It was announced early today that, under terms of the purchase of Marvel by the Walt Disney Corporation, Marvel spokesperson and masked vigilante Spider-man would become a member of the Disney board of directors.
“He will not be a voting member, but will be present in an advisory capacity,” said a clone of late Marvel spokesperson Gwen Stacy. “And he will be ready to lend a hand if there is an attack by Mysterio, Captain Dreamworks, or any other masked villain.”
Peter Parker, a local freelance news photographer, commented, “Although Spider-man and I have never been seen together, I have photographed him many times and am pleased to hear that he will become a valuable part of the Disney team. Perhaps now they can get rid of that incredibly lame Spider-man imitator that hangs out at Universal and isn’t nearly as handsome or limber as I — I mean, Spider-man — is.”
Comic book fan reaction has been mixed. Said Larry Clark, manager of Realm of the Mega Comics and Collectibles Kingdom, “I’m reserving judgment. So many times in the past, there have been changes like this, but they never last. Spider-man gets a new costume, or new powers, or is married, or opens a chain of restaurants, and it seems like things are going to be cool and different, and then you get some stupid excuse for putting everything back like it was.”
In related news, Toon Town welcoms its new chief of law enforcement, Spider-ham.