Archive for the ‘WDW’ Category

Animal Kingdom Anniversary

Thursday, January 24th, 2008

Disney’s Animal Kingdom will celebrate its 10th Anniversary on April 22nd of this year. In keeping with the park’s theme, it won’t be guests but rather the parks animals that get to celebrate their first decade of captivity. Animals will receive a special birthday edible treat, and every creature — from the tallest giraffe to the nakedest mole rat — will sport a festive party hat (which will be quickly replaced if eaten).

Fuel for Tomorrow

Thursday, January 17th, 2008

Walt Disney World’s Magic Kingdom’s Tomorrowland Indy Speedway’s vehicles’ engines’ fuel has been going through some experimental changes of late. Imagineers have been testing a number of vehicle prototypes for possible future use in the attraction, including vehicles that run on ethanol (from plants grown in Epcot’s The Land pavilion), electricity (generated by the movement of guests in the attraction queue), and natural gas (from the WDW stables).

According to reports, initial tests have been successful. But, surprisingly, guests overall preferred the nitrous-oxide-powered vehicle to any of the more energy-conserving vehicles. Who knew?

Victoria & Albert’s Sans Boys & Girls

Tuesday, January 8th, 2008

Effective January 1, Victoria & Albert’s restaurant — the only AAA+ five-diamond platinum tiara bonus gold state-fair-first-prize-winning restaurant on Walt Disney World property — no longer allows guests under the age of 10 within its gold-encrusted doors. The new policy was put in place to stop the increasingly popular practice of using the restaurant as a substitute for hotel child-care services, many of which are booked up months in advance.

“It was just too much trouble,” says Victoria Alberts, restaurant spokesperson. “Parents knew that dinner here lasts two or three hours, so they’d put Billy in a suit or throw a gown on Jane and drop them off at the restaurant so the parents could have time alone together. Dinner might cost $150, but have you seen the cost of a good sitter these days? And for an extra $50, parents could get wine parings with their kids’ meals, insuring that they’ll sleep through the night. For some vacationing parents, it was a real bargain.”

When asked what parents should do if they can’t find a sitter for their child on vacation, Alberts suggested, “They should just put their kid on a monorail or WDW bus and let them ride in circles for a few hours like everyone else does.”

Block Party Bash on the Move!

Monday, January 7th, 2008

Sunday was the last day for Disney’s Block Party Bash at California Adventure. The gigantic “party on the movie” hit the road today, and will be dancing and singing its way across America to Disney’s Hollywood Studios in Florida. Performance stops will be made every half hour during the 2,500+ mile trek, so drivers on Interstate 10 can expect significant traffic congestion for the next few weeks.

After making the journey, cast members will be given two days off to rest and receive whatever treatment is necessary for exhaustion before beginning daily performances.

End-of-the-World Bonus!

Wednesday, January 2nd, 2008

According to the Earth Is Doomed Web site, the world will end tomorrow. In honor of the occasion, Disney will be offering a $5 discount on multi-day park-hopper tickets. Enjoy!

Goodbye, Disney/MGM!

Monday, December 31st, 2007

Today marked the official final day of Disney/MGM Studios existence. To celebrate the occasion, the park’s maintenance department called a press conference and — with great ceremony and accompanied by fireworks — blew up the entire park.

Apparently this was a mistake and the park was not scheduled for demolition. “We were just going to change the name,” said a member of park management on condition that she not be quoted. “We weren’t going to close. I guess we can rebuild, but it might take a while. The place was due for some freshening up anyway.”

Plans are to open the park as usual tomorrow with warning cones around craters and smoldering rubble, and what shows and attractions that can be salvaged presented on the remaining street or in tents.

WALL-E Comes to Tomorrowland

Friday, December 28th, 2007

In anticipation of the success of next year’s Pixar feature WALL-E, the film’s title character is being given a home in Walt Disney World’s Magic Kingdom. At the end of the first quarter of 2008, WDW guests will be able to see a fifth-generation animatronic WALL-E in Tomorrowland Carousel of Progress.

The WALL-E (whose name we’re already tired of typing, what with all the caps) will replace replacing the family dog in all scenes. WALL-E’s technology will be in keeping with the time of each scene, beginning with a “steampunk” robot, moving to a version created with vacuum tubes, then to a smaller “transistorized” creature, and ending with a nano-technology robot that is so small the audience won’t even be able to see it.

Toys for Tots

Monday, December 24th, 2007

This year, Walt Disney World employees donated more than 23,000 toys to the annual Toys for Tots charity drive, and this year more of the toys were purchased (rather than taken from park overstock or lost and found) than ever before. Unfortunately, due to a bit of miscommunication, all the toys were delivered to Mr. Jacob Tots in Miami who, although he says he appreciates the thought, plans to have a very large garage sale just after the new year.

T-Rex Stalled!

Friday, December 14th, 2007

Construction of the T-Rex restaurant in Downtown Disney has been halted indefinitely. Apparently, while digging the building’s new foundation, workers discovered a mineral pocket rich with fossilized trilobites. A Disney Archaeological Society cast member quickly identified them as new species and, under Florida law, ordered the dig site closed until the valuable fossils could be removed.

The opening of T-Rex will be delayed by at least a year. Said a Disney spokesperson of the delay, “Well, that’s ironic, isn’t it?” To which another spokesperson responded, “No, it’s just funny. You’re misusing ‘ironic’ again.” To which the first spokesperson responded, “Shut up, Howard.”

Major Bust on WDW Property

Thursday, December 13th, 2007

Walt Disney World is located in Florida’s Weedy Creek Development District, a county completely owned and operated by the Walt Disney Company. This allows the company to pass laws that will be beneficial to its guests (such as the ban on the sale of thong bathing suits to very large men) and its corporate interests (e.g., the death penalty for unauthorized DVD duplication). It also empowers the company to maintain its own police force, and yesterday the WDWPD raided a room at the All Star Movies hotel and made their largest bust to date.

As everyone knows, sale and possession of chewing gum is not allowed on WDW property, but Johan Wrigley and three coconspirators (Lester “Chews” Kent, Eddie “Stretch” Sanford, and Amanda “Double Bubble” Irvine) were found with twelve full and partial packs of the stuff in their room — more than enough to show intent to distribute. Gum was found in stick (or “line”), ball (or “goofball”), and chicklet (or “rock”) form, and several packs were bubble gum (known as “blow” on the streets).

Officer Adele Buster — who recently gained fame for righteously ejecting guests from Disney property at 2 a.m. because their kid knew a kid who was in a fight when they weren’t there — headed the raid. “These predators had it coming,” said Buster. “They say they only had the stuff for personal use, but we found lots of cash in their room and that’s clear evidence that they’ve been selling. Who brings piles of cash on vacation? They’re just thinking of themselves and not of the kids who get their hands on this stuff, chew it, and next thing you know it’s not just in their mouth, it’s in their hair or on their shoe or the shoe of a complete stranger. Gum is a gateway to all kinds of evil. Maybe these dealers will change their ways, maybe we’ll get through to them, maybe this will be a wakeup call — and not one of those cool recorded wakeup calls from Mickey Mouse. In any case, two hours in WDW detention will give them something to chew on.”