It’s taken us a couple of weeks, but we’ve finally tabulated your votes for the official DisneyLies Readers Disneyland Best and Worst of 2013! Thank you to all who participated — your magnificent prizes are in the mail!
And now, without further ado, the results!
Attraction
Best: Haunted Mansion. Always a crowd pleaser, the Haunted Mansion hit it out the park this year with the addition of appropriate smells in each scene.
Worst: The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh. Never a big hit with die-hard Disneyland fans, the Pooh attraction became even more disturbing this year with the addition of appropriate smells in each scene.
New Attraction
Best: Jingle Cruise. The fact is that any animal is funnier with a Santa hat on.
Worst: Royal Hall. Everyone is still bitter that this princess meet-and-greet, lovely as it is, replaced the park’s beloved Secret Restroom.
Former Attraction
Best: The Secret Restroom. We get tears in our eyes just thinking about it.
Worst: Wreck-It Ralph Wreckulator: This was removed as more and more of Tomorrowland’s arcade games were replaced with retail space, but few will miss it. Let’s face it, the thing cost $5 for a two-minute ride and did little more than dole out dizziness and minor injuries.
Coming Attraction
Best: Endor Rocket Cycles. Finally a good use for the Peoplemover track!
Worst: Ewok Logracers. Please, Disney, leave the Autopia as it is.
Refurbishment
Best: Indiana Jones Adventure. Everything sparkles, right down to a new coat of paint on the hidden Eeyore sign.
Worst: Disneyana. They rearranged everything so much that we can’t even find this place anymore.
Queue
Best: Royal Hall. It moves so slowly that you actually have time to get something done or become intimately acquainted with the people around you.
Worst: Line at City Hall to complain about the cancellation of Billy Hill and the Hillbillies. The line’s both enormous and depressing — a horrible, unmagical combination.
Meet and Greet
Best: Frozen. The animatronic Olaf on the roof is entertaining, particularly on warm days as he slowly shrinks into robotic nothingness.
Worst: Thor. His hammer is so heavy that kids can’t pick it up to have their picture taken.
Experience
Best: Arriving first thing in the morning when your family is perfectly prepared, well rested, and doesn’t need to go to the bathroom, and nobody is over-stimulated or sugar-supercharged yet..
Worst: Security. There’s nothing worse than sitting on a steel bench in a cold, empty room waiting for the security officer to chastise you for knocking Tigger over.
Entertainment
Best: Mine Train Through Nature’s Wonderland Limited Time Magic. Completely identical to the attraction we remember from our childhood, right down to the noses on the cacti. Absolutely incredible. How the heck did they do that?
Worst: Golden Horseshoe Review Limited Time Magic. Abridged, censored, and with none of the original performers. Sigh.
Guided Tour
Best: Walk in Walt’s Disneyland Footsteps. Finally a way to visit Walt Disney’s personal apartment above the Firehouse! And kids under 6 can jump on his bed!
Worst: Tinker Bell for a Day. You don’t know terror until you’ve walked all the way up the stairs inside the Matterhorn only to be attached to puny-looking wires and thrown down a cable to smash into a well-worn mattress on top of the castle.
Special Event
Best: Mickey’s Halloween Treat. This year’s distribution of nothing but full-size candy bars was a big hit.
Worst: Eisner Appreciation Day. At least the park wasn’t too crowded.
Restaurant
Best: Bengal Barbecue. Now with authentic Bengal flavor!
Worst: Club 33. Give us back the Court des Anges!
Food item
Best: Tiki Juice Bar Dole Whip. Because it’s a classic, that’s why.
Worst: Turkey-Churro Chimichanga. Nice try, but no.
Drink item
Best: Diet Coke from Coke Corner. Tastes the way a Diet Coke should.
Worst: Diet Coke from the Market House Starbucks. Everything about this is just wrong.
Churro Stand
Best: Near Main Street Station. Always fresh and friendly.
Worst: At the side of the road on Harbor Boulevard. Stale, tasteless, cold, possibly not even official.
Shop
Best: Main Street Magic Shop. How does he make that card hover in the air like that? Where did that coin come from? Is that Steve Martin?
Worst: The nearsighted guy with the hearing problem selling balloons. “No, the blue one. BLUE!”
Location
Best: Rainbow Ridge. Still tiny, but looking better than ever after refurbishment.
Worst: At the bottom of the dumpster behind Toontown. Ew.
Locker
Best: 32. Just the right height.
Worst: 34. Too much bending.
Guest
Best: The one who let your kid stand in front of her at the parade.
Worst: The one who keeps hitting you in the shins with a stroller.
Castmember
Best: Linda.
Worst: The other Linda.
Character
Best: Mad Hatter. In particular, that time he helped the lady by emergency-delivering her baby right in the middle of musical chairs, all without breaking character.
Worst: Abraham Lincoln. Always pompous; refuses to sign autographs.
Rumor
Best: Star Wars Land. A massive reworking of Tomorrowland, complete with a walk-in Millennium Falcon, cantina-bar restaurant, and Special Edition of Captain EO.
Worst: A significant portion of the park’s budget to be poured into retheming the Disneyland Railroad for the upcoming pseudo-Pixar film Trains.
That’s it! We’re already collecting votes for 2014, so be sure to send in yours!
