Posts Tagged ‘protest’

Disneyland: Stop Using Dangerous Electron Streams in Space Mountain

Tuesday, June 17th, 2014

We at DisneyLies are very concerned about the following article which we reprint in its entirety without comment from what we’re claiming is the website.

Greetings, this is Vanessa Hotty, owner and writer at

Everyone from President Richard Nixon to leaders of countries that aren’t Russia to anyone who has won a Superbowl have visited Disneyland for its purportedly “family friendly” and “magical” atmosphere.

Unfortunately, not only these people have been duped, but billions of people all over the world have been, too.

I discovered that many attractions at Disneyland, such as Space Mountain, contain a technological element referred to as electron streams. These are used in all the Space Mountains at Disney parks in America and around the world.

The electron streams at Disneyland are the same as those used in atomic weapons, communist dictatorships’ printing presses, and the electric chairs in federal penitentiaries. They are not supposed to be touched by people. And are most certainly not “magical”.

Disneyland is using this technological abomination to power special effects and lighting which allows them to run Space Mountain faster and cheaper than if everything were moved manually and lit with candles, but without caring a whit about these dangers and alarming thingies:

  • Electron streams can be found in lightning, one of nature’s most dangerous phenomena.
  • The U.S. uses electron streams to perform public executions, even though the death penalty has been illegal in Europe for decades.
  • A mad scientist and enemy of awesome genius Nicola Tesla once used streams of electrons to kill a poor, innocent elephant.
  • Electron streams often lead to the formation of magnetic fields which are used in junk yards to pick up cars and take them to be smashed.
  • A big-rig truck that contained enormous numbers of electrons in both its structure and cargo once hit a school bus and killed or injured dozens of innocent children (and possibly nuns and puppies).

I implore you to join me and demand that Disneyland remove electron streams from their attractions. Disneyland doesn’t have to go back to the drawing board. They can use live actors instead of electron-tainted Lincolns and hydraulics, pneumatics, and good-old elbow grease to launch their mountains into space and keep their non-electrocuted elephant rides spinning.

Disneyland is the best theme park company in the world. If Disneyland changes Space Mountain, we are convinced this could push other ride operators across the globe to finally banish this hazardous elemental force once and for all time.

As people who pay nearly $100 just to get in the gate, we deserve real magic — not electric chairs.

World of Color Blogger Protests!

Monday, May 24th, 2010

Our close, personal, online semi-acquaintances over at Theme Park Adventure have gone public with a blog post in which they make exactly, precisely clear why they will not be attending the Disney press event for the opening of World of Color at Disney’s California Adventure. It is an impassioned, gut-wrenching, tale of intrigue, betrayal, and abandonment revolving around Disney’s miserly withholding of all but one ticket to this press event. To quote from an imaginary but thematically related blog post, “Bleh!”

After due consideration, we at have decided to join Theme Park Adventure in not going to the premier of this new entertainment, not just because we feel that Disney should have more important considerations that cost and capacity when planning these events, but also because they even went so far as to never send us an invitation in the first place. Some might ask why a site such as DisneyLies that prefers to stay completely off Disneyland’s radar (in order to maintain our journalistic “integrity”) would even want an invitation, but there’s a big difference between desiring not to be sued into oblivion and not wanting to accept cool free stuff! In fact, if Disney would spend more time sending us awesome things we don’t need but can brag about out sell on eBay, perhaps we wouldn’t have felt the need to publish such articles as our recent “Robert Iger, Secret Zombie?” and “The Ducks of Disneyland: Their Diseases, Mutations, and Homicidal Urges.”

And we’re not the only ones joining in this protest. DisneyLies contacted (though secret means known only to professional bloggers) other prominent online content developers and asked if they would be attending this premier if offered only a single ticket. The response was incredible, ranging from “You’re aware that I live in Florida, right?” to “Why are you even writing to me?” to “554 permanent problems with the remote server.” Truly the online community has spoken!

We received one particularly impassioned reply from Peter “the Pan” Poultry at the Attraction Watchdog in Mom’s Basement Report: “There was a time when Disney would invite media from all over the country to fly down to Disneyland at their expense to attend grand parties for events as minor as the unveiling of a new Main Street trash-can paint scheme. They’d provide catered meals to us and as many guests as we could cram in a hotel suite, showing us an awesome time in return for a few choice ‘unbiased’ words on our blog. But now that the cheapskates have take over at Disney — quoting excuses about ‘shareholder value’ and ‘the economy,’ whatever that is — you’re lucky to get so much as a free jacket or tote bag to go along with your invitation. And the press events are toned down to the point that they hardly even have open bars any more, and how are you supposed to report on this kind of thing when you are sober? And just one invitation is just stupid. I need two assistants just to manage my luggage and churros. I’ll bet that if someone at ABC News wanted more than one pass they’d get it. It’s like those guys have some kind of secret ‘in’ with Disney or something.”

Now, some of you will say that Disney has every right to manage its press events as it pleases, or point out that even though original estimates for World of Color’s capacity were estimated at 9,000, they turned out to be more like 6,000 with viewing spots that have perfect conditions numbering in the dozens and this means that ideally only a limited number of press should attend. But what about history? What about loyalty? Theme Park Adventure has been reporting on Disney for almost-16 years, and has been at it for 7 (14 in dog years). But that’s nothing compared to some of the people that Disney snubbed on this occasion.

Let’s look at the grassroots Disney fan who I’m sure we can all agree is most deserving of an invitation to this grand event. Helena VanDerMcVonO’Donalley has been President of the Northern Arizona Mickey Mouse Club Fan Club from its inception back in 1955. Since that time, she has delivered the venerable “NAMMC FaCluNe: The Northern Arizona Mickey Mouse Club Fan Club Newsletter,” in hand-typed form to everyone on her dwindling list of fan-club members almost without fail whenever time and health permits. But did she receive an invitation to the World of Color premier? No. Although Helena was unable to comment on the situation (do to a persistent vegetative coma that overtook her in 2003), she is certainly disappointed. And even if she had been invited, would Disney have insisted that she be content with a single pass? Couldn’t she bring her nurse? Or her husband’s remains? Or someone to push her hospital bed around for her? And what if she had wanted to attend with her sons, Mickey and Donald, or her daughters, Minnie, Pluto, and Goofy, two of whom are not on speaking terms with her for reasons the family says should be obvious but who might have wanted to finally end their silly feud and allow Helen’s final days to be lived in familial unity if World of Color premier tickets were in the offering? But no, Disney would rather leave Helen and those like her to their misery rather than make the DCA lake a little bigger to accommodate everyone that really deserves to be included at this historic event.

So, in closing, good for you, Theme Park Adventure for sticking to your guns and rejecting an invitation that is really nothing more than a backhandedly flattering, highly desirable insult. We at DisneyLies will proudly not attend the event with you.

(Unless we’re invited, of course.)

“small world” protest blocked

Saturday, April 12th, 2008

We have received reports that protesters from Save “small world” have been unable to carry out their planned protest along the route of the Olympic Torch. Says the group’s hypothetical leader Blaire Childe, “This other group of protesters kept getting in our way. They had all these signs about Tibet, and we kept trying to tell them that it’s not the Tibet scene that’s in danger, but the rain forest scene. It’s like they weren’t even listening.”

The group will move on to their second protest project, the recording of a new song titled “We are the small world,” which will feature various stars from the world of music singing about how this beloved attraction should be preserved. To date, they have not signed up any singers although, according to rumor, Michael Jackson keeps leaving messages that are never returned.

Presidents upgrade protested

Friday, April 11th, 2008

There has been much furor in recent days over the announcement that Walt Disney World’s Hall of Presidents will be closed for extensive maintenance and plussing. At first, it was rumored that the long refurbishment time for the attraction was due to the fact that all of the seats were being replaced (apparently guests are, on average, much larger to day than they were back when this attraction was first opened). However, rumors quickly began to spread that significant changes were being made to the attraction itself.

What changes? To make sure that we are not accidentally spreading substantiated rumors, we’ll let Managio Blunder — supposed Disney Director of Imagination Marketing — speak for himself: “The changes to the Hall of Presidents really aren’t anything to get excited about. We have been planning to plus the attraction for years, and when we noticed that a lot of materials were being created for Hong Kong Disneyland, we just decided to make an extra set that could be used to plus our attraction. So all we’re doing is adding Disney characters in a few key areas — Mickey advising George Washington, Stitch rooting around in Lincoln’s pants, that kind of thing — which our surveys show is what guests want. They want more characters. We’ll also be removing some of the less popular presidents and replacing them with leaders of other countries — such as France, Japan, and China — in the name of diversity. Oh, and we’re replacing that sappy opening speech with Disney Channel ads. Really, there’s no reason to get all worked up.”

Recently, the family of Disney Legend Blaine Gibson wrote to the Walt Disney Company, threatening mass suicide if the changes went through. Disney responded that they believed the changes were in keeping with the attraction’s original intent, “to delight guests with the great leaders of history.”

Because Warren G. Harding is one of the presidential figures scheduled for replacement, a group protesting the changes has gathered under the banner, “Stop the War on Harding.” They have set up a Web site, are gathering e-signatures, and promise to “keep bugging Disney until they get a clue.”

We’ll keep you posted as events develop!