Archive for the ‘Other’ Category

Writers’ Strike is Over!

Wednesday, February 13th, 2008

It appears that the Hollywood writers’ strike is over — thanks, in part, to occasional quips to the media from former Disney head muckmaker Michael Eisner (or so says his publicist).

This will mean that many Disney Channel and ABC television shows can go back into production as soon as currently destitute production staff can be gathered, with hopes that many shows can be put “in the can” before the actors’ strike anticipated for later this year (to be followed by director, producer, key grip, best boy, animated character, foley, and craft services strikes, in that order, at five or six month intervals).

“The first order of business,” says alleged Disney spokesperson Sylvia Liesalot, “will be to get back to work on dozens and dozens of High School Musical sequels, remakes, and spin offs. There’s even going to be a retro reworking of the whole original HSM starring the original Mousketeers, or at least the surviving ones. And we’re going to try and work musical teenagers into other shows, like Lost and especially Desperate Housewives. After the strike, the writers must have piles of pent-up creativity, and we’re going to use as much of it as we can before they realize what a farce their new contract really is. Ha — just kidding on that one!”

Annie Leibovitz Again

Thursday, January 31st, 2008

Once again, Annie Leibovitz had photographically recreated three scenes from classic Disney animation using famous people as models. This set includes scenes from Aladdin (with Geri “Ginger Spice” Halliwell and as Jasmine, David Bowie as Aladdin, and Shaquille O’Neal as Genie), Peter Pan (with the late Dave Thomas as Wendy, Elton John as Tinkerbell, and Michael Jackson as Peter), and Pocahontas (with Pokémon in the title role).

This set of photos is being released much earlier than originally anticipated, largely because of growing controversy over Leibovitz photographic technique. Apparently, rumors are circulating that Photoshop or some kind of darkroom techniques are being used, and that they are not exactly as they appear in life (as Leibovitz swears on her mother-in-law’s life and a stack of what are apparently Bibles they are)

Delete Your MySpace Account Day

Wednesday, January 30th, 2008

As January 30th is International Delete Your MySpace Account Day, Disney would like to remind you that today would be a great time to create a Virtual Magic Kingdom account (if you don’t already have one, which you should). International Delete Your Virtual Magic Kingdom Account Day isn’t until some time in November, so you’ll have plenty of time to enjoy your new pastime.

Little Mermaid on Broadway

Tuesday, January 15th, 2008

Disney’s The Little Mermaid musical premiered on Broadway last week, pleasing much of the crowd, but causing concern in those who did not realize that the theater would be filled with water.

The new production differs from the film version in a number of ways. For example, the actors are real people, and not just drawings of real people. Also, there are a dozen new songs by Alan Menken and Glenn Slater — creators of such musical triumphs as the music you hear in the background during some Disney Channel commercials. These new songs include Ariel’s “Wish I Had Feet to Put Shoes on,” Ursula and King Triton’s rollicking duet, “Gonna Punch You Inna Face,” and a clever scat number by Prince Eric’s dog.

Unfortunately, critics did not review the shows premier well. New York Times critic Pan Loudly called the show, “A soggy concoction with all the life of a filleted flounder.” The New York Post’s Bornina Barnes complained, “Like bad sushi, the show is raw, ugly, and potentially fatal.” USA Today did not have a review as such, but summed up other papers’ reviews in a colorful pie chart.

Mickey Contacts

Thursday, January 3rd, 2008

Mickey Mouse contact lensesDisney’s new line of Mickey Mouse eyewear includes these cool Mickey Mouse contact lenses (click the picture for a better view). Originally sold in Japan, they are expected to be a big hit with American teenagers, particularly those who follow the “goth” culture. The only drawback for those wearing the lenses (aside from the difficulty of having to stick a little picture of a mouse in your eye) is that only Mickey’s nose is transparent, so wearers end up with a pretty severe case of tunnel vision (known as “mousekavision”).

If these prove popular, the line of contacts will be expanded to include images of Minnie Mouse, Donald Duck, Malefacent, Chernabog, the magic mirror, and Michael Eisner.

Disney in the Rose Parade

Tuesday, January 1st, 2008

Disney has been a long-time participant in the annual Tournament of Roses parade, which features floats, marching bands, and equestrian units completely fashioned from flowers. Fans will surely remember such past Disney entries as the Tower of Terror float (a fully functional attraction complete with a two-block-long rose-covered queue), and the Disney/MGM Studios float (which controversially featured a Wizard of OZ scene in which a house fell on Michael Eisner).

This year’s entry — Disney’s Ninja Float — surprised everyone, both because it seemed to have nothing to do with the 2008 Tournament theme (“Passport to the World’s Corporations”) and because it operated in full ninja stealth mode for its entire run. Although the float was not seen, it certainly left its mark. The Knotts Berry Farms and Dreamworks floats were both fatally wounded before the parade even started, the NBC float, working through severe injuries, barely make it through the performance, and the city of Anaheim’s float had its affordable-parade-viewing section burned to the ground.

Happy Holidays!

Tuesday, December 25th, 2007

In honor of the holiday, Disney has decided to let all it’s employees spend the day with their families. All parks are closed. If you are currently staying in a Disney hotel, please be sure to make your own bed (guests at deluxe resorts should also leave a chocolate coin on their own pillow).

Merry Christmas!

Adventures by Disney Tour Canceled

Thursday, December 13th, 2007

Adventures by Disney has canceled all of its”Coasting the Golden State” tour packages for 2008. Apparently not enough people were willing to fork over $3,000 to spend a week visiting Disney’s California Adventure. Although the company isn’t making any definitive statements, it is anticipated that tour will not return and will instead be mothballed like Adventures by Disney’s former “In Eisner’s Footsteps” and “Wonders of Burbank” tours.

Pardon our Turkeys

Monday, November 19th, 2007

Per tradition, President George “W.” Bush will pardon a pair of turkey this week, exempting them from execution for another year. (Readers outside the U.S. may not be aware that turkeys are killed and eaten only when they have been accused and convicted of crimes against humanity — that’s why only a Presidential pardon is necessary to spare one of the birds).

A couple of years ago, folks at Disneyland realized that it would be neat to invite the pardoned fowl to stay at the park, living out the balance of their lives in the same comfort extended to all cast members. The promotion was so successful that executives at Walt Disney World said that they would like the turkeys sent there in future years, but Disneyland put its foot down — the idea came from California, it would stay in California, and nobody was going to tell them otherwise, no matter how much bigger their resort was.

The turkeys will arrive in Walt Disney World later this week.

Hannah, Montana fan club suing

Tuesday, November 13th, 2007

Fans of the small town of Hannah, Montana filed suit today, angry that membership in the Official Hannah, Montana, Fan Club has not helped them get bus tickets to the town of which they are so fond. Apparently, fans of chipmunk-cheeked singer/actress Miley Cyrus have been scooping up bus tickets as fast as they can be produced, and those that are not purchased by fans are being grabbed by scalpers who demand hundreds of times face value for the chance to take a greasy bus to a town few people even know exists. Nobody knows why this is happening.

“It’s one-a them thar Innernet fee-nomenas,” said whoever it was that answered the phone when we called. “Gol darned if I canna ‘splain it.”

The entire membership of the fan club (some 18 individuals, outnumbering the population of the town they love by some 25%) is part of this class-action suit. “We just want to be there for the canning festival,” said one. “Is that so much to ask?”