Disney Lies

Happy Valentine’s Day to all our loyal DisneyLies Blog readers!

In celebration of this happy event, we have arranged a special promotion with the Disneyland Resort! Just approach any Resort ticket booth today during normal operating hours and say that you would like the “DisneyLies Valentine’s Day special.” You will then be able to purchase a two-park ticket for the price of a one-day park hopper! (Get it — it’s Valentine’s Day so you get two together, like a happy loving couple!) That’s a significant savings compared to the price of purchasing separate tickets for each park. Share the special with someone you love!

Enjoy! And be sure to write to us and tell us how you used all the money you saved!

As part of its strategy to build the resort feeling of its Anaheim properties, Disney is in negotiations with the city to build a transportation system that will link Disneyland Resort, Angles stadium, the Anaheim Convention Center, the new triffid-themed Gardenwalk project, and Disneyland’s soon-to-be-built third park (Disney’s Inland Tokyo Sea California).

There has been much speculation about what the transportation system will be, with monorails, peoplemovers, and modified “it’s a small world” ride vehicles being the most popular choices. But Chevy Impaala, our anonymous contact within Team Disney, says that none of these ideas are accurate.

“People are thinking correctly when they assume that something in the parks will be repurposed for the transportation system,” says Impaala. “But considering the large scale and expected usage numbers of the system, Disney has decided to stick with its greatest strength — the queue. One enormous queue will link all locations, efficiently moving guests from place to place. It’s simple, it’s inexpensive, and it uses tested technology. The initial rollout, planned for 2010, includes a FASTPASS system, so that, for example, those with tickets for Angels Stadium will be able to get a FASTPASS so that they arrive at the stadium before those who do not plan their day as carefully, but without having to stand around all day.”

The Walt Disney Company announced last week that $1 billion would be made available to add and improve infrastructure at Disney's California Adventure (sometimes referred to as "The Park that Guests Forgot"). The enormous size of this sum was, in part, due to Disney's desire to gain public support by refunding the money of anyone who purchased a full-price, one-day, one-park California Adventure ticket at any time since the park opened. Further research revealed that this would cost the company only some $40,000 (including the cost of hunting down the guests qualifying for refunds, most of whom are in foreign countries or institutions of some type). This leaves much more money available for park improvements than originally anticipated.

Improvements planned for California Adventure include a newly themed entrance, a more kinetic environment, new "e-ticket" attractions, and a systematic tearing down and rebuilding of the entire park one section at a time to make it the kind of place it should have been on opening day.

After hearing that the board had approved the $1 billion budget, John Lassiter — Poobah of Disney Imagineering — was heard to say, "That's all?"

Reader J.G. writes, “I think everyone should know that when people buy a brick in the plaza between DCA and DL, they can choose to have their ashes buried underneath it when they pass away.”

Unfortunately, J.G. has his facts slightly wrong. What guests can do is have a loved one’s ashes mixed with the cement used to create a commemorative brick. Disney doesn’t want to be in the business of prying up bricks and putting ashes under them every time a fanatical fan passes away — that’s just too labor intensive.

Disney is also unlikely to ever promise “post death” services again. They surely learned their lesson after the 2000-2001 “Cooler Heads” promotion in which annual passholders could purchase a slot in the cryogenic vault beneath Space Mountain for their head when the time comes. It was a paperwork disaster, and far too many guests showed up at the main gate with the upper part of a decapitated loved one in an ice chest, wanting to know where to put it.

Yesterday, the U.S. Olympic Committee’s evaluation committee began their two-day visit to investiage whether the Disneyland Resort will be the U.S. candidate to host the 2016 Summer Games. This would be the first time in the history of the Olympics that a private corporation — as opposed to a city — hosted the games.

Said Claudia Fabulosa, Disney Olympic press liason, “We have high hopes for a positive result from the evaluation committee’s visit. The Disneyland Resort is a wonderful, magical place, and by combining our magic with the magic of the Olympic games would truly create an ultra-magical synergy.”

Disneyland Resort boasts facilities that could easily be repurposed for the Summer Games. There are copious accommodations, plenty of dining establishments, numerous bodies of water for use in swimming competitions, and Disney’s California Adventure, which can be used to absorb crowds of people when other venues are full. A track and field stadium would need to be built, but Disney has already petitioned the city for permission to build such a stadium on land formerly earmarked for the building of low-income housing.

“We’re very serious about this,” said Fabulosa. “This isn’t something that Disney is taking lightly and we aren’t going to make fun of our Olympic heritage. There will be no discus throwing on Main Street, no marathons run on the PeopleMover track, and no fencing competitions in Pirates of the Caribbean. Well, maybe a little, but just for fun, not for medal contention.”