Yesterday was Super Bowl Sunday, and as usual Disneyland crowds were particularly low. Said Castmember Amy Fakename, “I’ve worked at Disneyland for six years and have never seen it so empty. Main Street was like a ghost town, cast members outnumbered guests in Toontown, you could walk right on to Indiana Jones, and the line for Peter Pan was only 40 minutes. Incredible!”
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Super Crowds
Monday, February 6th, 2017Frozen Singalong II
Tuesday, January 6th, 2015The new Frozen-themed attractions in Disney California Adventure have proved to be even more popular than park management anticipated. Said one person who claims to share sandwiches with park management, “It’s cool how hot they are! (Get it? Cool? Hot?)”
The Frozen singalong performance in the former Muppetvision 3D theater is having trouble meeting demand, so the resort will be opening a second Frozen singalong, this time in Disneyland. “Walt Disney’s Frozen Tiki Room” will begin performances in March, after a month-long refurbishment to upgrade and reprogram the TIki Room’s inhabitants. Changes will include replacing many birds with penguins and puffins, adding frostbite to the plants, reworking the totem polls to resemble the film’s Marshmallow character, replacing the tiki gods with animatronic Olafs, and changing the climactic rainstorm into a snowstorm.
The show’s music will also (obviously) be changed. For example, at the start of the show:
Olaf! Olaf! Its showtime!
In the frozen, frozen, frozen, frozen tiki room,
In the frozen, frozen, frozen, frozen tiki room,
All the birds wear coats and snowmen croon,
In the frozen, frozen, frozen, frozen tiki room.Welcome to a movie-themed overlay, you lucky people, you.
Our home in Arendelle go the chills today,
So we flew south to be with you.
After much shenanigans and banter, guests will be introduced to the ice-carved Birdmobile and asked to sing along with a new tune, “Do You Want To Find Rosita?” It begins:
Hey what happened to Rosita?
I hope that she’s okay.
She isn’t on the Birdmobile
And now I feel
She might have flown away.She used to sing so pretty
And now she’s gone.
Was it something that I squawked?Hey what happened to Rosita?
(At least I think her name’s Rosita.)
The traditional singing of “Heigh Ho” as guests leave the attraction is replaced (of course) by Frozen’s signature song, “Let It Go.” The modified tune ends like this:
Let it snow, let it snow,
While you all leave us in a lurch.
Let it snow, let it snow,
I’m frozen to my perch.
We all sing
In the Tiki way.
What else rhymes with “perch?”I don’t know so get up and go away.
A secret message from Disney?
Saturday, December 6th, 2014Sometimes coincidences happen, but when a corporation as control-oriented as Disney is involved, true coincidences are few and far between. With that in mind, consider these facts:
- Disneyland’s 60th anniversary is quickly approaching.
- Yesterday was Walt Disney’s birthday.
- Yesterday, Disneyland made a number announcements related to things that are “frozen” coming to the park.
Clearly they are hinting at something, and I’m sure all the true Disneyland fans out there can guess what it is.
Now if you’ll excuse us, we have to go out and corner the market on “Welcome Back Walt!” t-shirts.
A pardon from Mayor Mickey
Wednesday, November 26th, 2014Today, in the traditional pre-Thanksgiving ceremony, Toontown mayor Mickey Mouse officially pardoned one outdoor vending cart full of turkey legs.
Said Mickey, “It is a little puzzling that I do this every year, but I will say that I enjoy it, because with all the tough stuff that rolls around in Toontown, it’s nice once in a while just to say, ‘Happy Thanksgiving’ and this is a great excuse to do it. Tomorrow is a special moment where we give thanks for people we love and where we’re mindful of all the magical things that have happened in the past year.”
The cart full of turkey legs, each weighing about a pound and a half, was then made Grand Marshal of the Christmas Fantasy parade before being sent to spend the remainder of its existence on an enormous vending-cart retirement farm in Leesburg, Virginia.
Dealing with rain at Disneyland
Thursday, November 20th, 2014Winter is upon us, so we at DisneyLies thought this would be as good a time as any to post our tips for how to deal with Southern California rain when visiting Disneyland. If you happen to find yourself at Disneyland and it begins to rain, here’s what you need to do:
- Find a sheltered spot, take out your cell phone, and use a map application to see your precise current location. If you are in a Disney park and it is raining, you’re probably actually in Florida.
- If you are a Southern California native traveling with small children, go to a calm, quiet, friendly seeming place where you can explain to your children what rain is and why they should not be afraid of it. Maybe you can tell them Uncle Walt is taking a shower in Heaven or something.
- Get a large plastic popcorn bucket, make sure it’s completely empty, and catch as much rain as you possibly can. You can sell the collected rainwater to local farmers for big bucks.
- Buy a plastic poncho (many Disneyland stores will have them in a pile in a cabinet somewhere, possibly covered with dust). Use the poncho to wrap your cell phone, ipod, Google Glass, camera, fitbit, electronic game system, etc., so it isn’t destroyed.
- After your get home, tell all your friends that it rained once so California’s drought is finally over!
Special Passholder Event
Wednesday, November 19th, 2014Last night, Disneyland held a special event for selected annual passholders. Those lucky enough to receive an invitation were able to visit the park from 8 a.m. to midnight, after normal operating hours. Special treats for this event included:
- The opportunity to feel superior to “normal” guests who had to leave the park 4 hours before you did.
- The opportunity to feel horrible guilt as hordes of very young “normal” guests cry because they don’t understand why they have to leave when all these other people get to stay.
- Near continual performance of Main Street’s famous “soap suds for snow” presentation, making it the go-to spot for guests who wanted a free shampoo or stroller wash.
- A special performance of Fantasmic! (marred only by the fact that the dragon was being refurbished and had to perform without a head, the Mark Twain’s performance was carried out completely from its static position in dry dock, and Micky Mouse was sick* so his part was played by Big Al).
- Many unusual characters were available to take photos with guests, such as Robin Hood, Baloo, and Cynthia Harris.
- As a special treat, Photopass photographers were available and guests could download electronic versions of any photos taken at the party from the Photopass website without having to pay a shipping fee.
- At the end of the evening, all guests were given a Christmas tree ornament tastefully plastered with advertisements for upcoming ABC holiday specials.
*Mickey Mouse is currently not appearing at Disneyland because he has the flu. Apparently, he did not get a flu shot because Daisy has convinced Minnie that it will give him Mouskeautism.