Our Official Disney Lies Photo Correspondent has spotted yet another Hidden Lincoln at Disneyland! This one is in the Jungle Cruise attraction. Near the end of the ride, you can just make out one fish that is dressed like Honest Abe?
Remember, if you see a Hidden Lincoln at Disneyland, send us a photo!
According to a post over at Molehill Media, Disneyland will soon play host to walk-around versions of Tinker Bell and her direct-to-video fairy friends, just in time to make little girls beg, scream, cry, and/or threaten an embarrassing public tantrum for fairy merchandise!
The five fairies — Tinker Bell, Fawn, Rosetta, Asia and The Black One — will take over Ariel’s Grotto in a jolly “Kick the Mermaid’s Fishy Behind” ceremony some time later this year. So that they will be ready for the rush of young girls with autograph books, wide eyes, and puzzlement over who the new fairies are, Disneyland is currently holding auditions for young women with slight figures between three and five inches in height.
During her last visit, our Official DisneyLies Photo Correspondent noticed that there has been a change to Disneyland’s Partners statue. Apparently, the figure of Walt is now holding some kind of brochure or pamphlet.
She was unable to get close enough to tell exactly what it was, but apparently it had to do with some kind of “best kept secret” that Disney is keeping under wraps. Well, they must be doing a pretty darned good job of keeping it secret, because we at DisneyLies sure haven’t heard anything about it!
We will look into this further and let you know when we have more information.
A new “What’s in Your Head” exhibit in Disneyland’s Innoventions performs real-time full-skull scans of guests. The scans are displayed on a screen, along with tentative diagnosis from a fully automated computerized medical expert system. It is hoped that, in the future, everyone’s medical needs will be met by hyper-accurate unattended medical examination devices at Disney theme parks.
(Much thanks to our Official DisneyLies Photo Correspondent for this photo of her own scan!)
A reader sent us the following, obviously completely authentic, information:
I am a writer for the Unassociated Press, and on behalf of our staff am sending you this new press release on a developing story coming out of the Clinton campaign regarding the proposed It’s A Small World additions that I would like for you to post on your site to share with your readers.
_________________________________
Clinton responds to preposterous It’s A Small World character additions, makes explosive Eisner-Obama claims
By Allen Lootz
INDIANAPOLIS, Ind. (UP) — In response to the overwhelming amount of negative responses towards the proposed It’s A Small World character additions, Hillary Clinton has decided to make this one of the most important issues to her in her ongoing 2008 presidential campaign.
“I think the proposed additions to the classic It’s A Small World attraction are ridiculous, and it will be one of my top priorities as president to stop evil corporations from ruining classic Disney attractions,” said Clinton in an official statement released Thursday evening. “Senator Obama does not care about this issue, and instead is making ludicrous focuses on miniscule things such as the economy and the war in Iraq.”
Some political analysts are theorizing that Clinton is against these additions simply because in the proposed Bosnia scene rumored to be replacing the rainforest scene, Hillary Clinton will be seen as an It’s A Small World doll under attack by sniper fire alongside happy Bosnian children singing the popular “It’s A Small World” tune in their native tongue. Other campaign insiders are reporting that this is a last resort for Clinton to win the pivotal upcoming primaries in Indiana and North Carolina, states with families known to visit Disney Parks in record numbers, and in the long run, win two big states home to Disney Parks — California and Florida.
Clinton is also making controversial claims that Barack Obama has secret ties with Micheal Eisner and the people at Walt Disney Imagineering, and is responsible for the proposed It’s A Small World additions. “Senator Obama lived 5 houses away from an imagineer responsible for these preposterous additions, and the satanic Michael Eisner has been known to have close ties with Obama’s distant cousin Brad Pitt, leading me and my campaign to believe that he is responsible” said Clinton in an Indianapolis press conference. “Although it hasn’t been proven, I’m sure Senator Obama’s pastor Reverend Jeremiah Wright has also praised additions of Disney characters to It’s A Small World in one of his sermons,” she added.
ABC News has caught on to these claims by Clinton, urging the two democratic hopefuls to debate in a WWE-style wrestling match live in an ABC News prime time special. “We don’t care about the ‘issues’,” said ABC News’ Chief Washington Correspondent, George Stephanopoulos. “We just want to see what the people want, a civilized debate which ABC News has been previously known for — just with wrestling competitions between the candidates during the commercial breaks.” Viewers not in the studio audience to watch the wrestling candidates can later log on to ABC News.com to view a special high definition video feed, which will also be available for purchase on iTunes.
An Obama spokesperson could not be reached for comment.
©2008 The Unassociated Press. All rights reserved.
This press release, released to the press for the first time through this blog, raises a number of important questions. For example, how is Michael Eisner involved with this decision so long after his tar-and-feather-filled exit from Disney? Why is ABC giving significant air time to criticism of its parent company? And why doesn’t the Unassociated Press — a prestigious institution that brought us such important news items as “Bill Clinton Dismayed as Electrical Parade Ends” and “Perot Defends Mr. Lincoln” — insist on incorrectly punctuating “it’s a small world”?
These are mysteries that we leave to you, our intelligent and discerning readers, to puzzle through.
Last month we reported on complaints that certain Disney characters weren’t keeping their performances up to date, and used a photograph of Chip as an example. Word has come to us through certain back-alley sources that the usually jolly chimpmunk has taken recent criticism quite hard. This rumor is supported by a photograph our Official DisneyLies Photo Correspondent happened to snap only yesterday of Chip surprising guests by wandering out from back stage in what can only be referred to as “not show ready” condition.
Poor Chip!
Tragedy struck on Disneyland’s Main Street today as a rogue driver — apparently lost on his way to the parking structure — ran down a pair of British nationals on holiday. The driver was not identified and the car did not stop, but our Official DisneyLies Photographer happened to snap this picture a split second before the impact:
The man and woman were immediately taken to Tinker Bell Memorial Hospital. The man suffered minor injuries to his kite-flying hand and a bad break in his knee means he may never be able to perform as a one-man band again. The woman, although she was at the center of the accident, was judged to be practically perfect in every way and released the same afternoon.
As part of the new House of the Future exhibit in Innoventions, a number of high-tech and speculative vehicles will be on display in the Garage of Tomorrow. Our Official DisneyLies Photo Correspondent happened to catch a glimpse of one of those vehicles — the Honda Hovercycle — as it was being installed.
I hope they’ll let guests take it for a spin!
A recent post on the Unofficial Disney Fan Insider Unvetted Rumor Central Blog revealed that each and every day Disneyland issues as many as ten VIP FASTPASSes to what are described as “guests who are so high profile that they deserve better treatment than mere humans but are too cheap to hire a private tour guide.” Recipients of these special passes include high-profile politicians, celebrities, professional athletes, rock stars, friends of corporate executives, “hunks,” and “babes.” On less crowded days of the year, Guest Services may also “throw a bone” to the occasional Nobel or Pulitzer prize winner.
A VIP FASTPASS grants the bearer many privileges, including the right to:
Some Disneyland fans are quite upset about these VIP FASTPASSes, and with good reason. As one fan put it, “FASTPASS already has too many capital letters in it. VIP FASTPASS is just gilding the Empress Lilly. And it’s a pain to type.”
A DisneyLies reader writes:
I was reading that if you present a 1943 coper penny at the ticket booth in Disneyland that they need 2 give u a ticket. Now i know that the 1943 penny, on the back it says One Cent and has two leafs on each side. I have a 1946 and a 1957 penny that say the same thing. Now my question is, do you have too present a 1943 penny or can it be any penny that says one cent on the back of it with the two leafs. I have a few of those and i heard that they can take them but i was not sure and i found this website. I hope to hear from you guys soon because i am going to Disneyland this tuesday and i wanted to see if it works. Thank you!
As it turns out, Disneyland will take any penny that has a wheat back. The only difference is that you only need one of the 1943 copper pennies, but with any other wheat-back penny you need many more of them (at the time of this writing, 5,600). Enjoy the park!
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