Posts Tagged ‘Esmeralda’

Photoland: Two Half Sisters

Thursday, March 7th, 2013

Main Street features a number of artificial women in prominent roles.

One of them is the mystically popular Esmeralda…

Photoland: Two Half Sisters 1

…who to this day tells fortunes in front of the Main Street Candy Store Penny Arcade. Although prices have gone up a little over the years, Esmeralda’s prophecies remain as accurate as ever.

Across the street…

Photoland: Two Half Sisters 2

…is Esmeralda’s sister Tilly. Tilly is the Main Street Cinema’s ticket taker, but when the park stopped using ticket books she was no longer needed to perform this function. Her animatronics were removed (they were later used in one of Splash Mountain’s dancing chickens) and Tilly’s role became a purely decorative one.

Next up: Fire!

Disneyland Tour: Fakemeralda

Monday, April 18th, 2011

Disneyland Tour: Fakemeralda

The Penny Arcade’s “Fakemeralda” machine is an electronic embarrassment — an attempt to update the original Esmeralda with electronics and disco lights. The effect is cold, artificial, and lifeless; the fortunes inexact and woodenly constructed.

As an experiment, we obtained fortunes from both Esmeralda and Fakemeralda. They can be summarized as follows:

Esmeralda: You are a special individual with hopes and dreams that you keep to yourself but dearly wish to see fulfilled. You have the capacity for great love even though you don’t always show it, and enrich the lives of those who place their trust in you. Today, you will experience clouds in the morning, leading to sunshine in the evening. There is $117.43 in your pocket. Your lucky lottery numbers are 14 12 62 41 6 28.

Fakemeralda: I am Eliza. How do you do. Please state your problem. Your fortune? You seem to be quite positive. Is it because you are that you came to me? Wikipedia defines “you” as a female, quadrupedal, ruminant mammal typically kept as livestock. The third digit of pi is 12.

Coming up next: Penny Arcade jukebox

Disneyland Tour: Esmeralda

Wednesday, April 13th, 2011

Disneyland Tour: Esmeralda

Esmeralda — “Disneyland’s original Miss Fortune” — has been a Disneyland favorite since the park opened in (approximately) 1955. She is an Audio-Animatronic device capable of sixteen degrees of motion and fourteen points of temporal astral sensation, letting her divine uncannily accurate fortunes for guests of any age, birth sign, or degree of stubborn skepticism.

When the park opened, Esmeralda would tell fortunes for a penny. Later, when attraction coupons became available, she was an “A” attraction, but difficulties with the primitive forgery-protection devices available at the time (Esmeralda frequently accepted Monopoly money or folded $5 notes as if they were A coupons) led to the return of coin-based fortune-telling services.

Many guests have reported on Esmeralda’s uncanny ability to see into their hearts and predict their futures. A few examples from the many compliment form received by Disneyland Guest Services:

  • “I tried the Esmeralda fortune teller on Main Street and it told me that I am more sensitive than most people realize, I enjoy my hobbies, and I sometimes worry about particular things. All true! How could she possibly have known such deep truths about me?”
  • “Esmeralda said that I would visit a magical place and have a fine time. It even correctly predicted that I was on vacation or was taking time off work or it was a weekend!”
  • “Your Esmeralda machine took my quarter, moved a bit, but then didn’t give me a fortune. I was upset at first, but then nothing of particular note happened for the rest of the day, so it was right!”
  • “My friends told me that if I put a quarter in the fortune telling machine I’d get a piece of card stock with words printed on it — and I did!”
  • “I have to admit that I was skeptical of the Esmeralda machine, but I took a chance anyway. The robot Gypsy output a card that said if I would quit smoking, finally get the guts to ask my long-time live-in girlfriend to marry me, and make a clean break by admitting to my boss that I had been purposefully ‘losing’ some of the form 6A’s from department 12 just to keep my workload down, I would lose my job but then could go home with a clean conscience and find an old lottery ticket under my couch cushion that had numbers I should use on the subsequent week’s Powerball lottery. I did and I won $160 million, which I will invest almost entirely in Disney stock. Thanks!”

A bit of trivia, Esmeralda is so popular that the Gypsy character in Disney’s animated The Hunchback of Notre Dame was named for her.

Coming up next: Mutoscopes