Archive for the ‘DCA’ Category

Little Mermaid (part 2)

Tuesday, October 18th, 2011

Infinite seashells

The attraction has only fifteen vehicles, but they are made to look like many more through the clever use of mirrors.


The attraction is narrated by a creepy, beady-eyed musical bird for some reason. Nobody we interviewed for the compilation of facts within this expose was able to tell us why (largely because they were too busy looking at is as if we were insane).

Water entrance

The attraction vehicles turn around and slip below the waves, complements of a special effect that, while brilliantly executed, is crammed with far too many tiny little hidden Mickeys for our taste.

Mermaid with purse

As you descend into the sea, Arial can be seen overhead, accompanied by what appears to be a chambered nautilus and carrying a purse to help remind little princesses of their responsibility to accessorize.

Mermaid treasure house

Within Ariel’s undersea lair can be seen many of her treasures (forks, ruined books, jugs full of seawater), cleverly scavenged from among the many survivor-less shipwrecks that have drifted down to her domain.


In the “under the sea” room, Sebastian the crab faces a row of electric eels and, with his little baton, conducts electricity.

Psycho mermaid hair

In the grand showroom, Ariel sings, dances, and sports a hairdo modeled after the shell of the fly-specked cerith.

Kissing a swan

Why is this fish kissing the front half of an old, barnacle-covered swan statue? We don’t know.


Ursula, the villain in this little tableau, is introduced in a dark, spooky scene in which she is depicted as being larger than the water-covered video globe of the Earth. We don’t understand this either.

Tomorrow, the exciting climax to this thrilling adventure!

Little Mermaid (part 1)

Monday, October 17th, 2011

Now that the queue for the Little Mermaid attraction at DCA is finally averaging less than two hours, we thought it would be nice to make a little photo tour of the attraction for those of you who have neither been to the park recently nor seen any of the other photo tours, videos, or detailed reviews copiously available online and in travel guides, AAA publications, and Disney-fan magazines.

Little Mermaid entrance

The entrance to the attraction is very attractive, although here and there we could see a little room for additional quality control.

Mermaid tile

Within the entrance is a mosaic floor in which scenes from the film have been created entirely with natural sea-sourced materials, such as seaweed, shells, and bits of the Titanic.

Center of DCA

Here’s a little bit of trivia for you, this marker embedded in the ground at the attraction’s entrance marks the exact, precise, geographic center of Disney California Adventure.

Hidden Mickey

Within the show building, we immediately spotted this lamp, which serves as a hint of the one problem this attraction has — too darned many hidden Mickeys. Sure, we love hidden Mickeys as much as the next guy so long as the next guy isn’t Michael Eisner, but in this attraction they are just ubiquitous.

Weird shape

The level of detail in the queue is incredible, although we can’t quite understand why the rails are decorated with these little cacti.

Radioactive mermaid

As the vehicle boarding area approaches, there is a large mural decorated with this lovely painting of Arial, the Little Mermaid herself. As a subtle environmental message, the LM’s mermaid face glows gently, to help make riders aware of the problems caused by dumping radioactive materials into the planet’s oceans.

Coming tomorrow — the actual attraction!

Clear skies at DCA

Wednesday, October 5th, 2011

Clear skies at DCA

Just wanted to share this incredible view from DCA. On our recent visit, the sky was so clear that for the first time ever we could actually see the mountains in the distance!

DCA’s new entrance

Tuesday, October 4th, 2011

DCA's new entrance

We finally got to see the new entrance to Disney California Adventure, and think it is an incredible tribute to the entrance to Disney Hollywood Studios in Florida.

Seeing the new entrance also helped us understand why the park’s name was changed from Disney’s California Adventure to Disney California Adventure — there is no possible way that the “‘s” could have fit on the marque. Seriously, it would have been crammed up against the “C” and just looked terrible. Good decision, Disney!

California Zephyr’s New Home

Monday, August 8th, 2011

As Disney California Adventure refurbishment continues, the California Zephyr (which once housed a toy-train store and restaurants selling train-themed baked goods and railroad-flavored ice cream) has been removed, bringing a sincere tear to the eye of many a Disneyland fan.

“It’s like a piece of history has been cut right out of history, and now — it’s history!” said Paula Babble, a former cast member whose lack of eloquence is matched only by a sense of nostalgia so overblown as to essentially be crippling. “I remember back when it was the Viewliner at Disneyland. I road it as a little girl and it was like a dream that I was actually dreaming, about a train and being on a train. I was so happy when they brought it out of storage and put it on display at California Adventure! But now it’s gone, and it’s like they’ve taken my childhood and crushed it and stomped it and ground it to pieces, hitting it with a hammer again, and again, and again until it is nothing more than bright, fragile shards of a ruined dream sprayed across the landscape of my life, threatening to draw blood from any who so much as think of touching a finger to them — only worse!”

Disney has announced that it will donate the California Zephyr to the Gene Autrey Museum of Western Heritage. The museum doesn’t want the train and has nowhere to put it, but Disney needs the tax deduction, so there you go.

New DCA entrance theme

Monday, August 1st, 2011

DCA’s Engine-Ears Toys, Bur-r-r Bank Ice Cream, and Bakersfield Bakery were obliterated today as part of the installation of the park’s new entrance-area theme.

“The new California Adventure entrance experience,” said an imagineer who spoke with us on condition of our pretending he existed, “will be reminiscent of Walt Disney’s early days in California. As of now, with the construction walls up and the stores and set pieces removed, the entrance’s new ‘Disneyland: 1954′ theme is complete. Guests detouring around the new entrance will be able to experience the thrill of passing by Disneyland as it was being built.”

If planned plans continue as planned, this new theme — complete with “workers” performing “construction” — will remain in place until early next year, after which it will be replaced by an even more Disney-historic orange grove.

Secret Carthay Circle club

Monday, July 25th, 2011

Rumors have been confirmed that the Carthay Circle Restaurant — being built at Disney California Adventure to replace the water fountain and scientifically precise model of the sun that once stood at the end of the entrance street — will contain a secret club on a secret second floor. This club, similar to Disneyland’s Club 33, will be a California-themed private venue called Route 66.

The club will feature gourmet food, a “Golden Gate” entry staircase, a telephone booth and memorabilia from the movie Condorman, and a dining room themed to California-native Richard Nixon, complete with microphones in the chandeliers so that behind-the-scenes cast members can record and respond to any guest request at a moment’s notice. One special touch will be a ladies-room commode fashioned from palm fronds.

Membership is already full and the waiting list extends several years into the future, so if you are massively wealthy and interested, you’d best contact DCA management immediately to have your name added. Note that, in keeping with its California theme, Route 66 membership fees are payable only in gold nuggets.


Tuesday, July 13th, 2010

While planning for an upcoming jaunt into Disney California Adventure, we were looking over the DCA map on and noticed that a big change has been made to Maliboomer — it’s invisible! Although the attraction is still listed, you can’t see it on the map at all!

To find out what was going on, we contacted Dr. Professor — a thin white man with disheveled gray hair and a doctorate in comparative accounting from an unaccredited university who sometimes walks around DCA in a lab coat. According to the doctor, “What Disney has done is realize that the so-called ‘Maliboomer’ attraction was, although entertaining, highly visible but artistically unappealing. To address this problem, they painted the entire attraction with infra-red paint that is invisible to the human eye and therefore renders the entire superstructure visually indetectable without highly specialized equipment.” He went on to warn that guests wandering in the area should pay particular attention to signs so that they don’t accidentally smack into one of the towers, and left to study vector equations in Midway Mania.

Thanks, Doctor!

No more “‘s Park”

Tuesday, June 1st, 2010

Disney has announced that, effective immediately, Disney’s California Adventure Park is to be known as Disney California Adventure, bringing its name more in line with Disneyland (formerly Disney’s Land), The Disneyland Resort (formerly Disneyland), and the Disneyland Hotel (formerly Disneyland’s Hotel, then Disneyland Hotel Under New Management). This announcement not only caught many Disney fans off guard, but it also inspired anger in many who felt betrayed after so many years attempting to endear themselves to the park.

It’s not the removal of the “’s” that has most fans up in arms, however, but the deletion of “Park” from the official name. Said one prominent Disney fan via Twitter from his mom’s basement, “That was one of the few ‘in’ jokes that Imagineers were able to sneak past Eisner and his cronies when California Adventure was in its infancy. I mean, it was a ‘park’ built on what used to be a parking lot, right? It was awesome!”

The name change was more than just a flight of fancy by park executives. Rather, it was the result of years of product testing, and will result in changes in signage and paper goods throughout the resort. In fact, the name change is expected to exhaust the bulk of the $1 billion Disney set aside to revamp the park. “That’s why we’ve had to cut corners here and there in the refurb,” said imaginary Imagineer Irene Iranirun. “If you think about it, you’ll see that we’re cutting corners everywhere. We’ve replaced a swing ride with a swing ride. We’re replacing a lake with a slightly more advanced lake. We’re replacing a parking lot with a tribute to cars. None of these are big stretches that require a lot of money, because the money’s all going to naming consultants and reprinting park maps.”

How will the name change impact you, the park guest? In three ways:

  1. Disney California Adventure will now be referred to as “DCA,” instead of the former, more fun to say, DsCAP.
  2. If you have any unused tickets to the old park, they’re now void. Unused park hoppers can only be used in Disneyland. Annual passes will have to be upgraded to allow entrance into the new park.
  3. You can immediately start making fun of less knowledgeable people who still use the old name.
  4. Lines for Toy Story’s Midway Mania ride will be drastically reduced. (However, lines for the Toy Story Midway Mania attraction are expected to double over the summer months.)

World of Color Blogger Protests!

Monday, May 24th, 2010

Our close, personal, online semi-acquaintances over at Theme Park Adventure have gone public with a blog post in which they make exactly, precisely clear why they will not be attending the Disney press event for the opening of World of Color at Disney’s California Adventure. It is an impassioned, gut-wrenching, tale of intrigue, betrayal, and abandonment revolving around Disney’s miserly withholding of all but one ticket to this press event. To quote from an imaginary but thematically related blog post, “Bleh!”

After due consideration, we at have decided to join Theme Park Adventure in not going to the premier of this new entertainment, not just because we feel that Disney should have more important considerations that cost and capacity when planning these events, but also because they even went so far as to never send us an invitation in the first place. Some might ask why a site such as DisneyLies that prefers to stay completely off Disneyland’s radar (in order to maintain our journalistic “integrity”) would even want an invitation, but there’s a big difference between desiring not to be sued into oblivion and not wanting to accept cool free stuff! In fact, if Disney would spend more time sending us awesome things we don’t need but can brag about out sell on eBay, perhaps we wouldn’t have felt the need to publish such articles as our recent “Robert Iger, Secret Zombie?” and “The Ducks of Disneyland: Their Diseases, Mutations, and Homicidal Urges.”

And we’re not the only ones joining in this protest. DisneyLies contacted (though secret means known only to professional bloggers) other prominent online content developers and asked if they would be attending this premier if offered only a single ticket. The response was incredible, ranging from “You’re aware that I live in Florida, right?” to “Why are you even writing to me?” to “554 permanent problems with the remote server.” Truly the online community has spoken!

We received one particularly impassioned reply from Peter “the Pan” Poultry at the Attraction Watchdog in Mom’s Basement Report: “There was a time when Disney would invite media from all over the country to fly down to Disneyland at their expense to attend grand parties for events as minor as the unveiling of a new Main Street trash-can paint scheme. They’d provide catered meals to us and as many guests as we could cram in a hotel suite, showing us an awesome time in return for a few choice ‘unbiased’ words on our blog. But now that the cheapskates have take over at Disney — quoting excuses about ‘shareholder value’ and ‘the economy,’ whatever that is — you’re lucky to get so much as a free jacket or tote bag to go along with your invitation. And the press events are toned down to the point that they hardly even have open bars any more, and how are you supposed to report on this kind of thing when you are sober? And just one invitation is just stupid. I need two assistants just to manage my luggage and churros. I’ll bet that if someone at ABC News wanted more than one pass they’d get it. It’s like those guys have some kind of secret ‘in’ with Disney or something.”

Now, some of you will say that Disney has every right to manage its press events as it pleases, or point out that even though original estimates for World of Color’s capacity were estimated at 9,000, they turned out to be more like 6,000 with viewing spots that have perfect conditions numbering in the dozens and this means that ideally only a limited number of press should attend. But what about history? What about loyalty? Theme Park Adventure has been reporting on Disney for almost-16 years, and has been at it for 7 (14 in dog years). But that’s nothing compared to some of the people that Disney snubbed on this occasion.

Let’s look at the grassroots Disney fan who I’m sure we can all agree is most deserving of an invitation to this grand event. Helena VanDerMcVonO’Donalley has been President of the Northern Arizona Mickey Mouse Club Fan Club from its inception back in 1955. Since that time, she has delivered the venerable “NAMMC FaCluNe: The Northern Arizona Mickey Mouse Club Fan Club Newsletter,” in hand-typed form to everyone on her dwindling list of fan-club members almost without fail whenever time and health permits. But did she receive an invitation to the World of Color premier? No. Although Helena was unable to comment on the situation (do to a persistent vegetative coma that overtook her in 2003), she is certainly disappointed. And even if she had been invited, would Disney have insisted that she be content with a single pass? Couldn’t she bring her nurse? Or her husband’s remains? Or someone to push her hospital bed around for her? And what if she had wanted to attend with her sons, Mickey and Donald, or her daughters, Minnie, Pluto, and Goofy, two of whom are not on speaking terms with her for reasons the family says should be obvious but who might have wanted to finally end their silly feud and allow Helen’s final days to be lived in familial unity if World of Color premier tickets were in the offering? But no, Disney would rather leave Helen and those like her to their misery rather than make the DCA lake a little bigger to accommodate everyone that really deserves to be included at this historic event.

So, in closing, good for you, Theme Park Adventure for sticking to your guns and rejecting an invitation that is really nothing more than a backhandedly flattering, highly desirable insult. We at DisneyLies will proudly not attend the event with you.

(Unless we’re invited, of course.)