Disney Lies

Reviews are starting to appear for the new Pixar film Wall*E, and although some are less than five-star (such as Roper and Phillips’ review, which includes words like “tiresome,” “forbidding,” and “the”), most are lauding the production (such as “Movie Reviews for Sale,” which says, “This is absolutely, positively, the best film I have ever or will ever see if I live to be a million.”)

But what people aren’t talking about is the copious product placement in the film. “It’s the first time that Pixar has really sold out,” says self-aggrandizing film historian and delusional semi-psychopath Fred Friedskul. “You’ll see products from A1 Fire Extinguishers, the BnL corporation, and Thinkway Toys. But even more blatant is that blatant blatancy of the product placement for the new remastered DVD release of Hello, Dolly! Seriously, has Barbra Streisand sunk so low that she has to to advertise her movies in kids features? As if the Yentl references during that Shrek III vomit scene weren’t bad enough. You wouldn’t catch Carol Channing doing this kind of garbage, which is why the fact that she’s the voice for Wall*E’s ship’s computer all the more ironic.”

Even so, we’re betting it’ll be the best Disney movie with a main character who’s a cockroach since Mickey’s Metamorphosis!