Disney Lies

In honor of all the new Indiana Jones entertainment at Disneyland, we though it might be nice to show off a little something from the Indy queue that many guests might have missed.

While waiting for your turn to be thrown about by this attraction’s vehicles (which operate quite smoothly when they are in good repair, by the way), make sure to peek into every little nook and cranny in the queue. You may be rewarded with the sight of one of many 3D hidden Mickeys!

(Thanks to our Official DisneyLies Photo Correspondent for the picture!)

The fourth Indiana Jones film (Indiana Jones and the Magic Quartz Head) will be released to theaters next week, and Disneyland has announced that there will be a number of exciting activities in Adventureland to help the park ride on the film’s advertising shirttails. Specifically:

• Indiana Jones Adventure Map: Guests will be able to buy a map that shows in great detail every nook and cranny of Adventureland — from the nearest bathroom to the farthest branch of Tarzan’s Tree House. No more getting lost in this expansive themed area!
• Adventure Photo Location: Ever want to have a cast member in a neat hat take your picture so that you didn’t have to hold your own camera? Now you can!
• Indiana Jones Adventure Queue: The Indy ride’s queue will be “plussed” with extra dust, muskier darkness, more guests, and more of that great “lived in” feeling that everyone enjoys. Also, the safety spiel video will be replaced with the original Raiders of the Lost Ark.
• Jungle Cruise: Some animatronic animals will be replaced with characters from the Indiana Jones films, and Jungle Cruise Skippers will have a new spiel incorporating Indy-themed elements. For example: “Some people say that Adolf Hitler could jump thirty feet, but don’t worry — we’re only ten feet away so he’ll heil right over us.”
• Indiana Jones in Adventureland: Indiana Jones himself will appear in Adventureland and do battle with an evil guy! The battle will include rooftop action, whip fights, acrobatics, and carefully orchestrated fisticuffs, ranging all over Adventureland (except during times of high crowds, during which Indy will just shoot the guy).
• Animatronic Indy: Indiana Jones figures will be added to Pirates of the Caribbean, and rumor has it that young Indiana Jones will appear in a certain “small” attraction after its extensive refurb ends.
• And more: Later in the year, watch for the opening of Indiana Jones’ Secret Base at Pirate’s Lair on Tom Sawyer Island!

Disneyland has always maintained a focus on safety (aside from a brief period beginning in the mid ’90s). Even so, park management thinks that guests are not doing enough to keep their part of the safety bargain.

“You have no idea how unsafe guests can be,” said Perry Winkle, fictional Disneyland management professional. “They dance atop trash cans, put their kids on stilts to get them past height restrictions, and barely get out of the way when chunks fly off of insect-themed parade vehicles. Despite the safety benefits, it would be cost prohibitive to relieve the park of guests. That is why we have begun the Disneyland Safety Performance Initiative.”

This initiative involves teaching cast members to work safety information into their characters. Haunted Mansion cast members, for example, already use safety-related dialog (e.g., “Drag your body to the dead center of the room, or the unstoppable closing doors may leave half your corpse behind.”)

Our Official Disney Lies Photo Correspondent caught sight of a pair of newly trained Indiana Jones cast members perform the “if you’re not at least this tall, you could end up like this” skit.

Hopefully, this will make us all much safer!