Disneyland Tour: Penny Arcade jukebox

April 19th, 2011

Disneyland Tour: Penny Arcade jukebox

This original 1853 Wurlitzer jukebox sits at the back of the Penny Arcade, completely functional but little used. It is activated by the insertion of a penny and the pressing of buttons “A” and “1″ to indicate which of the jukebox’s one available song should be played. The jukebox has all four of its original music rolls available for installation by cast members, for a total of eight songs if the rolls’ “b sides” (which sound quite a bit like the “a sides” with their notes reversed) are counted.

Coming up next: Candy Palace

Disneyland Tour: Fakemeralda

April 18th, 2011

Disneyland Tour: Fakemeralda

The Penny Arcade’s “Fakemeralda” machine is an electronic embarrassment — an attempt to update the original Esmeralda with electronics and disco lights. The effect is cold, artificial, and lifeless; the fortunes inexact and woodenly constructed.

As an experiment, we obtained fortunes from both Esmeralda and Fakemeralda. They can be summarized as follows:

Esmeralda: You are a special individual with hopes and dreams that you keep to yourself but dearly wish to see fulfilled. You have the capacity for great love even though you don’t always show it, and enrich the lives of those who place their trust in you. Today, you will experience clouds in the morning, leading to sunshine in the evening. There is $117.43 in your pocket. Your lucky lottery numbers are 14 12 62 41 6 28.

Fakemeralda: I am Eliza. How do you do. Please state your problem. Your fortune? You seem to be quite positive. Is it because you are that you came to me? Wikipedia defines “you” as a female, quadrupedal, ruminant mammal typically kept as livestock. The third digit of pi is 12.

Coming up next: Penny Arcade jukebox

New Disney shorts coming soon! (re-re-revised again)

April 15th, 2011

Sorry to report that we made yet another in our long series of mistakes yesterday when we re-re-revised our announcement that Disney had announced a series of all-new short cartoons. We said that the titles of the shorts would be Disney feature film titles mashed up with famous movies, and this is not the case. In fact, it’s such a silly idea that because we didn’t question it in the first place, we’re going to go drown ourselves in the bathtub as soon as we’re done with this post. (Seriously, we’ve had about all we can take of this from us.)

Instead, the title of each of these parody shorts will be a "mashup" of a classic Disney film and a famous book title. For example, "Tangled" might be combined with Ray Bradbury’s "Something Wicked This Way Comes," giving us "Something Tangled This Way Comes."

Disney hopes that fans will enjoy trying to puzzle out what the original film and play were and what the parody will be like from the "mashup" title and then tune in to see what it’s like. Our at-this-point-obviously-completely-unreliable sources deep within Disney report that titles currently in production include:

  • The 7 Swords in the Stones of Highly Effective People
  • The Absent-Minded American Psycho
  • The Adventures of Oedipus and Mr. Rex
  • Aladdin of Green Gables
  • Angels in the Leaves of Grass
  • Are you there God? It’s Me, Squanto
  • The Aristocats Always Ring Twice
  • The Autobiography of Alice B. Wonderland
  • Beowulf and the Beast
  • Blackbeard’s Great Expectations
  • Blackboard Junglebook
  • The Bolt Report
  • A Brief History of Melody Time
  • The Call of the Wild Babes in Toyland
  • The Candleshoe Manifesto
  • Captain Underpants: Fully Loaded
  • Cars-22
  • The Cat in the Hat from Outer Space
  • Chicken Little Soup for the Soul
  • The Clan of the Country Bears
  • Curious George Goes Bananas
  • Cuthulu Wore Tennis Shoes
  • The Da Vinci Cauldron
  • Darby O’Gill and the Little Women
  • Davy Crockett, King of Flatland
  • The Descent of the Monkey’s Uncle
  • Diary of a Wimpy Princess
  • The Dinosaur in the Rye
  • Dumbo Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
  • Electraphobia
  • The Emperor’s Brave New Groove
  • Escape to My Side of the Mountain
  • Fantasia 1984
  • The Feminine Mystique, or Ten Weeks With a Circus
  • The Fox and the Hound of the Baskervilles
  • Fun and Fancy Fahrenheit 451
  • Gargantua and Pantagruel Ride Again
  • The Girl with the Reluctant Dragon Tattoo
  • Go Ask Ernest
  • Gone with the Song of the South
  • Good Morning Dune
  • Gulliver, I Shrunk the Kids
  • The Happiest Exorcist
  • Harry Potter and the Living Desert
  • Herbie Goes to Slaughterhouse-Five
  • Hercules Shrugged
  • The History of the Decline and Fall of the Sorcerer’s Apprentice
  • The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Haunted Mansion
  • Homer on the Range
  • Hot War and Cold Peace
  • How to Win Friends and Influence the Apple Dumpling Gang
  • I Know Why the Little Mermaid Sings
  • The Island at the Top of the World According to Garp
  • James and the Giant Clockwork Orange
  • The Joy of Cooking Brother Bear
  • The Last of the Atlantians
  • The Late, Great Treasure Planet
  • Lolita & Stitch
  • Lord of the Bug’s Life
  • The Love Bible
  • Love in the Time of Cinderella
  • Make Mine Moby-Dick
  • Mars Needs Metamorphosis
  • Meet the Robinsons Livingston Seagull
  • Men are from Monsters, Inc., Women are from Fantasia
  • A Midsummer Nightmare Before Christmas
  • The Mighty Ravens
  • The Million Dollar Duck of Ivan Ilyich
  • A Modest Pinocchio
  • Mulan Quixote
  • The Muppet Masters
  • Native Son of Flubber
  • Of Bambi and Men
  • Oh Bedknobs! My Broomsticks!
  • The One and Only, Genuine, Original Faustian Band
  • One Hundred and One Years of Solitude
  • One Tron in the Life of Ivan Denisovich
  • Paradise Lost and Dante’s Inferno: Best of Both Worlds Concert
  • Pete’s Decameron
  • Peyton Place Chihuahua
  • The Picture of Mary Poppins
  • The Pilgrim’s Incredible Progress
  • The Pirates of Madison County
  • Pocahontas and Prejudice
  • The Princess and the Pendulum
  • Rememberance of Titans Past
  • The Rescuers Down Under the Little House on the Prairie
  • The Rescuers’ Badge of Courage
  • Return to Ozymandias
  • Rhyme of the Gnome-Mobile
  • Saludos Ulysses
  • The Second Tex
  • The Shaggy Dog Whisperer
  • Silent Spring: Legacy
  • The Sister Act of the Traveling Pants
  • Snow White and the House of the Seven Gables
  • So Dear to My Sons and Lovers
  • Something Tangled This Way Comes
  • The Strongest Man in the War of the Worlds
  • Sweet Valley High School Musical
  • A Tale of Two Caballeros
  • That Darn Oedipus!
  • Their Eyes Were Watching Sleeping Beauty
  • Think and Grow Ratatouille
  • Thus Spoke Thomasina
  • Tin Drum Story
  • To Kill a Lion King
  • A Tree Grows in Treasure Island
  • Twilight and the Tramp
  • Uncle Tom’s Tarzan
  • Unidentified Flying Brothers Karamazov
  • Up Around the World in 80 Days
  • Valley of the Toy Story 2 Dolls
  • Victory Through Hobbit Power
  • Vindication of the Rights of Zorro
  • WALL-E and the Chocolate Factory
  • The Watcher in the Woods on a Snowy Evening
  • What to Expect When You’re Enchanted
  • Where the Black Hole Grows
  • Where’s Nemo?
  • Who Framed Hamlet’s Father
  • Wuthering Herbie

Did we miss any? If you’ve heard of any additional titles in this series (or if you hear that we got one wrong), be sure to immediately let us know in the comments! And if we got it completely wrong again this time — we give up!

Disneyland Tour: Pressed pennies (and other coins)

April 15th, 2011

Disneyland Tour: Pressed pennies (and other coins)

Throughout Disneyland can be found “press a penny” machines that extrude U.S. currency into jolly Disneyland souvenirs in defiance of common sense, the laws of physics, and several Treasury Department statutes. The original Pressed Penny machines require the insertion of a penny to be mangled along with a pair of quarters to pay for the service. The penny is returned with a design of the guest’s choice imprinted on Lincoln’s monstrously elongated face.

The popularity of these novelty devices led to “press a quarter” machines (pictured here) that require the insertion of a quarter to be entertainingly devalued along with a pair of fifty-cent pieces to pay for the service. In 2001, Disneyland tested “press a Sacagawea” machines in which a dollar coin and two two-dollar bills were inserted, but these proved unpopular, as did “press a dollar” machines in which paper dollars were pressed to little visible effect.

In many places in the United States, pennies are considered good luck. Because of this, the original Disneyland devices came to be known as “press your luck” machines, giving birth to the popular phrase.

Interesting note: If you ask really nicely and/or have a hissy fit, pressed coins are acceptable as legal tender anywhere on Disneyland property.

Coming up next: Fakemeralda

New Disney shorts coming soon! (re-revised again)

April 14th, 2011

Sorry to report that we made yet another little mistake yesterday when we re-revised our announcement that Disney had announced a series of all-new short cartoons. We said that the titles of the shorts would be Disney feature film titles mashed up with famous stage productions, and this is not the case. In fact, it’s such a silly idea that we deserve to be brought up on charges for not having questioned it in the first place.

Instead, the title of each of these parody shorts will be a "mashup" of a classic Disney film and a famous non-Disney film. For example, "Tangled" might be combined with Troma’s "The Toxic Avenger," giving us "The Tangled Avenger."

Disney hopes that fans will enjoy trying to puzzle out what the original film and play were and what the parody will be like from the "mashup" title and then tune in to see what it’s like. Our yet-again-revised sources deep within Disney report that titles currently in production include:

  • 20,000 Showgirls Under the Sea
  • Abbot and Costello meet the Cat from Outer Space
  • The Absent-Minded Professor Goes to Washington
  • Ace Ventura: Great Mouse Detective
  • The Adventures of Ichabod and Mister Tibbs
  • Aladdin of Arabia
  • Aliens, Inc.
  • Apocalypse Nemo
  • Arachnaquadrophenia
  • Beauty and the Graduate
  • Bedknobs and the Birth of a Nation
  • Beverly Hills Caddyshack
  • Blackbeard’s Ghostbusters
  • The Blacula Cauldron
  • The Blade Runner’s Apprentice
  • Bolt-Hur
  • Bowling for Candleshoe
  • Brother Jazz Singer
  • Charlie’s Angels in the Outfield
  • Citizen Clause
  • Clerks on the Range
  • The Country Bears Chainsaw Massacre
  • Darby O’Gill or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Little People
  • Davy Crockett, King of the Crying Game
  • Dawn of the Enchanted
  • Dead Pocahontas’ Society
  • Deliverance in Wonderland
  • Dial M for Mulan
  • Dr. Up
  • The Emperor’s New Social Network
  • Ernest Goes Psycho
  • Escape from Fantasia
  • The Evil Dead Wore Tennis Shoes
  • Fantasia 2000: A Space Odyssey
  • Fast Times at Ridgemont High School Musical
  • Faster, Aristocats! Kill! Kill!
  • Forrest Gump: A Warrior’s Tale
  • Freaky Friday the 13th
  • Fun and Fancy Fight Club
  • G-Force from Navarone
  • Good Morning Fargo
  • The Good, The Bad, and the Monkey’s Uncle
  • The Great Escape to Witch Mountain
  • The Happiest Slumdog Millionaire
  • Haunted Mansion Home Alone
  • Herbie Goes Commando
  • Herbie Rides Back to the Future
  • Honey, I Shrunk the Matrix
  • Hot Lead and Die Hard
  • The Incredible Shrinking Journey
  • The Island at the Top of Brazil
  • It’s a Wonderful Bug’s Life
  • The Jungle Book Fever
  • Lilo & Thelma & Louise
  • The Lion Sting
  • The Little Mermaid Poseidon Adventure
  • Living Desert of the Spotless Mind
  • The Logan Dumpling Gang Runs Again
  • Lost Weekend: Fully Loaded
  • Mad Max Goes Bananas
  • Make Mine Spinal Tap
  • The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh Across the 8th Dimension
  • Mars Needs Napoleon Dynamite
  • Meet the Robinsons Who Knew Too Much
  • Melody Time Bandits
  • The Mighty Jaws
  • The Million Dollar Duck Soup
  • Monty Python and the Giant Peach
  • National Lampoon’s Shaggy Dog House
  • The National Treasure of the Sierra Madre
  • Night of the Living Dumbo
  • Nightmare on Elm Street Before Christmas
  • Old Yeller: Dead and Loving It
  • The Omen-Mobile
  • The One and Only, Genuine, Original Plan 9 from Outer Space
  • One Hundred and One Reservoir Dogs
  • One of Our Third Men is Missing
  • Operation Rocky Drop
  • The Passion of the Apple Dumpling Gang
  • Peter Pan’s Big Adventure
  • Pete’s Maltese Dragon
  • Predator vs. Hercules
  • Pride of the Incredibles
  • The Princess and the Breakfast Club
  • The Princess Bride Diaries
  • Raiders of the Lost Atlantis
  • The Ratatouille Horror Picture Show
  • Rebel Without a Cars
  • The Reluctant Godfather
  • Remember the Clash of the Titans
  • Return from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
  • The Road Warrior Down Under
  • Robin N da Hood
  • Robocop & Company
  • Rosemary’s Bambi
  • Saturday Night Flubber
  • Saving Private Pinocchio
  • The Saw in the Stone
  • Scream Story / Scream Story 2 / Scream Story 3
  • Se7en of the South
  • The Shaggy Dog Day Afternoon
  • The Sign of El Mariachi
  • Silence of the Poppins
  • Singin’ in the Black Hole
  • Sleepless Beauty in Seattle
  • Snow White and the Seven Samurai
  • Some Like It Hunchback
  • Star Wars and Star Trek: Best of Both Worlds Concert
  • Strangers on a Dinosaur
  • The Strongest Manchurian Candidate in the World
  • Swiss Family Rollerball
  • The Tangled Avenger
  • Tarzan and Maude
  • Taxi Driver Rides Again
  • Terminator of the Caribbean
  • That Darn Deer Hunter!
  • Three Days of the Condorman
  • Throw Cinderella from the Train
  • Titanic: Legacy
  • Toby or Not Toby Tyler
  • Tootsie and the Tramp
  • Treasure Planet of the Apes
  • The Tron Commandments
  • Twelve Angry Caballeros
  • Unidentified Flying Airplane!
  • Victory Through Avatar Power
  • WALL-E.T.
  • The Watchmen in the Woods
  • What Ever Happened to Babes in Toyland?
  • Who Framed JFK
  • The World’s Greatest Chinatown

Did we miss any? If you’ve heard of any additional titles in this series (or if you hear that we got one wrong), be sure to immediately let us know in the comments!

Disneyland Tour: Mutoscopes

April 14th, 2011

Disneyland Tour: Mutoscopes

Despite their cool-sounding name, mutoscopes don’t actually mutate anything, much to the disappointment of Calvin, Hobbes, and related small children. In fact, the only thing at Disneyland capable of causing mutations were the old x-ray machines you could put your head in to see how well your Mickey Mouse hat fit, and Tomorrowland’s iconic “glow churros,” both of which have been discontinued.

When activated by the insertion of a penny and the turn of a crank, mutoscopes flip through a series of photographs giving the illusion of a moving picture, much like big, iron, black-and-white flip books, but with a much higher construction cost and less resistance to rust. Disneyland’s mutoscopes feature films by Charlie Chaplin, Harold Lloyd, Hopalong Cassidy, Ronald Regan, and other silent-era stars that mean as much to today’s youth as 78s, dime novels, and, well, mutoscopes.

In Disneyland’s early days, some guests complained that they spent a penny only to see a “lame little film” when they turned the crank. This is where the phrase “a turn for the worse” came from.

Coming up next: Pressed pennies (and other coins)

New Disney shorts coming soon! (revised again)

April 13th, 2011

Sorry to report that we made another little mistake yesterday when we revised our announcement that Disney had announced a series of all-new short cartoons. We said that the titles of the shorts would be Disney feature film titles with one letter changed, and this is not the case. In fact, it’s such a silly idea that we deserve to be slapped silly for not having questioned it in the first place.

Instead, the title of each of these parody shorts will be a "mashup" of a classic Disney film and a famous musical, play, or other stage production. For example, "Tangled" might be combined with Shakespeare’s "All’s Well That Ends Well," giving us "All’s Well that Ends Tangled."

Disney hopes that fans will enjoy trying to puzzle out what the original film and play were and what the parody will be like from the "mashup" title and then tune in to see what it’s like. Our again revised sources deep within Disney report that titles currently in production include:

  • The Absent-Minded Demon Barber of Fleet Street
  • Alice Get Your Gun
  • All’s Well that Ends Tangled
  • Annie Poppins
  • Aristo-Cats
  • Arsenic and Old Yeller
  • Atlantis!
  • Beauty and the Chorus Line
  • Bedknobs and Magic Flutes
  • The Best Little Hunchback in Texas
  • Bring in ‘da Monsters, Bring in ‘da Inc.
  • The Brother Bear of Seville
  • Bye Bye Bambi
  • Cabaret on the Range
  • The Cat from Avenue Q
  • Cirque du Saludos Amigos
  • Death of a Condorman
  • Ernest Goes to Swan Lake
  • Flubber on the Roof
  • For Colored Girls Who Have Considered High School When the Musical is Enuf
  • A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Black Hole
  • Guys and Cars
  • Gypsy-Force
  • H.M.S. Pocahontas
  • Hairspray: Fully Loaded
  • Hannah Montana and Miley Cyrus: Characters in Search of an Author
  • Haunted Mansion of the August Moon
  • Hello, WALL-E!
  • Herbie and the Angry Inch
  • Honey, I’m Waiting for Godot
  • Hot Lead and Cold Grease
  • How to Succeed in the One and Only, Genuine, Original Family Band Without Really Trying
  • The Importance of Being Enchanted
  • Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Squanto
  • Kiss Me, Bolt
  • The Last of the Red Hot Little Mermaids
  • Les Incroyables
  • Lilo & Bess
  • The Lion King and I
  • Love Bug aux Falles
  • M. Bug’s Life
  • Make Mine the Music Man
  • The Many Adventures of Wagner’s Ring
  • The Marriage of Dumbo
  • Mars Needs Mama Mia!
  • Mikado O’Gill and the Little People
  • The Miracle Worker’s Apprentice
  • My Fair Lady and the Tramp
  • No Deposit, No Glass Menagerie
  • The Nutcracker Before Christmas
  • Oedipus Tex
  • Oh, Cinderella!
  • Oliver & Company Are Dead
  • Operation Elephant Man Drop
  • Our Town Chihuahua
  • Peter Pan Superstar
  • The Pinocchio of Second Avenue
  • Pirates of Penzance of the Caribbean
  • Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Flying Dutchman
  • The Princess Deathtrap
  • The Producers Wore Tennis Shoes
  • Rent in Toyland
  • Rigoletto Down Under
  • The Rocketteers
  • Same Tron Next Year
  • Seven Brides for Seven Dwarves
  • Stop the Country Bears — I Want to Get Off
  • A Streetcar Named Dinosaur
  • Sunday in the Park with George of the Jungle
  • That Darn Cat on a Hot Tin Roof!
  • West Side Toy Story
  • Who’s Afraid of the Mighty Ducks?

Did we miss any? If you’ve heard of any additional titles in this series (or if you hear that we got one wrong), be sure to immediately let us know in the comments!

Disneyland Tour: Esmeralda

April 13th, 2011

Disneyland Tour: Esmeralda

Esmeralda — “Disneyland’s original Miss Fortune” — has been a Disneyland favorite since the park opened in (approximately) 1955. She is an Audio-Animatronic device capable of sixteen degrees of motion and fourteen points of temporal astral sensation, letting her divine uncannily accurate fortunes for guests of any age, birth sign, or degree of stubborn skepticism.

When the park opened, Esmeralda would tell fortunes for a penny. Later, when attraction coupons became available, she was an “A” attraction, but difficulties with the primitive forgery-protection devices available at the time (Esmeralda frequently accepted Monopoly money or folded $5 notes as if they were A coupons) led to the return of coin-based fortune-telling services.

Many guests have reported on Esmeralda’s uncanny ability to see into their hearts and predict their futures. A few examples from the many compliment form received by Disneyland Guest Services:

  • “I tried the Esmeralda fortune teller on Main Street and it told me that I am more sensitive than most people realize, I enjoy my hobbies, and I sometimes worry about particular things. All true! How could she possibly have known such deep truths about me?”
  • “Esmeralda said that I would visit a magical place and have a fine time. It even correctly predicted that I was on vacation or was taking time off work or it was a weekend!”
  • “Your Esmeralda machine took my quarter, moved a bit, but then didn’t give me a fortune. I was upset at first, but then nothing of particular note happened for the rest of the day, so it was right!”
  • “My friends told me that if I put a quarter in the fortune telling machine I’d get a piece of card stock with words printed on it — and I did!”
  • “I have to admit that I was skeptical of the Esmeralda machine, but I took a chance anyway. The robot Gypsy output a card that said if I would quit smoking, finally get the guts to ask my long-time live-in girlfriend to marry me, and make a clean break by admitting to my boss that I had been purposefully ‘losing’ some of the form 6A’s from department 12 just to keep my workload down, I would lose my job but then could go home with a clean conscience and find an old lottery ticket under my couch cushion that had numbers I should use on the subsequent week’s Powerball lottery. I did and I won $160 million, which I will invest almost entirely in Disney stock. Thanks!”

A bit of trivia, Esmeralda is so popular that the Gypsy character in Disney’s animated The Hunchback of Notre Dame was named for her.

Coming up next: Mutoscopes

New Disney shorts coming soon! (revised)

April 12th, 2011

Sorry to report that we made a little mistake yesterday when we reported that Disney had announced a series of all-new short cartoons. We said that the titles of the shorts would be shortened versions of Disney feature film titles, and this is not the case. In fact, it’s such a silly idea that we’re embarrassed not to have questioned it in the first place.

Instead, each of these parody shorts will share the title of a Disney feature film, but with one letter changed. For example, the "a" in "Tangled" is changed to an "i", giving us "Tingled."

Disney hopes that fans will enjoy trying to puzzle out what the original film was and what the parody will be like from its "slightly modified" title and then tune in to see what it’s like. Our revised sources deep within Disney report that titles currently in production include:

  • Alive in Wonderland
  • The Apple Rumpling Gang
  • The Arestocats
  • Atlantis: The Lost Umpire
  • Babes in Boyland
  • Beauty and the Feast
  • The Black Hope
  • Bombi
  • Brother Beer
  • Cabs
  • Candorman
  • Catatouille
  • Chucken Little
  • The Commuter Wore Tennis Shoes
  • The Country Beers
  • Dambo
  • Dolt
  • Dome on the Range
  • Fartasia
  • Fun and Fancy Tree
  • Funding Nemo
  • G-Farce
  • Gong of the South
  • The Great Souse Detective
  • Hannah Montana and Miley Cyrus: Pest of Both Worlds Concert
  • Herbie Rises Again
  • Herbie: Fully Loafed
  • The Honkey’s Uncle
  • Hot Lead and Gold Feet
  • James and the Giant Beach
  • The Jungle Cook
  • Lady and the Cramp
  • Lilo & Snitch
  • The Live Bug
  • The Loon King
  • The Loving Desert
  • The Many Adventures of Winnie the Poof
  • Mars Feeds Moms
  • Mercules
  • The Mighty Docks
  • Milan
  • The Million Dollar Deck
  • Mobsters, Inc.
  • The Nightmaze Before Christmas
  • Old Teller
  • Operation Dumbo Drip
  • Pantasia 2000
  • The Parent Wrap
  • Pele’s Dragon
  • The Pocketeer
  • The Princess and the Grog
  • Punocchio
  • Robin Food
  • A Rug’s Life
  • Sandleshoe
  • The Sappiest Millionaire
  • The Shaggy Hog
  • The Sigh of Zorro
  • Sinderella
  • Sister Ace
  • Snow Whine and the Seven Dwarfs
  • The Strongest Fan in the World
  • Sweeping Beauty
  • That Yarn Cat!
  • The Three Limes of Thomasina
  • Tingled
  • Toe Story
  • Ton of Flubber
  • Toon: Legacy
  • Troy
  • Ug
  • Unidentified Frying Oddball
  • WALL-I
  • Wary Poppins

Did we miss any? If you’ve heard of any additional titles in this series (or if you hear that we got one wrong), be sure to immediately let us know in the comments!

Disneyland Tour: Penny Arcade

April 12th, 2011

Disneyland Tour: Penny Arcade

Named for silent movie star Penny Arcade (sister of Crystal Arcade), Main Street’s Penny Arcade was originally home for many coin-operated diversions from days of yore. These included various mutoscopes, “love” and “strength” testers, pinball machines (the kind with real pins), and such classic mechanical amusements as Ping Pong, Pac-Gentleman, Street Brawler, Perilous Combat, Mule Ape, Cannonball Command, Automatron 1984, Pencipede, Turncoat Hunter, Aether Invaders, Luna Lander, Bicycle Newsie, Celebrated Jumping Frogger, Waltz Waltz Revolution, Penultimate Fantasy, Jug Band, Grand Theft Velocipede, and Super Sacco and Vanzetti Brothers.

Years later, the adjacent Candy Palace expanded during the middle of the night as part of a hostile takeover action, annexing much of the Penny Arcade’s floor and wall space for the sale of taffy and Goofy Candy Company merchandise. At first, these new items were all sold for a penny to help them better fit with the remaining penny entertainments, but this policy was adjusted when it was made clear that the park was losing millions of dollars a day by selling candy at below cost, and that increasing sales volume was unlikely to solve the problem.

Coming up next: Esmeralda