Posts Tagged ‘Lady GaGa’

Muppets Most Wanted

Sunday, March 30th, 2014

The entire DisneyLies.com staff went out to see Muppets Most Wanted tonight. It is, of course, an awesome film, but a few points really stood out for us as favorites, namely:

  • The pre-movie trailer for the Muppets’ return to films based on literature, Muppet Wuthering Heights. (The scene with Miss Piggy knocking on the window was hilarious.)
  • The pre-movie short, “Monster House,” in which Monster University’s Oozma Kappa fraternity strikes back at Dean Wormer, the Deltas, and their other enemies by converting Mike Wazowski’s car into the “Deathmobile” and using it to massively disrupt the homecoming parade.
  • The cameo by Skrillex as the Muppets’ new musical director (and the resulting “Muppet Show Themearang”).
  • Sam the Eagle’s dream about being Captain America (with Gonzo as Black Widow and one Gonzo’s chickens as Falcon).
  • Miss Piggy’s show-stopping “P.I.G.” (based on Lady Gaga’s “G.U.Y.”).
  • Clever cameos by various celebrities, including Prince as a prince, The Rock as a rock, and Lady Gaga as a baby.
  • The hilarious, slapstick cameo by a pantsless Vladimir Putin.
  • The incredibly subtle cameo by a Subway sandwich.
  • The adorable post-credits sequence where Animal finds a tiara discarded from the crown jewels and puts it on, declaring himself “PRINCESS!”

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Drawn This Way

Sunday, March 6th, 2011

There was an awesome dance party at Disneyland tonight after all the cheerleader competitions, and everyone’s favorite band Edison Square played (to riotous applause, as usual). They introduced a new song — their third in the row parodying a Lady Gaga tune. They’re either obsessed with her or they need to get out more often!

Anyway, we did our best to transcribe the lyrics and, with their kind permission, present them to you for your reading, dancing, and (if you are so inclined) performing pleasure!

Drawn This Way
(With apologies to Lady Gaga)

It doesn’t matter if you’re W.B, or W-A-L-T.

You hold your gloves up,
‘Cause you’ve got character, baby.

I was a siren right from day one,
Sketched out as harsh sexy cruel.
They drew my bust, painted my dress on,
My look was all hot and cool.

A good design can help a toon go far,
So let the director have his say.
But how you look does not show who you are,
When your cells are on eBay.

I’m hard to look at you say,
But that brings me no shame.
I’m not a bad toon, baby,
I was drawn this way.

Put your eyes back in your head,
Look past the tight sequined dress.
I won’t hurt Roger, baby,
I was drawn this way.
(Drawn this way.)

Look at me some other way.
Baby, I was drawn this way,
Baby, I was drawn this way.
(Drawn this way.)

Close your mouth and go away.
Baby, I was drawn this way,
I’m not a bad toon, baby,
I was drawn this way

Don’t be a weasel, be a toon.
Don’t be a weasel, be a toon.
Don’t be a weasel, be a toon.
(Draw me!)

So I don’t age like your other friends,
Whack my head; hit me with pie.
Hurt me on film, you can’t destroy my worth,
Accept who I am; I cannot die.

A caricature is not a sin,
So keep away the D-I-P (hey, hey, hey)
I love my life, I love Toontown, and
I love you ‘cause you make me laugh.

I’m hard to look at you say,
But that brings me no shame.
I’m not a bad toon, baby,
I was drawn this way.

Don’t try to erase the past,
Accept your ink and you’re set.
I’m not a bad toon, baby,
I was drawn this way

Ink and paint and on my way.
Baby, I was drawn this way,
Baby, I was drawn this way.
(Drawn this way.)

Multiplane me all the way.
Baby, I was drawn this way.
Turn on the laugh track, baby,
I was drawn this way.

Don’t be straight man, be a dope,
Whether hand drawn or rotoscoped.
You’re black and white or Kodachrome,
Studio born or made at home.
You may be CAPS or CGI,
Motion captured or caught by eye,
Don’t let your looks run how you play,
‘Cause baby, you were drawn this way.

Animal, human, or freak,
A pantsless dude with a beak,
Saturday morning, baby,
Your career’s at its peek.

Now you may be Betty Boop,
Or South Park Christmastime poop,
You are the ACME, baby,
Not a cell of dry goop.

Ain’t got a line out of place,
My lead made no mistakes.
I’m no booby trap, baby,
I was drawn this way.

And when you feel like the dregs,
Remember Pete grew a leg.
I’m not a catch phrase, baby
I was drawn this way, yeah!

Try and tear your eyes away.
Baby, I was drawn this way,
Baby, I was drawn this way.
(Drawn this way.)

Throw your biases away.
Baby, I was drawn this way.
Go take an art class, baby,
I was drawn this way.

(C’mon Roger, let’s go home. I’ll bake you a carrot cake.)

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Party Line Telephone

Saturday, July 24th, 2010

Last night there was another amazing concert by Disney-fan band Edison Square, this time at the Rainbow Arsenal in Orange County. The place was pretty packed, but we managed to get a table near the stage, which is a good thing because they introduced a new song!

This was a weird one — possibly the most complex song The Square has ever done, and also possibly the most obscure. Thank goodness it’s danceable, because anyone who isn’t intimately familiar with Main Street’s Market House party line telephone isn’t going to have any idea what the lyrics are about.

This was a hard one to transcribe because it’s a conversation with three people. I put the main woman in regular type, the man in italics, and the third woman in bold. Play the Lady Gaga original and try to sing along — you’ll hurt yourself!

Party Line Telephone
(Apologies to Lady Gaga)

Hello, hello, I’m calling you? Is anybody there?
I have got the telephonic call Eugenia.
Hello, yes, thank g-goodness I want to report a fire.
I see my barn burning and the situation’s dire.

The situation’s dire
The situation’s dire
Flames are coming through the door
My barn is on fire.

Just a second, something is on fire did you say?
Then you’ll be wanting to talk to the fire chief, eh?
I’m sure he’s the man you want, but that just isn’t me.
I’m Quentin Spoon the city’s only postmaster, see?

Stop talkin’, stop talkin’, can’t you hear my barn is on fire?
I called for help ‘cross this new-fangled phone wire.
Stop talkin’, stop talkin’, can’t you hear my farm is on fire?
I called for help ‘cross this new-fangled phone wire.

d-d-d-d-d
Stop ignorin’ me
d-d-d-d-d
I’m frantic
d-d-d-d-d
Stop ignorin’ me

I thought I rang up the fire station.
And you did we all share this telephone
‘Cause it’s all that and more, it’s the general store,
And it’s also the post box telephone.

Hurry and get me the fire chief now,
Gotta reach him before my barn burns down.
It’s me, Quentin Spoon, I’m the fire chief, too.
Man’s gotta wear a whole lotta hats in this town.

If you’re the chief why not tell me so?
I’ve got to put my hat on.
Have to have the hat on.
An official hat on.

Could we please get back to my barn?
Just let me get my ink pen.
Alrighty let’s go, Miss.
Tell me, what is your name then?

I’m Mrs. Thelma Bird, 23 Elm Tree Lane
Now did you say that that was Mrs. Bird, did you say?
B-I-R-D Bird You said you spell it with a Y?
Not Y it’s I it’s Bird, okay? Okay, I’m listenin’.

No call for screamin’
No call for screamin’
No reason to get mad Miss Ird
No call for screamin’.

Stop talkin’, stop talkin’, can’t you hear my barn is on fire?
I called for help ‘cross this new-fangled phone wire.
Stop talkin’, stop talkin’, can’t you hear my farm is on fire?
I called for help ‘cross this new-fangled phone wire.

Stop talkin’, stop talkin’, can’t you hear my barn is on fire?
I called for help ‘cross this new-fangled phone wire.
Stop talkin’, stop talkin’, can’t you hear my farm is on fire?
I called for help ‘cross this new-fangled phone wire.

d-d-d-d-d
Is that you Thelma Bird?
d-d-d-d-d
Is that you?
d-d-d-d-d
Show a bit more respect.
d-d-d-d-d
To Quentin.

Gertrude you get off this line right now
Say Gertrude just how can I help you out?
I just want to know can you tell me for sho’
If my peacock feathers have arrived at the store?

Sounds like this calls for my postman hat.
Wait, can’t we all just forget about that?
Gertrude just let me be, it’s an emergency.
And my package is not? We’ll see ’bout that!

My barn’s on fire, m-m-my barn’s on fire.
Well all righty then miss,
What was that address?
23 Elm Tree lane with the barn on fire.

My barn’s on fire, m-m-my barn’s on fire.
Well I guess that’ll kind
Make it easy to find.
Well now it’s collapsed so there’s no more fire.

This has been an authentic 1890 party line conversation.
Please never take your cell phone for granted again.

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Edison Square: Clueless Guest

Thursday, May 27th, 2010

Wow! Due to the great reaction we got from yesterday’s post, Edison Square has said that we can post the lyrics to another one of their new songs. Enjoy!

Clueless Guest
(Apologies to Lady GaGa)

Ooooooh,
Stuck with a clueless guest
Ooooooh,
Stuck with a clueless guest

Oh-uh-ha-ha-ha
Where’s the, oh where’s the
Wait wha? Oh, uh uh
What a clueless guest.

Who huh? Na na na.
How’s the, who’s the wha?
When’s the, fa la la
What a clueless guest.

You might be ugly,
You might be diseased,
You might be badly dressed,
It’s okay with me
Unless you’re dense,
Dense, dense, dense,
Unless you’re dense.

Yes we sell water,
No churros aren’t free.
No I won’t watch your kid, oh don’t make a scene.
Please get a clue,
Clue, clue, clue
Please get a clue.

You ask for the bathroom,
While you stand in a bathroom,
Then you’re a real clueless guest.

You’re on the Mark Twain and look for stairs below deck,
So to me you are a clueless guest.
You ask me where to go for pictures with Shrek,
So to me you are a clueless guest.

Ooooooh,
Stuck with a clueless guest
Ooooooh,
Stuck with a clueless guest

Mouse ma fo fa fa
Ride the, ride the wha?
He ha, no no ma
What a clueless guest

Your kid’s way too short,
You say she’ll be fine.
Has safety ever even crossed your mind?
Please get a clue,
Clue, clue, clue
Please get a clue.

No you can’t climb that,
Please move through the gate.
The trash cans weren’t designed to hold a man’s weight.
You’re being dense,
Dense, dense, dense,
You’re being dense.

You know that I want to
Do what I can to help you
(‘Cause I’m a cast member, baby)
But you’re a real clueless guest.

You ask if Mickey’s house is okay for kids,
So to me you are a clueless guest.
You ask me where the Magic Mountain line is,
So to me you are a clueless guest.

Ooooooh,
Stuck with a clueless guest
Ooooooh,
Stuck with a clueless guest

Oh-uh-ha-ha-ha
Pi-rate, pi-rate huh
Wait wha? Oh, uh uh
What a clueless guest.

Who huh? Na na na.
Prin-cess, prin-cess huh
When’s the, fa la la
What a clueless guest.

Walk, walk, you can’t stand there,
There’s going to be a big parade here,
Walk, walk, you can’t stand there,
Traffic’s really backing up here.

Walk, walk, you can’t stand there,
Cross the rope and you can watch here,
Walk, walk, I can’t stand here,
No, go the other way lady!

Don’t want your love,
I just want you in line.
Don’t want your love,
I want you in your seat.
por favor mantenganse alejado de las puertas
permanecer sentados por favor

Please don’t run in the park.
(You are a clueless guest; you are a clueless guest)
Yes you have to wear shoes.
(You are a clueless guest; you are a clueless guest)
(Stuck with a clueless guest)

Don’t let your kids in the plants.
(You are a clueless guest; you are a clueless guest)
Don’t change your babe on the bench.
(You are a clueless guest; stuck with a clueless guest)
You are a clueless guest

You want to know if the dinos are real,
So to me you are a clueless guest.
You ask where you can get a cheap, healthy meal,
So to me you are a clueless guest.

Ooooooh,
What a clueless guest.
Stuck with a clueless guest
What a clueless guest.
What a clueless guest.
Stuck with a clueless guest

Mouse ma fo fa fa
Ride the, ride the wha?
He ha, no no ma
What a clueless guest

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World of Color removed from World of Color

Tuesday, May 18th, 2010

Disney corporate commander Bob “Robert” Iger was recently treated to a preview of DCA’s new “World of Color” water extravaganza. Apparently, according to unnamed individuals who just happened to be operating a high-tech listening device pointed in his direction from a balcony of the Paradise Pier hotel, Iger generally enjoyed the show but was displeased that it was based around the theme song from the old “The Wonderful World of Color” television show.

Apparently, Iger is worried that the old theme song will seem out of place with the park’s shiny new retro look. Fortunately, Imagineers were up to the task of a last-minute retooling of the attraction. The old theme song has been replaced with Lady GaGa’s “Just Dance.” In addition, a scene of Mickey dancing with cards from “Thru the Mirror” has been reworked to feature snippets of “Poker Face,” and Beauty and the Beast dance to “Bad Romance.”

“Now that gets my toes tapping!” said Iger (as reported by a distant lip reader with binoculars). There is no word on whether there is time to change the show’s name from World of Color to World of GaGa before opening night.

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