Disney Lies

Our Official DisneyLies Photo Correspondent reports that the new ectoplasmic filter on her camera has one again produced startling results! Look carefully in the below photo:

Do you see the blue figure toward the right of the photo? Well, that’s not an animatronic pirate — it’s a glowing creature from beyond the veil of death!!! (or perhaps a wandering cast member.)

So far, there is no possibly worldly explanation for the appearance of this figure. Those of you who think you have ready explanations are clearly, obviously misunderstanding what the phrase “no possible explanation” means.

Certainly this puts to rest any doubts about whether or not Disneyland’s Pirates of the Caribbean attraction is haunted. But why is it haunted? Are the spirits of the copious workers killed during its construction angered by the insertion of Pirate-movie characters into their previously relatively non-commercial realm? Do they return from the realm of death to torture those who take flash pictures? Or does this lonely phantom simply “wants the redhead”? Who knows?????

Joining the difficult-to-get-into fort, here’s another sign that there is still quite a bit of work to be done on Pirate’s Lare on Tom Sawyer Island. Apparently there is a shortage of space in Disneyland’s back-stage areas, because one of the island’s old caves is being used for storage of old props and other “junk.”

The cave is technically off limits, but to the adventurous Disney fan it is quite a treasure trove! Before she were ejected from the park and charged with felony trespassing, our Official DisneyLies Photo Correspondent saw a Rocket Rod, quite a few freshly removed “it’s a small world” figures, and two thirds of Abe Lincoln.

Our Official Disney Lies Photo Correspondent has spotted yet another Hidden Lincoln at Disneyland! This one is in the Jungle Cruise attraction. Near the end of the ride, you can just make out one fish that is dressed like Honest Abe?

Remember, if you see a Hidden Lincoln at Disneyland, send us a photo!

During her last visit, our Official DisneyLies Photo Correspondent noticed that there has been a change to Disneyland’s Partners statue. Apparently, the figure of Walt is now holding some kind of brochure or pamphlet.

She was unable to get close enough to tell exactly what it was, but apparently it had to do with some kind of “best kept secret” that Disney is keeping under wraps. Well, they must be doing a pretty darned good job of keeping it secret, because we at DisneyLies sure haven’t heard anything about it!

We will look into this further and let you know when we have more information.

A new “What’s in Your Head” exhibit in Disneyland’s Innoventions performs real-time full-skull scans of guests. The scans are displayed on a screen, along with tentative diagnosis from a fully automated computerized medical expert system. It is hoped that, in the future, everyone’s medical needs will be met by hyper-accurate unattended medical examination devices at Disney theme parks.

(Much thanks to our Official DisneyLies Photo Correspondent for this photo of her own scan!)

Last month we reported on complaints that certain Disney characters weren’t keeping their performances up to date, and used a photograph of Chip as an example. Word has come to us through certain back-alley sources that the usually jolly chimpmunk has taken recent criticism quite hard. This rumor is supported by a photograph our Official DisneyLies Photo Correspondent happened to snap only yesterday of Chip surprising guests by wandering out from back stage in what can only be referred to as “not show ready” condition.

Poor Chip!

Tragedy struck on Disneyland’s Main Street today as a rogue driver — apparently lost on his way to the parking structure — ran down a pair of British nationals on holiday. The driver was not identified and the car did not stop, but our Official DisneyLies Photographer happened to snap this picture a split second before the impact:

The man and woman were immediately taken to Tinker Bell Memorial Hospital. The man suffered minor injuries to his kite-flying hand and a bad break in his knee means he may never be able to perform as a one-man band again. The woman, although she was at the center of the accident, was judged to be practically perfect in every way and released the same afternoon.

As part of the new House of the Future exhibit in Innoventions, a number of high-tech and speculative vehicles will be on display in the Garage of Tomorrow. Our Official DisneyLies Photo Correspondent happened to catch a glimpse of one of those vehicles — the Honda Hovercycle — as it was being installed.

I hope they’ll let guests take it for a spin!

The Petersen Automotive Museum in Los Angeles (a city in California) is currently hosting an exhibit of items related to the Pixar film Cars.

We were rather disappointed in the displays. Many of them were framed artwork that was supposedly from the movie, but everyone knows that Cars was computer animated so there was no hand-drawn art. How dumb do they think we are. There were also some little statues of the characters, but the film wasn’t claymantion either. Very, very deceptive.

One nice feature of the exhibit was a gallery of full-size Cars characters in costumes as if they were in different Disney films. Below is a photo of Lightning McQueen in Pirates garb. Also present were Mater, dressed as Winnie the Pooh, and Doc Hudson as Tinker Bell.

There is, unfortunately, a long tradition of vandalizing the statue of Mr. Toad inside Disneyland’s Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride. Frequent visitors will remember a time when the statue’s right hand was held in front of its face with a haughty gesture of satisfaction at his living arrangements. But after years of guests putting their chewed gum on the hand, it eventually collapsed beneath the weight, leaving poor Mr. Toad a limb shy of a quartet.

Just last week, Toad vandalism reached new heights when a guest released several dozen wild poison dart frogs into the attraction (see the Official DisneyLies Photographer’s official DisneyLies photograph below). Only a few guests were poisoned — hardy any of them fatally — and, more importantly, Disney’s Animal Control Department was able to round up most of the critters before serious damage was done to the attraction.

But the long-term effects of this prank are still to be realized. Apparently, a few survived and now animal-rights groups are petitioning to have Disneyland declared a poison dart toad wetland preserve. Since these are now the only wild frogs of their type in southern California, consensus is that they may win when they have their day in court. Should that come to pass, Disneyland guests may find their activities severely curtailed as the endangered frogs will be given right of way at all times. It is not clear what effect this will have on already-crowded Dumbo and Peter Pan queues.