Beginning in late June, guests of the Magic Kingdom in Walt Disney World will be able to visit “The Pirates League” in Adventureland and receive a pirate “makeover”. Says someone on the street pretending to be a Disney spokesperson, “It’s like Bibbidi Bobbidi Botique, but with less lace and more hooks, and the only hair they worry about is on your chest.”
Guests wishing to join the Pirates League enter the League’s secret headquarters in Adventureland, ask their parents to hand over some “bootie” (possibly in the form of a “credit c-arr-d”), and are assigned a pirate name (in the form of “Captain [first name] [animal],” “[adjective] [first name] [color],” or “Mr. [nonsense word that sounds like a sneeze].” Then, after taking a binding pirate oath by which they acknowledge that their new appearance will be ©Disney, then move into the “pirate’s den” for a complete “keel haul” (the pirate word for a makeover).
Three options are available:
- First Mate Package ($50): Bandana, earring, eye patch, fake teeth, striped shirt, facial scar, sword, choice of false limb, stuffed parrot
- Pirate Princess Package ($75): Just like the First Mate package, but more expensive because it’s for girls and has “princess” in the name.
- Captain Package ($150): Everything that’s in the First Mate package, plus a pirate outfit, a real talking parrot, and a curse from an actual piece of forbidden treasure.
- Pirate King Package ($750): Everything that’s in the Captain package, plus an upgraded sword, a “pirate coin” necklace, the right to “plunder” one car in the parking lot, and never see your parents again.