Archive for the ‘WDW’ Category

A Perfect Storm — of Fun!

Friday, February 22nd, 2008

Epcot’s Innovations will soon be home to a new exhibit, StormStruck: A Tale of Two Homes’ Utter Destruction. This exhibit will show families in a graphic, realistic way just how easily their home can be destroyed by a hurricane, tornado, flood, fire, volcano, meteor, sinkhole, riot, broken gas main, out-of-control propane delivery truck, airplane crash, accidental industrial poison gas release, atomic power plant misadventure, lightning strike, zombie attack, quantum fluctuation, fit of parental psychosis, nuclear first strike, radon leak, or plague of reptiles/insects (among other things). But in Disney tradition the attraction’s serious message will be tempered with fun!

“It’s going to be a great time for everyone,” says Disney spokesperson Amy “Not a Real Spokesperson” Fakesalot. “We’re going to make kids wish their home could be destroyed!”

The StormStruck exhibit will be completely funded by FEMA, which, to date, has not sent Disney the promised funds and is apparently not even aware that the exhibit is under construction.

American Idol, Live!

Wednesday, February 20th, 2008

Later this year, a live version of the popular American Idol show will open at Disney Hollywood Studios, giving park guests a chance to be laughed at and criticized in a way they never could at some simple Pleasure Island karoke-night event. Guests will be able to try out for the opportunity to perform in front of C-list celebrity judges and an audience of other guests (who will be able to vote for their favorites via text message for just $1 — or $2 if they are on the Disney dining plan). The day’s winners will gather for an evening Grand Prize competition, with the big winner receiving a ticket for a place standing in a line outside the studio where the real American Idol is filmed so they can beg passing executives and celebrities for a chance to audition.

Wendy Predicts: FSM at WDW

Friday, February 8th, 2008

According to Wendy the Disney Psychic’s latest Mickey Mouse tarot card reading, later this year the Walt Disney Company will obtain the rights to that pop-culture phenomenon, the Flying Spaghetti Monster. An announcement will be made in the third quarter regarding the acquisition, along with art showing a planned FSM area at Disney’s Animal Kingdom. The new area will feature a themed restaurant, a no-denominational temple, and a meet-and-greet area where guests of all ages can come to be “touched by his noodley appendage.”

Animal Kingdom Anniversary

Thursday, January 24th, 2008

Disney’s Animal Kingdom will celebrate its 10th Anniversary on April 22nd of this year. In keeping with the park’s theme, it won’t be guests but rather the parks animals that get to celebrate their first decade of captivity. Animals will receive a special birthday edible treat, and every creature — from the tallest giraffe to the nakedest mole rat — will sport a festive party hat (which will be quickly replaced if eaten).

Fuel for Tomorrow

Thursday, January 17th, 2008

Walt Disney World’s Magic Kingdom’s Tomorrowland Indy Speedway’s vehicles’ engines’ fuel has been going through some experimental changes of late. Imagineers have been testing a number of vehicle prototypes for possible future use in the attraction, including vehicles that run on ethanol (from plants grown in Epcot’s The Land pavilion), electricity (generated by the movement of guests in the attraction queue), and natural gas (from the WDW stables).

According to reports, initial tests have been successful. But, surprisingly, guests overall preferred the nitrous-oxide-powered vehicle to any of the more energy-conserving vehicles. Who knew?

Victoria & Albert’s Sans Boys & Girls

Tuesday, January 8th, 2008

Effective January 1, Victoria & Albert’s restaurant — the only AAA+ five-diamond platinum tiara bonus gold state-fair-first-prize-winning restaurant on Walt Disney World property — no longer allows guests under the age of 10 within its gold-encrusted doors. The new policy was put in place to stop the increasingly popular practice of using the restaurant as a substitute for hotel child-care services, many of which are booked up months in advance.

“It was just too much trouble,” says Victoria Alberts, restaurant spokesperson. “Parents knew that dinner here lasts two or three hours, so they’d put Billy in a suit or throw a gown on Jane and drop them off at the restaurant so the parents could have time alone together. Dinner might cost $150, but have you seen the cost of a good sitter these days? And for an extra $50, parents could get wine parings with their kids’ meals, insuring that they’ll sleep through the night. For some vacationing parents, it was a real bargain.”

When asked what parents should do if they can’t find a sitter for their child on vacation, Alberts suggested, “They should just put their kid on a monorail or WDW bus and let them ride in circles for a few hours like everyone else does.”

Block Party Bash on the Move!

Monday, January 7th, 2008

Sunday was the last day for Disney’s Block Party Bash at California Adventure. The gigantic “party on the movie” hit the road today, and will be dancing and singing its way across America to Disney’s Hollywood Studios in Florida. Performance stops will be made every half hour during the 2,500+ mile trek, so drivers on Interstate 10 can expect significant traffic congestion for the next few weeks.

After making the journey, cast members will be given two days off to rest and receive whatever treatment is necessary for exhaustion before beginning daily performances.

End-of-the-World Bonus!

Wednesday, January 2nd, 2008

According to the Earth Is Doomed Web site, the world will end tomorrow. In honor of the occasion, Disney will be offering a $5 discount on multi-day park-hopper tickets. Enjoy!

Goodbye, Disney/MGM!

Monday, December 31st, 2007

Today marked the official final day of Disney/MGM Studios existence. To celebrate the occasion, the park’s maintenance department called a press conference and — with great ceremony and accompanied by fireworks — blew up the entire park.

Apparently this was a mistake and the park was not scheduled for demolition. “We were just going to change the name,” said a member of park management on condition that she not be quoted. “We weren’t going to close. I guess we can rebuild, but it might take a while. The place was due for some freshening up anyway.”

Plans are to open the park as usual tomorrow with warning cones around craters and smoldering rubble, and what shows and attractions that can be salvaged presented on the remaining street or in tents.

WALL-E Comes to Tomorrowland

Friday, December 28th, 2007

In anticipation of the success of next year’s Pixar feature WALL-E, the film’s title character is being given a home in Walt Disney World’s Magic Kingdom. At the end of the first quarter of 2008, WDW guests will be able to see a fifth-generation animatronic WALL-E in Tomorrowland Carousel of Progress.

The WALL-E (whose name we’re already tired of typing, what with all the caps) will replace replacing the family dog in all scenes. WALL-E’s technology will be in keeping with the time of each scene, beginning with a “steampunk” robot, moving to a version created with vacuum tubes, then to a smaller “transistorized” creature, and ending with a nano-technology robot that is so small the audience won’t even be able to see it.