We won’t be posting while we are gone, but hope to return with many interesting (sic.) and important (double sic.) WDW tips. In the meantime, please reply to this post with detailed descriptions of any Disney events that didn’t actually happen while we were gone. We appreciate the assistance!

But what people aren’t talking about is the copious product placement in the film. “It’s the first time that Pixar has really sold out,” says self-aggrandizing film historian and delusional semi-psychopath Fred Friedskul. “You’ll see products from A1 Fire Extinguishers, the BnL corporation, and Thinkway Toys. But even more blatant is that blatant blatancy of the product placement for the new remastered DVD release of Hello, Dolly! Seriously, has Barbra Streisand sunk so low that she has to to advertise her movies in kids features? As if the Yentl references during that Shrek III vomit scene weren’t bad enough. You wouldn’t catch Carol Channing doing this kind of garbage, which is why the fact that she’s the voice for Wall*E’s ship’s computer all the more ironic.”

Even so, we’re betting it’ll be the best Disney movie with a main character who’s a cockroach since Mickey’s Metamorphosis!

Unfortunately, just a few days after this news was released, Disney announced that it would be firing a significant number of its animatronics-department staff. This marks an end to Disney’s tradition of developing lifelike figures in-house or (in recent years) of outsourcing much of its animatronics work but not telling anyone. The released staffers will be replaced by specially programmed, completely autonomous Wall*E-style robots.

Do you see the blue figure toward the right of the photo? Well, that’s not an animatronic pirate — it’s a glowing creature from beyond the veil of death!!! (or perhaps a wandering cast member.)

So far, there is no possibly worldly explanation for the appearance of this figure. Those of you who think you have ready explanations are clearly, obviously misunderstanding what the phrase “no possible explanation” means.

Certainly this puts to rest any doubts about whether or not Disneyland’s Pirates of the Caribbean attraction is haunted. But why is it haunted? Are the spirits of the copious workers killed during its construction angered by the insertion of Pirate-movie characters into their previously relatively non-commercial realm? Do they return from the realm of death to torture those who take flash pictures? Or does this lonely phantom simply “wants the redhead”? Who knows?????