Warning: Today’s post is about a game that is not appropriate for children, isn’t right for families or the easily offended, and is definitely not safe for work. Do you fit into one of these categories? Yes? Then run away!
If you are one of today’s hip young people, then you may be familiar with Cards Against Humanity
Cards Against Humanity is played with two kinds of cards — black and white. A player has a hand full of white cards that contain short phrases and tries to match them to black cards that contain sentences with one or more words missing. The Disney Expansion Pack of Cards Against Humanity contains 100 cards — 20 black and 80 white. For those of you who are curious about their contents but don’t want to purchase the expansion, we have reproduced its content here.
Black Cards
- My favorite Disneyland attraction is the Hall of __________.
- Rumor has it there’s __________ inside the Matterhorn.
- Make Mine __________!
- For your safety, remain seated with your seat belts fastened, keeping __________ inside the bobsled.
- Captain EO? More like Captain __________.
- __________ is a half-day attraction at best.
- Is this haunted room actually __________?
- Yo ho, yo ho, __________ for me!
- Do you want to build __________?
- Which would you choose: __________ or being stuck for an hour on __________?
- What they need is an attraction based on __________.
- How typical. __________ exits into __________.
- They say “guest,” but what they mean is __________.
- The Handsome Prince saved Snow White from death with __________.
- The Three Cabilleros: Donald Duck, __________, and __________.
- __________ is a wish your heart makes.
- __________ is closed for refurbishment.
- We spent all afternoon at __________’s lair on __________ Island.
- We have 999 happy haunts, but there’s room for __________
- Since when is __________ a Disney princess?
White Cards
- Bambi’s mom
- The frozen head of Walt Disney
- Getting lost in a maze of utilidoors
- Endlessly singing “Let It Go”
- The tiki tiki tiki tiki tiki room
- The ghost of the old lady that died in the Haunted Mansion
- The happiest place on earth
- Disney dollars
- An enormous collection of theme park napkins
- Hundreds of “it’s a small world” dolls
- A churro
- Renting a wheelchair you don’t need
- A Disneyland character with its head off
- Grim grinning ghosts
- Gaston’s decorating
- The original budget for California Adventure
- Animatronic Abraham Lincoln
- Walt Disney’s apartment
- A magical day
- Tinker Bell
- Massive post-fireworks crowds
- An abominable snowman named Harold
- Your hands, arms, feet, and legs
- A secret basketball court
- Soap suds pretending to be snow
- A novelty hat that you’re going to wear once and then stuff in a closet
- Cruella de Ville’s tailor
- Stroller parking
- An emergency bathroom break
- Imagineering
- Fantasyland
- Another damned hidden Mickey
- The Dumbo queue
- Fireworks
- A child screaming its head off from overstimulation
- A thematically related gift shop
- Monorail Blue
- A maniac in a motorized wheelchair
- The Mine Train Through Nature’s Wonderland
- Watching through a window as people make candy
- Collectable pins
- A Photopass photographer
- Oswald the Lucky Rabbit
- Corporate sponsorship
- A protein spill
- Flash photography
- Singing pirates
- Buzz Lightyear Astro Blasters
- The Mexico pavilion
- Overpriced crap
- Making movies based on stories that are in the public domain
- Aging Mouseketeers
- Fanatical copyright lawyers
- An unexpected soft opening
- A commemorative window
- A coonskin cap
- Cartoons with racist subject matter
- The Love Bug
- Dinner at Club 33
- The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh
- Mr. Incredible
- The Primeval World Diorama
- A drawer full of old ticket books
- Main Street, U.S.A.
- The back side of water
- Slue Foot Sue’s Golden Horseshoe Review
- Splash Mountain
- Four fingers
- An Experimental Prototype Community of Tomorrow
- Overpriced tickets
- Michael Eisner
- An expired FASTPASS
- Spontaneously breaking into song
- Whatever happened to Huey, Dewy, and Louie’s parents
- Standing in line until your feet bleed
- Peeing in the Knotts Berry Farm parking lot
- Mickey Mouse
- Pleasure Island
- Indiana Jones’ gigantic ball
- The wildest ride in the wilderness
By combining the cards, you can make some funny sentences. During playtesting, we came across a few we particularly enjoyed:
- We have 999 happy haunts, but there’s room for the original budget for California Adventure.
- Since when is the frozen head of Walt Disney a Disney princess?
- Yo ho, yo ho, endlessly singing “Let It Go” for me!
- Which would you choose: whatever happened to Huey, Dewy, and Louie’s parents or being stuck for an hour on Bambi’s mom?
- They say “guest,” but what they mean is Disney dollars.
Even more combinations are possible when you mix the cards with those from the original game (which you need to own before purchasing the expansion). Here are the few we found that were inoffensive enough to publish:
- I got 99 problems but a novelty hat that you’re going to wear once and then stuff in a closet ain’t one.
- What ended my last relationship? Collectable pins
- TSA guidelines now prohibit singing pirates on airplanes.
- Hundreds of “it’s a small world” dolls. That’s how I want to die.
- Overpriced crap is a slippery slope that leads to the Mexico pavilion.
- Why am I so sticky? Soap suds pretending to be snow
- A thematically related gift shop. It’s a trap!
- Coming to Broadway this season, an abominable snowman named Harold: The Musical.
- This is the way the world ends \ This is the way the world ends \ Not with a bang but with an expired FASTPASS.
- A maniac in a motorized wheelchair + a child screaming its head off from overstimulation = the wildest ride in the wilderness.
