We learned quite a bit about how the Magic Kingdom prepares before opening. We photographically captured one highlight –

– the daily “arrival of the stilt workers.” It was truly spectacular!

Signs were placed outside the Magic Kingdom after closing explaining that the park was being shuttered, and ever-efficient Disney maintenance crews spent the night dismantling the park and preparing it for storage. By the time the mistake was discovered (at around 6:30 a.m. this morning), Adventureland, Liberty Square, and about half of Frontierland had been boxed, labeled, and prepared for shipping. Tom Sawyer Island had already been returned to its natural swampy condition, and the Country Bears were running wild in the absence of county animal-control officers.

“We were pretty embarrassed about the whole situation,” said Magic Kingdom spokesperson Beaufort “Clueless” Hamhead. “We think we can get the whole thing back together in a couple of weeks, and we’re already sending nice notes of apology to all the people we sacked, especially the ones we inadvertently put in crates instead of sending home.”

What changes? To make sure that we are not accidentally spreading substantiated rumors, we’ll let Managio Blunder — supposed Disney Director of Imagination Marketing — speak for himself: “The changes to the Hall of Presidents really aren’t anything to get excited about. We have been planning to plus the attraction for years, and when we noticed that a lot of materials were being created for Hong Kong Disneyland, we just decided to make an extra set that could be used to plus our attraction. So all we’re doing is adding Disney characters in a few key areas — Mickey advising George Washington, Stitch rooting around in Lincoln’s pants, that kind of thing — which our surveys show is what guests want. They want more characters. We’ll also be removing some of the less popular presidents and replacing them with leaders of other countries — such as France, Japan, and China — in the name of diversity. Oh, and we’re replacing that sappy opening speech with Disney Channel ads. Really, there’s no reason to get all worked up.”

Recently, the family of Disney Legend Blaine Gibson wrote to the Walt Disney Company, threatening mass suicide if the changes went through. Disney responded that they believed the changes were in keeping with the attraction’s original intent, “to delight guests with the great leaders of history.”

Because Warren G. Harding is one of the presidential figures scheduled for replacement, a group protesting the changes has gathered under the banner, “Stop the War on Harding.” They have set up a Web site, are gathering e-signatures, and promise to “keep bugging Disney until they get a clue.”

We’ll keep you posted as events develop!

While we're on the subject, tickets are still available for the annual Night of Darkness Anti-Christian-music event at the Magic Kingdom, beginning June 6 at 6:66 p.m. Ozzy Osbourne, Marilyn Manson, and the reunited Osmond brothers will perform.

At Walt Disney World's Magic Kingdom, "Dali" will appear at the very beginning of the cave section, "so as not to interfere with anything further into the attraction." Of course, this completely avoids the question of whether having this figure in the attraction makes sense at all.

So far as we were concerned, adding the Dali Lama to a Caribbean-themed pirate attraction made little sense, and we wondered what the heck Imagineering was thinking. After investigating this further, we discovered that, during a late-night telephone conversation, John Lasseter misunderstood a poorly pronounced "Tia Dalma," and when his orders came down the next day for the addition of the Dali Lama figure, nobody had the guts to stand up and say he was completely insane.

Go figure.