Hidden Lincoln

December 30th, 2014

We are big fans of Walt Disney’s famous “Hidden Lincolns” (images of and references to Abraham Lincoln that are hidden around the Disneyland resort). However, like most Disneyland fans, we assumed that the tradition of placing these images had ended with Walt’s passing.

So it was with much excitement that, while watching Phineas and Ferb: Mission Marvel (which we happily received for Christmas),  we discovered this:

Phineas and Ferb hidden Lincoln

(If you have any doubts, click the image to see the complete, original screenshot.)

 

If you are, for some reason, unfamiliar with Hidden Lincolns and want to learn more, we recommend you visit the official [sic] Hidden Lincolns website.

Letting go — again!

December 29th, 2014

As 2014 draws to a close, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences (TAMPAS) has dropped a huge happiness bomb on fans of Disney animation. Said someone who spoke to us under the condition that they be referred to only as Oscar:

In recognition of its massive impact on society, culture, and merchandise sales, the Academy has decided that, even though Walt Disney Pictures released Frozen in 2013, the film will again be eligible to receive the Academy “Oscar” Award for Best Picture, Best Animated Feature, Best Original Song, and Best Costumes for 2014.

This is not in any way intended as an insult to Mr. Peabody & Sherman, VeggieTales: Celery Night Fever, Big Lego 6 (or whatever it was called) or any other animated features that were released in 2014. It is simply an admission that none of those features has been able to displace Frozen at the forefront of our animated enjoyment.

So there you have it! Could Frozen be the first movie to ever with back-to-back Academy Awards? Can we, perhaps, dream of a “threepeat” for 2015? So long as you keep purchasing merchandise and allowing your children to alternate singing “Let It Go” and asking if you want to build something in the snow, anything can happen!

Cards Against Humanity Disney Expansion

December 16th, 2014

Warning: Today’s post is about a game that is not appropriate for children, isn’t right for families or the easily offended, and is definitely not safe for work. Do you fit into one of these categories? Yes? Then run away!

If you are one of today’s hip young people, then you may be familiar with Cards Against Humanity — a card game of dubious taste that is often played by groups of teens or college students when parents and other decent folks are not in the vicinity. In the past, the Cards Against Humanity company has released a couple of themed expansion packs for their game (including “Remembering the 1990s” and “Famous Genocides”). This year, just in time for Christmas, they have created a game expansion pack specifically targeted at Disney fans!

Cards Against Humanity is played with two kinds of cards — black and white. A player has a hand full of white cards that contain short phrases and tries to match them to black cards that contain sentences with one or more words missing. The Disney Expansion Pack of Cards Against Humanity contains 100 cards — 20 black and 80 white. For those of you who are curious about their contents but don’t want to purchase the expansion, we have reproduced its content here.

Black Cards

  • My favorite Disneyland attraction is the Hall of __________.
  • Rumor has it there’s __________ inside the Matterhorn.
  • Make Mine __________!
  • For your safety, remain seated with your seat belts fastened, keeping __________ inside the bobsled.
  • Captain EO? More like Captain __________.
  • __________ is a half-day attraction at best.
  • Is this haunted room actually __________?
  • Yo ho, yo ho, __________ for me!
  • Do you want to build __________?
  • Which would you choose: __________ or being stuck for an hour on __________?
  • What they need is an attraction based on __________.
  • How typical. __________ exits into __________.
  • They say “guest,” but what they mean is __________.
  • The Handsome Prince saved Snow White from death with __________.
  • The Three Cabilleros: Donald Duck, __________, and __________.
  • __________ is a wish your heart makes.
  • __________ is closed for refurbishment.
  • We spent all afternoon at __________’s lair on __________ Island.
  • We have 999 happy haunts, but there’s room for __________
  • Since when is __________ a Disney princess?

White Cards

  • Bambi’s mom
  • The frozen head of Walt Disney
  • Getting lost in a maze of utilidoors
  • Endlessly singing “Let It Go”
  • The tiki tiki tiki tiki tiki room
  • The ghost of the old lady that died in the Haunted Mansion
  • The happiest place on earth
  • Disney dollars
  • An enormous collection of theme park napkins
  • Hundreds of “it’s a small world” dolls
  • A churro
  • Renting a wheelchair you don’t need
  • A Disneyland character with its head off
  • Grim grinning ghosts
  • Gaston’s decorating
  • The original budget for California Adventure
  • Animatronic Abraham Lincoln
  • Walt Disney’s apartment
  • A magical day
  • Tinker Bell
  • Massive post-fireworks crowds
  • An abominable snowman named Harold
  • Your hands, arms, feet, and legs
  • A secret basketball court
  • Soap suds pretending to be snow
  • A novelty hat that you’re going to wear once and then stuff in a closet
  • Cruella de Ville’s tailor
  • Stroller parking
  • An emergency bathroom break
  • Imagineering
  • Fantasyland
  • Another damned hidden Mickey
  • The Dumbo queue
  • Fireworks
  • A child screaming its head off from overstimulation
  • A thematically related gift shop
  • Monorail Blue
  • A maniac in a motorized wheelchair
  • The Mine Train Through Nature’s Wonderland
  • Watching through a window as people make candy
  • Collectable pins
  • A Photopass photographer
  • Oswald the Lucky Rabbit
  • Corporate sponsorship
  • A protein spill
  • Flash photography
  • Singing pirates
  • Buzz Lightyear Astro Blasters
  • The Mexico pavilion
  • Overpriced crap
  • Making movies based on stories that are in the public domain
  • Aging Mouseketeers
  • Fanatical copyright lawyers
  • An unexpected soft opening
  • A commemorative window
  • A coonskin cap
  • Cartoons with racist subject matter
  • The Love Bug
  • Dinner at Club 33
  • The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh
  • Mr. Incredible
  • The Primeval World Diorama
  • A drawer full of old ticket books
  • Main Street, U.S.A.
  • The back side of water
  • Slue Foot Sue’s Golden Horseshoe Review
  • Splash Mountain
  • Four fingers
  • An Experimental Prototype Community of Tomorrow
  • Overpriced tickets
  • Michael Eisner
  • An expired FASTPASS
  • Spontaneously breaking into song
  • Whatever happened to Huey, Dewy, and Louie’s parents
  • Standing in line until your feet bleed
  • Peeing in the Knotts Berry Farm parking lot
  • Mickey Mouse
  • Pleasure Island
  • Indiana Jones’ gigantic ball
  • The wildest ride in the wilderness

By combining the cards, you can make some funny sentences. During playtesting, we came across a few we particularly enjoyed:

  • We have 999 happy haunts, but there’s room for the original budget for California Adventure.
  • Since when is the frozen head of Walt Disney a Disney princess?
  • Yo ho, yo ho, endlessly singing “Let It Go” for me!
  • Which would you choose: whatever happened to Huey, Dewy, and Louie’s parents or being stuck for an hour on Bambi’s mom?
  • They say “guest,” but what they mean is Disney dollars.

Even more combinations are possible when you mix the cards with those from the original game (which you need to own before purchasing the expansion). Here are the few we found that were inoffensive enough to publish:

  • I got 99 problems but a novelty hat that you’re going to wear once and then stuff in a closet ain’t one.
  • What ended my last relationship? Collectable pins
  • TSA guidelines now prohibit singing pirates on airplanes.
  • Hundreds of “it’s a small world” dolls. That’s how I want to die.
  • Overpriced crap is a slippery slope that leads to the Mexico pavilion.
  • Why am I so sticky? Soap suds pretending to be snow
  • A thematically related gift shop. It’s a trap!
  • Coming to Broadway this season, an abominable snowman named Harold: The Musical.
  • This is the way the world ends \ This is the way the world ends \ Not with a bang but with an expired FASTPASS.
  • A maniac in a motorized wheelchair + a child screaming its head off from overstimulation = the wildest ride in the wilderness.

Big Restroom 6

December 8th, 2014

Apologies in advance for the poor photo, but when you’re taking pictures in a restroom, you don’t always have all the time in the world. Anywho, we were mighty impressed with this subtle Big Hero 6 Baymax reference at the Grand Californian Hotel!

Baymax at the Grand Californian Hotel restroom

A secret message from Disney?

December 6th, 2014

Sometimes coincidences happen, but when a corporation as control-oriented as Disney is involved, true coincidences are few and far between. With that in mind, consider these facts:

  • Disneyland’s 60th anniversary is quickly approaching.
  • Yesterday was Walt Disney’s birthday.
  • Yesterday, Disneyland made a number announcements related to things that are “frozen” coming to the park.

Clearly they are hinting at something, and I’m sure all the true Disneyland fans out there can guess what it is.

Now if you’ll excuse us, we have to go out and corner the market on “Welcome Back Walt!” t-shirts.

That’s Not At Disneyland! The Series!

November 28th, 2014

Just in time for your post-Thanksgiving holiday shopping escapades, DisneyLies has made a completely revised edition of That’s Not At Disneyland! available, as well as two additional volumes! It’s like some kind of amazing not-Disney-endorsed holiday miracle!

That's Not At Disneyland! (revised)

Although similar to the original, That’s Not At Disneyland! (Revised!) has been extensively revised based on feedback from our fabulous readers. Changes include:

  • Almost twice as many pictures!
  • Almost no text!
  • Answers in the back!
  • A significantly lower cover price!
  • The word “Revised” added to the title!

That's Not At Disneyland, Too!!

Because we hope you can’t get enough of this stuff, we created a second volume — That’s Not At Disneyland, Too!! — just as crammed with photo-puzzle goodness

That's Not At Disneyland, Three!!!

At this point you’ve probably guessed that we just can’t stop making these things, and you’d be right! That’s Not At Disneyland, Three!!! has all the picture-mangled joy you’ve come to expect if you purchased the first two volumes (which we sincerely hope you have), including the scandalous “Pantless Dentist” sign!

A pardon from Mayor Mickey

November 26th, 2014

Today, in the traditional pre-Thanksgiving ceremony, Toontown mayor Mickey Mouse officially pardoned one outdoor vending cart full of turkey legs.

Said Mickey, “It is a little puzzling that I do this every year, but I will say that I enjoy it, because with all the tough stuff that rolls around in Toontown, it’s nice once in a while just to say, ‘Happy Thanksgiving’ and this is a great excuse to do it. Tomorrow is a special moment where we give thanks for people we love and where we’re mindful of all the magical things that have happened in the past year.”

The cart full of turkey legs, each weighing about a pound and a half, was then made Grand Marshal of the Christmas Fantasy parade before being sent to spend the remainder of its existence on an enormous vending-cart retirement farm in Leesburg, Virginia.

Dealing with rain at Disneyland

November 20th, 2014

Winter is upon us, so we at DisneyLies thought this would be as good a time as any to post our tips for how to deal with Southern California rain when visiting Disneyland. If you happen to find yourself at Disneyland and it begins to rain, here’s what you need to do:

  1. Find a sheltered spot, take out your cell phone, and use a map application to see your precise current location. If you are in a Disney park and it is raining, you’re probably actually in Florida.
  2. If you are a Southern California native traveling with small children, go to a calm, quiet, friendly seeming place where you can explain to your children what rain is and why they should not be afraid of it. Maybe you can tell them Uncle Walt is taking a shower in Heaven or something.
  3. Get a large plastic popcorn bucket, make sure it’s completely empty, and catch as much rain as you possibly can. You can sell the collected rainwater to local farmers for big bucks.
  4. Buy a plastic poncho (many Disneyland stores will have them in a pile in a cabinet somewhere, possibly covered with dust). Use the poncho to wrap your cell phone, ipod, Google Glass, camera, fitbit, electronic game system, etc., so it isn’t destroyed.
  5. After your get home, tell all your friends that it rained once so California’s drought is finally over!

Special Passholder Event

November 19th, 2014

Last night, Disneyland held a special event for selected annual passholders. Those lucky enough to receive an invitation were able to visit the park from 8 a.m. to midnight, after normal operating hours. Special treats for this event included:

  • The opportunity to feel superior to “normal” guests who had to leave the park 4 hours before you did.
  • The opportunity to feel horrible guilt as hordes of very young “normal” guests cry because they don’t understand why they have to leave when all these other people get to stay.
  • Near continual performance of Main Street’s famous “soap suds for snow” presentation, making it the go-to spot for guests who wanted a free shampoo or stroller wash.
  • A special performance of Fantasmic! (marred only by the fact that the dragon was being refurbished and had to perform without a head, the Mark Twain’s performance was carried out completely from its static position in dry dock, and Micky Mouse was sick* so his part was played by Big Al).
  • Many unusual characters were available to take photos with guests, such as Robin Hood, Baloo, and Cynthia Harris.
  • As a special treat, Photopass photographers were available and guests could download electronic versions of any photos taken at the party from the Photopass website without having to pay a shipping fee.
  • At the end of the evening, all guests were given a Christmas tree ornament tastefully plastered with advertisements for upcoming ABC holiday specials.

*Mickey Mouse is currently not appearing at Disneyland because he has the flu. Apparently, he did not get a flu shot because Daisy has convinced Minnie that it will give him Mouskeautism.

Actual True Post: Disheard

November 12th, 2014

DisneyLies.com has a new sister website — Disheard, your source for other people’s conversations and correspondence about all things Disney!

Disheard collects conversations overheard at Disney parks, as well as conversations related to anything Disney (movies, books, toys, etc.), no matter where they took place. It also collects actual postcards from people who visited the parks or had something to say about them.

If you have heard an entertaining conversation on Disney property or about something Disney related, now’s your chance to share it with the world! Use the Disheard submission form to send it in, and you may see it published online for the entertainment of Disney fans everywhere! (Real conversations only, please. It’s okay if you don’t remember the exact words, but no fair embellishing or making things up.)