City Hall is the managerial and administrative guest-facing nerve center of Disneyland. Many guests begin their day here so they can clear up an issue with tickets, because they want to know when and where a certain character can be found, or because they saw the line and thought it was a ride. Guests who think that they should not be made to wait in lines or stopped from cutting in line in front of other guests and should be given a free motorized wheelchair and a private tour guide because they are particularly susceptible to hangnails and other insurmountable physical trauma are also welcome to plead their case at City Hall while crippled children in wheelchairs and older guests who need a pass to help them navigate staircases patiently wait their turn.
Buttons are available at City Hall for guests who are celebrating a special occasion, with messages such as “Happy birthday,” “First visit,” “Family reunion,” “Recovering alcoholic,” “Newlyweds,” “Easily fooled and illiterate,” etc. Buttons commemorating memorable events that occurred in the park such as “Lost my first tooth,” “Just born,” “Possibly abandoned,” and “Was chloroformed in restroom by white slavers who dyed my hair, but Mom recognized my shoes” are also available at no charge. Note that some buttons that had been available at one time have been continued (in particular “Newly paroled,” “Just entered witness protection program,” and “Eisner-Katzenberg ’92″).
“Happy birthday” buttons are by far the most popular, and are available to any guest on one particular day each year (this day varies by guest; contact Disney guest services for details). A guest services cast member will happily write the birthday person’s name on their “Happy birthday” button, using the spelling of their choosing with the limits of good taste. After receiving the button, the lucky birthday boy/girl/fanatic/codger is directed to an ornate phone where he or she will receive a special birthday greeting from Goofy (or, on his day off or after hours, another Disney character such as Figaro, Dopey, or Abraham Lincoln). Guests wearing “Happy birthday” buttons may receive special treatment from cast members, such as birthday greetings, cake and ice cream on the Jungle Cruise, or an opportunity for their parents to purchase a Disney timeshare for a surprising buy-in charge and reasonable-ish annual fee.
City Hall is also the place to go if you lose a child, lose a parent, want to file an official complaint or compliment, or want to complain that you can’t lose your parents and they’re embarrassing you.
Coming up next: Main Street restrooms