Take a close look at this poster, which can be seen in a scene passed by the Disneyland Railroad.
Coincidence? Subtle pro-President propaganda? Reference to obscure figure in Western history? Can anyone explain this? Could it be that we have located Disneyland’s first “hidden Obama?”
Disneyland has come a long way in recent years, and there have been many improvements, but there are still some things that need urgent attention but are somehow being ignored. For example, take a look at these cupcakes from Disneyland’s Main Street candy store. See the column of cakes second from the left? Now look at the far right at the row of cupcakes you can just make out reflected in the glass. Both of these rows feature cupcakes that do not have Mickey toppers. No problem there — or so you would think, until you realize that these two columns of thematically linked cakes are completely separated from each other by four columns of cupcakes with Mickey toppers!!!!
What the heck kind of grouping is that? Who’s in charge in this place? Are there no prisons? Are there no workhouses? It’s just a hop, skip, and a jump from anarchy!
Seriously, we want to hear from a cast member who can reassure us that not only has this hideous situation been rectified, but that policies have been put in place to prevent its reocurrance. If you have the authority to issue such a statement, please send it to us via certified mail or leave it in this post’s comments.
Along with the improvements to the river, Disneyland has rolled out new cast-member costumes for Pirate’s Lair on Tom Sawyer Island staff. The new pilot’s costume (seen at left) is woodsy, attractive, clean, and in keeping with the island’s rustic nature. The on-island staff (seen at right) has costumes that are rugged but also easy to spot even on the most crowded days, during torrential rainfall, or at the bottom of a cave’s bottomless pit. Great stuff!
One of the most delightful “hidden Mickeys” at Disneyland is in the riverboat painting that adorns a small building beside the Mark Twain’s dock. Well, that particular Mickey is delightful no longer. Just look where it was moved during the recent river refurbishment:
Notice the difference? Now you can’t see Mickey unless you are able to levitate — and the majority of park guests are unable to do that, particularly over water, and there’s no hope at all for those in wheel chairs and strollers!
We asked Elite Mousmasta, Disneyland’s head of Imagineering’s liason department’s interface to blogs’ management’s temporary assistant, why it is that this bit of joy was removed from Disneyland guests’ grasp. “To put it simply,” said Elite, “hidden Mickeys aren’t there for guests, they’re there for cast members. If you don’t have a boat and a ladder and access to the park after closing and a flashlight, then perhaps you should just take a hint that this particular inside joke was intended for a different audience.”
It’s not the first time Disney has removed a hidden Mickey from public view. Said Elite, “When Disney/MGM studios was first built, there was a gigantic hidden Mickey that could only be seen if you hovered over the park in a helicopter. Then guests discovered it with Google maps and other satellite-imaging tools, and it just ruined the fun for the rest of us. Why go to the trouble of taking the cast-member helicopter out for a spin if everyone and their brother can just see it online anyway? So we stuck a giant hat in the middle of it and otherwise removed its hidden Mickeyness. To heck wit it. These days, all we seem to have left are the hidden Mickeys back stage and the ones on castmember underclothing. But perhaps I’ve said too much.”
A recent UPI story describes how a fourth grader spotted a grammar mistake in signage at Disney’s Animal Kingdom, prompting immediate response from management, including the shutting down of the attraction and erecting a safety perimeter until such time as corrective measures could be taken. Well goody for her.
It’s not that we’re bitter or anything, but we’ve been complaining to Disney for years, using every means of communication imaginable, about the horrible grammar mistake in their annual Haunted Mansion Holiday overlay, and we haven’t gotten so much as a “thank you” letter (and no, the restraining order doesn’t count). This revelation that Disney might have listened to us if we were a little girl is the last straw — we are sending the company an ultimatum. This year, if the grammatically obscene description of Jack’s decorations as “unlike no other” is not corrected in Disneyland’s Haunted Mansion Holiday, the entire staff of DisneyLies.com pledges that we will never, again, so long as any of us shall live, dump our deceased friends’ and relatives’ cremains in the Haunted Mansion. Not even once. So there.
Disneyland continues to experiment with promoting Disney’s recently acquired Marvel properties, including the new film Iron Man 2. In the spirit of this experimentation there will be surprise for guests visiting Toontown today. At several times during the day, the heroic Iron Mouse will fly into Toontown and sign autographs until he is interrupted by his arch nemesis, Whip Leg Pete! Mouse and Pete will then do battle along Toontown’s rooftops (aided by spectacular stuns and special effects).
It is rumored that there may also be an appearance by Duck Fury (agent of Q.U.A.C.K.) and Iron Mouse’s dear friend Goof “Goofy” Gooferson (a.k.a. Goof Machine).
Trivia: If you happen to visit Mickey’s house, you may catch a glimpse among his possession of the still-under-construction shield of the mighty Captain Toontown!
Disney fans are all atwitter over YouTube videos taken at Disneyland yesterday showing Mickey Mouse not just shaking hands and signing autographs, but actually speaking to guests. “The technology is incredible,” said one guest, communicating solely through facial expressions. “Mickey’s mouth and eyes were moving, just as if he were a real gigantic anthropomorphic mouse and not just a poor, underpaid cast member sweating in a ginormous mouse helmet. He even addressed my son by name. My husband doesn’t even do that!”
To get the inside scoop on this new development, we contacted Bonita Chequita, a Disneyland representative chosen at random from the Anaheim phone directory. Said Chequita, “We’ve had a lot of positive feedback about the new animated Mickey character head, but I’m sorry to say it has less to do with improved technology and more to do with some kind of spirit possession. That’s how it knows kids names, tells fortunes, and causes unbelievers and Shrek fans to claw at their eyes in agonizing pain. We’re not sure if it’s a ghost or a demonic influence or what. All we know is that weird stuff has been happening ever since one of the maintenance workers dredged up what looked like an old Tiki Room artifact from the mud at the bottom of the Rivers of America. A duck tried to stop a monorail, DCA attendance is up — all sorts of weird, inexplicable things are happening. We’ve contacted tiki-curse expert Mike Lookinland to see what can be done. But until then, enjoy the show, everybody!”
In honor of Cinco de Mayo, all Mexican-themed attractions in the Disneyland resort that have “Five” in their name will temporarily have the word “Cinco” instead. Enjoy!
There has been much talk of interesting things that were found when Disneyland’s Rivers of America were drained a few months ago for maintenance. Here, according to indisputable anonymous sources that we have neither met nor corresponded with, is a partial list of interesting things dredged up from the river bottom:
After four months of refurbishment — during which the canoe’s tracks were straightened and the riverbed was sifted for stray wallets — Disneyland’s Rivers of America is once again being filled. According to one random person nearby who happened to be wearing an official-looking hat, it’s a more difficult process than you might imaging.
“The actual filling with water isn’t that difficult,” said the person, who looked kind of like an engineer, “it’s just a matter of organizing a couple of bucket brigades to bring water from Pirates and Splash and dump it in the river. What is difficult to manage is the ducks. Every single duck — and there are hundreds of them — has to be individually raised on jacks as the river’s level rises or the poor things would drown. But the ducks are an important part of the river. If it weren’t for them, the river wouldn’t have the thick, green color that gives it its realistic appearance and helps hide the tracks, Fantasmic! gear, and cast-member beer stashes.”
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