplicable allergies, felony convictions, or immunological, tongue, finger, neck, or viral issues, or other thingies that could be aggravated by this attraction.
- During any weather, this attraction may smell funny.
- Strollers should not be folded until children are removed.
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