We intend to begin regularly posting again some time next week, but in the meantime we would like to share with you some tips from Amy Chua’s parenting manual, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother. According to Chua, the Chinese method of bringing children to Disneyland is superior to the American or “Western” method. She says that a “tiger mother” sets out rules for her children before a Disneyland visit and strictly adheres to those rules.
The rules Chua had for her daughters if they ever went to Disneyland included:
- They would attend Disneyland as a family. No friends may be brought along.
- They would visit Disneyland Resort for one day only. No sleepovers.
- Children would not get to choose what rides and attractions they experienced.
- If a show such as Jedi Training offered the opportunity for children to participate, her daughters could neither participate nor complain about not participating.
- If a child has a book of tickets, they had to all be E tickets (apparently Chua hasn’t been to Disneyland in a while).
- If a child played a video game at the Starcade or Innoventions, the only game she may play is Guitar Hero and she must keep playing until she played “Bark at the Moon” perfectly.
- If a child went on Buzz Lightyear or Midway Mania, she must achieve a high score. If she didn’t get a high score, her mother would buy the souvenir the child had begged for and donate it to the Salvation Army.
- When it came time to hold a place for Fantasmic! or World of Color, children were required to hold the place without getting up for water or even for bathroom breaks.
- If a child didn’t want to go on Tower of Terror, she would have no lunch, no dinner, no Christmas or Hanukkah presents, and no birthday parties for two, three, or four years.
- If a child does not meet the minimum height requirement for an attraction, it is because she is purposely working herself into dwarfism because she is secretly afraid.
- If a child doesn’t have a magical time, it is because she is lazy, cowardly, self-indulgent and pathetic.