During a recent covert nighttime sneak around Disney studios, we discovered the master character database computer on which is detailed in great detail the details of every Disney character since the beginning of time. Each character’s file is crammed full of facts, which the computer uses to generate a mathematical representation of the character that can be used when evaluating proposed new projects. While playing around with these models, we discovered that they obey all the standard mathematical rules. For example, Sleeping Beauty (from the film of the same name) minus Beauty (from the first half of the name of the film with her name) equals Sleepy (from the seven dwarfs) — or, in math terms, “Sleeping Beauty – Beauty = Sleepy,” just as you might expect.
Some additional mathematical investigation revealed the following equations, some of which are quite revealing.
- Thumper + Mad Hatter = Roger Rabbit
- Br’er Rabbit – Uncle Remus = Rabbit
- Donald Duck x (Minnie Mouse / Mickey Mouse) = Daisy Duck
- Buzz Lightyear – Tron = Pleakley
- Maleficent – Headless Horseman = Madame Leota
- Timon – Flower = Piglet
- Prince of Persia + Lt. Robin Crusoe, U.S.N. = John Carter
- Baloo + Stinky Pete the Prospector = Lots-O’-Huggin’ Bear
- (The Queen of Hearts – Lady) x Baby Herman = The King of Hearts
- Flynn Rider – Rapunzel + Jasmine = Aladdin
- Daniel Boone + Meeko = Davy Crockett
- Herbie + The Caterpillar = Fillmore
- Bullseye + Goofy = Horace Horsecollar
- The Reluctant Dragon + Heffalump = Figment
- (Tweedledum + Tweedledee) x Flik = Tuck and Roll
- (King Triton / Tarzan) x (Cinderella + Prince Charming) = The Little Mermaid
- Cheshire Cat x (King Louie – Terk) = Thomas O’Malley
- Yen Sid x Ichabod Crane = Merlin
- Andy Davis x the Big Bad Wolf = Sid Phillips
- Monstro + Alameda Slim = Willie the Operatic Whale
- (Huey + Dewey + Louie) x Tinker Bell = Flora + Fauna + Merryweather
- Carl Fredricksen + (the Seven Dwarfs x Tinker Bell) = Darby O’Gill
- Shere Khan + Psycho the Weasel = Tigger
- Kaa + Prince John = Sir Hiss
- Captain Jack Sparrow + Ursula = Davy Jones
- Lightning McQueen – Mr. Incredible = Benny the Cab
- Geppetto + Grandmother Willow = Pinocchio
- Aladar + Boo = Rex the Dinosaur
- Peter Pan + Grumpy = Carl Fredricksen
- WALL-E – Squeeze Toy Alien = Maximilian
- Lumière x Wall-E = Luxo Jr.
- Donald Duck x Cogsworth = Gyro Gearloose
- Beast + Eeyore = Big Al
- Jungle Cruise Skipper + the Blue Fairy = Genie
- Tour Guide Barbie – Snow White = Jessica Rabbit
- Mickey Mouse – The Happiest Millionaire = Oswald the Lucky Rabbit
- Queen Clarisse Renaldi + Fairy Godmother = Mary Poppins
- Hercules x (Dory – Cleo) = Kronk
- (Cobra Bubbles – Hercules) x (Abominable Snowman – Dopey) = Frozone
- Tantor x Magic Carpet = Dumbo
- Oogie Boogie x Edna Mode = Roz
- Captain Nemo + the Crocodile = Captain Hook
- Willie the Giant + Stitch = Chernabog
- Christopher Robin + Hades = Little Hans
- Robin Hood x (Jessie – Alice) = Woodie
- (Am + Si) x Flounder = Flotsam + Jetsam
- The Apple Dumpling Gang x (the One and Only, Genuine, Original Family Band – Swiss Family Robinson) = Newsies
- Kim Possible – Inspector Gadget = Hannah Montana
- Chip and Dale + Inspector Gadget = G-Force
- Yzma + (101 Dalmations x Old Yeller) = Cruella de Vil
- (Kanga + Roo) / Rabbit = (Mrs. Potts + Chip) / Lumière
- The Rocketeer – Shang = Condorman
- Mufasa x (Nemo / Marlin) = Simba
- Mufasa + Zeus = Aslan
- Tarzan – Hercules = Mowgli
- Scrooge McDuck – The Million Dollar Duck = Donald Duck
- Pacha x (Hopper / Jiminy Cricket) + Inspector Gadget = Syndrome
- Gopher x Syndrome = The Underminer
- (Elliott the Dragon – Jiminy Cricket) x Scar + Violet Parr = Randall Boggs
- Abu + Esmeralda of Main Street = Rafiki
- Flounder x Judge Doom = Bruce
- Beverly Hills Chihuahua + The Rocketeer + Gyro Gearloose = Bolt
- Snow White’s Prince + (Zorro – José Carioca) = Prince Philip
- Zazu x Jafar = Iago
- Andy’s Mom + the Absent-Minded Professor = Elastigirl
- (Basil of Baker Street – Bernard) + The Swedish Chef = Remy
- Bambi + Bambi’s Mom + Gaston = Bambi + Gaston
If you are well versed in Disney character math and would like to add some of your own equations in the comments, please feel free to do so. If you think you have spotted an inaccuracy in this list, you are wrong. It has been verified by math.
