Disney Lies

Among Disneyland castmembers, there is a long-standing tradition of telling jokes about Nerf — a stereotypically foolish Disneyland employee. For your entertainment, we’ve collected a few of the more popular Nerf jokes here. Feel free to add any others you might know in the comments!

• Nerf is so dumb that he brings an umbrella to the Tiki Room.
• Nerf is so dumb that he describes Dumbo as “never the same ride twice!”
• Nerf is so dumb that he bought insurance so he could ride Autopia.
• Nerf is so dumb that he thinks it’s the actual Matterhorn.
• Nerf is so dumb that he thinks Tarzan’s Treehouse came after Tarzan’s Onehouse and Tarzan’s Twohouse.
• Nerf is so dumb that he thinks the name of Buzz Lightyear Astro Blasters is funny because it has “ass” in it.
• Nerf is so dumb that he thinks any guest in mouse ears is a hidden Mickey.
• Nerf is so dumb that he reports “pin traitors” to management.
• Nerf is so dumb that he keeps asking when the Skyway will be out of refurb.
• Nerf is so dumb that he thinks Splash Mountain was based on the movie Splash.
• Nerf is so dumb that he keeps asking if the subs have found Nemo yet.
• Nerf is so dumb that he doesn’t know where the name Disneyland came from.
• Nerf is so dumb that he thinks the 7 o’clock parade starts at 4:15.
• Nerf is so dumb that he wants to know what happened to the Casey Sr. circus train.
• Nerf is so dumb that he thinks the water in the Rivers of America is good for the environment because it’s “green.”
• Nerf is so dumb that he refers to the Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh’s exit as “the place where Pooh comes out.”
• Nerf is so dumb that he can’t remember the name of the song they play in “it’s a small world.”
• Nerf is so dumb that he uses two hands to point with two fingers.
• Nerf is so dumb that he thinks New Orleans Square is actually square.
• Nerf is so dumb that he thinks the Haunted Mansion is haunted, Toontown is a real town, and the Jungle Cruise is hilarious.
• Nerf is so dumb that he thinks Space Mountain only operates at night.
• Nerf is do dumb that he thinks Goofy is a face character.
• Nerf is so dumb that he asked Lincoln for an autograph.
• Nerf is so dumb that he invented “churro on a stick.”
• Nerf is so dumb that he claps his hands and stomps his feet along with “Two Brothers.”
• Nerf is so dumb that he has to stop the carrousel to ask for directions.