The Haunted Mansion’s exterior hasn’t changed a lick since it opened (aside from the addition of the pet cemetery, the extension of the queue, the removal of part of the graveyard, the addition of the Mormon funeral coffin, some landscaping, installing a manhole cover in the middle of the grass for some reason, and the occasional annual redecorating for the Halloween/holiday season). See?
Next up: A raft of photos
We’re big Haunted Mansion fans, so we saved our favorite meme for last. Here’s a mostly complete Haunted Caretaker meme collection (which will haunt you until you return!)
This morning, the Haunted Mansion wasn’t particularly crowded, so we stayed back a bit and let the other guests go by after leaving the stretching room. We were looking at the portrait of the man and discovered that if you stand there long enough for the crowd to have moved on to their Doombuggies, the portrait talks!
Here’s what it said:
When your wife gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade — make her take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t care if she has an axe; what the hell is she going to do with that? Demand to see your wife’s mother! Make your wife rue the day she thought she could give Captain Gracey lemons! Want to cut off my head? Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna haunt your house forever! With the lemons! I’m gonna get Leota to conjure a spectral lemon that pulls a thousand ghosts here! And we’ll leave room for you!
I don’t know if this is new or if it was just there for Father’s Day, but I will say this — it’s probably the weirdest and most obscure reference in the entire mansion!
Why does the side entrance to the Candy Palace look like the entrance to a penny arcade? There are two reasons. First, because only people with money are attracted to an arcade, and Disneyland’s marketing department loves it when the park’s stores are filled with people who have money. And second, because people who are tricked into a candy store are less likely to say “Wait! This isn’t a penny arcade!” and more likely to say “Hey! Candy!”
This may sound cold, calculating, and unmagically marketing centered, but in reality it’s something that Disneyland has been doing from day one. The next time you visit the park, notice just how many examples there are of “bait and switch” tactics employed. For example:
Nothing negative is implied by these revelations, of course. All these minor deceptions are designed to enhance the guest experience in one way or another. If they leave you feeling a little uneasy, though, just remember that the Haunted Mansion really is haunted, Toontown is officially a California town, and the Matterhorn is, in fact, 100% matter.
Coming up next: Plaza Pavilion
In celebration of the immensely profitable new Pixar film WALL*E, Disney is moving forward with its “Hiring the Body Electric” initiative, which will see robots used much more extensively throughout the theme parks.
In this photo, you can just make out a trio of electronic cast members performing regular maintenance in the Haunted Mansion’s garden.
In the future, expect to see robotic humanoids picking up trash, cooking food, repairing attractions, handling disruptions, enforcing line etiquette, punishing the rebellious, and generally keeping puny humans in their rightful place — the happiest place on earth!
There has been quite a bit of controversy recently regarding rumored plans to insert Disney characters into Disneyland’s classic “it’s a small world” attraction (Condorman in Canada, Nemo in the vehicle waterway, etc.)
To address complaints that classic Mary “Mary” Blair characters are going to be displaced by cartoon characters, Imagineers have announced that any displaced characters will find new homes in other Disneyland attractions. Look for tiny foreign children to make ghostly appearances in the Haunted Mansion, float weightless in Space Mountain, and participate in the newly rescripted, “tiki room school room.”
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