Archive for the ‘Characters’ Category

The wonderful thing about fishing…

Wednesday, September 24th, 2014

Not much going on in the way of Disney news today (aside from that big Star Wars announcement), so we thought we’d share one of our favorite photos from a recent visit:

Record catch Tigger

It’s so nice to see the characters wandering the parks (and this definitely explains Tigger’s usually inexplicable odor!)

The Mermaid’s Many Moods

Friday, September 19th, 2014

The many moods of the Little Mermaid

Disappointing costume

Wednesday, September 10th, 2014

We were at DCA yesterday doing research and saw the following:


Groot at California Adventure

(Apologies for the poor quality of the photos, but we had to snap this quickly as we walked by.)

It is infrequent that we have  a complaint about Disney’s costume department, because they generally do a terrific job. They really seemed to have made a misstep in this case, though. As much as we love Guardians of the Galaxy, this costume just doesn’t look that much like Groot to us.

Googling Disney

Monday, February 10th, 2014

Ever wonder what other Disney fans are thinking? We do. To help us find out, we entered the names of various Disney-related characters, people, and places into Google to see what Google’s auto-complete feature suggested, based on the most popular searches. Here’s a sample of what we found:






























Greedy Pooh meme

Monday, September 3rd, 2012

Today’s a holiday, so instead of doing actual work we are reposting several examples of the “Greedy Pooh” meme that have been all the rage of late. Enjoy!

Disney character math

Monday, April 23rd, 2012

During a recent covert nighttime sneak around Disney studios, we discovered the master character database computer on which is detailed in great detail the details of every Disney character since the beginning of time. Each character’s file is crammed full of facts, which the computer uses to generate a mathematical representation of the character that can be used when evaluating proposed new projects. While playing around with these models, we discovered that they obey all the standard mathematical rules. For example, Sleeping Beauty (from the film of the same name) minus Beauty (from the first half of the name of the film with her name) equals Sleepy (from the seven dwarfs) — or, in math terms, “Sleeping Beauty – Beauty = Sleepy,” just as you might expect.

Some additional mathematical investigation revealed the following equations, some of which are quite revealing.

  • Thumper + Mad Hatter = Roger Rabbit
  • Br’er Rabbit – Uncle Remus = Rabbit
  • Donald Duck x (Minnie Mouse / Mickey Mouse) = Daisy Duck
  • Buzz Lightyear – Tron = Pleakley
  • Maleficent – Headless Horseman = Madame Leota
  • Timon – Flower = Piglet
  • Prince of Persia + Lt. Robin Crusoe, U.S.N. = John Carter
  • Baloo + Stinky Pete the Prospector  = Lots-O’-Huggin’ Bear
  • (The Queen of Hearts – Lady) x Baby Herman = The King of Hearts
  • Flynn Rider – Rapunzel + Jasmine = Aladdin
  • Daniel Boone + Meeko = Davy Crockett
  • Herbie + The Caterpillar = Fillmore
  • Bullseye + Goofy = Horace Horsecollar
  • The Reluctant Dragon + Heffalump = Figment
  • (Tweedledum + Tweedledee) x Flik = Tuck and Roll
  • (King Triton / Tarzan) x (Cinderella + Prince Charming) = The Little Mermaid
  • Cheshire Cat x (King Louie – Terk) = Thomas O’Malley
  • Yen Sid x Ichabod Crane = Merlin
  • Andy Davis x the Big Bad Wolf = Sid Phillips
  • Monstro + Alameda Slim = Willie the Operatic Whale
  • (Huey + Dewey + Louie) x Tinker Bell = Flora + Fauna + Merryweather
  • Carl Fredricksen + (the Seven Dwarfs x Tinker Bell) = Darby O’Gill
  • Shere Khan + Psycho the Weasel = Tigger
  • Kaa + Prince John = Sir Hiss
  • Captain Jack Sparrow + Ursula = Davy Jones
  • Lightning McQueen – Mr. Incredible = Benny the Cab
  • Geppetto + Grandmother Willow = Pinocchio
  • Aladar + Boo = Rex the Dinosaur
  • Peter Pan + Grumpy = Carl Fredricksen
  • WALL-E – Squeeze Toy Alien = Maximilian
  • Lumière x Wall-E = Luxo Jr.
  • Donald Duck x Cogsworth = Gyro Gearloose
  • Beast + Eeyore = Big Al
  • Jungle Cruise Skipper + the Blue Fairy = Genie
  • Tour Guide Barbie – Snow White = Jessica Rabbit
  • Mickey Mouse – The Happiest Millionaire = Oswald the Lucky Rabbit
  • Queen Clarisse Renaldi + Fairy Godmother = Mary Poppins
  • Hercules x (Dory – Cleo) = Kronk
  • (Cobra Bubbles – Hercules) x (Abominable Snowman – Dopey) = Frozone
  • Tantor x Magic Carpet = Dumbo
  • Oogie Boogie x Edna Mode = Roz
  • Captain Nemo + the Crocodile = Captain Hook
  • Willie the Giant + Stitch = Chernabog
  • Christopher Robin + Hades = Little Hans
  • Robin Hood x (Jessie – Alice) = Woodie
  • (Am + Si) x Flounder = Flotsam + Jetsam
  • The Apple Dumpling Gang x (the One and Only, Genuine, Original Family Band – Swiss Family Robinson) = Newsies
  • Kim Possible – Inspector Gadget = Hannah Montana
  • Chip and Dale + Inspector Gadget = G-Force
  • Yzma + (101 Dalmations x Old Yeller) = Cruella de Vil
  • (Kanga + Roo) / Rabbit = (Mrs. Potts + Chip) / Lumière
  • The Rocketeer – Shang = Condorman
  • Mufasa x (Nemo / Marlin) = Simba
  • Mufasa + Zeus = Aslan
  • Tarzan – Hercules = Mowgli
  • Scrooge McDuck – The Million Dollar Duck = Donald Duck
  • Pacha x (Hopper / Jiminy Cricket) + Inspector Gadget = Syndrome
  • Gopher x Syndrome = The Underminer
  • (Elliott the Dragon – Jiminy Cricket) x Scar + Violet Parr = Randall Boggs
  • Abu + Esmeralda of Main Street = Rafiki
  • Flounder x Judge Doom = Bruce
  • Beverly Hills Chihuahua + The Rocketeer + Gyro Gearloose = Bolt
  • Snow White’s Prince + (Zorro – José Carioca) = Prince Philip
  • Zazu x Jafar = Iago
  • Andy’s Mom + the Absent-Minded Professor = Elastigirl
  • (Basil of Baker Street – Bernard) + The Swedish Chef = Remy
  • Bambi + Bambi’s Mom + Gaston = Bambi + Gaston

If you are well versed in Disney character math and would like to add some of your own equations in the comments, please feel free to do so. If you think you have spotted an inaccuracy in this list, you are wrong. It has been verified by math.

Mighty Missing Power Rangers

Wednesday, May 12th, 2010

Today, via secret undistributed shadow press release, the Walt Disney Company announced that it is selling the Mighty Morphing Power Rangers back to the series’ creator, Haim “Haim Sandwich” Saban.

Although it was difficult to hear Disney Press Correspondent Pinky Powers over the cheers of the Disney faithful, she was able to reveal details of the sale. “Disney is in no way regretful for accidentally purchasing the Power Rangers while paying far too much for the Fox Family Channel,” said Powers. “The Rangers are the embodiment of such Disney-approved qualities as equality amongst people of outfits of all colors, and good, clean violence toward giant monsters. In the spirit of helping the Rangers make a smooth transition back to their original family, this morning Disney paid Haim Saban $126 million for his agreement to reacquire the characters, and the Power Rangers were escorted out of Disney’s Hollywood Studios to be debriefed and have their annual passes canceled.”

Although it might sound at first sight like this was an amicable breakup, we could feel that the story stunk of cover-up, leaving a bad taste in our mouth. After the press conference, we confronted Pinky Powers with our suspicions, and she revealed the truth on the condition that we neither use her name nor mention that we got the story from her.

“The real story is that Disney had become completely disenchanted with the Power Rangers,” said Powers. “At first there was this excitement about adding the Rangers to the stable of heroes Disney recently acquired from Marvel. The idea was that there was to be this big reality-style television show with a ‘last hero standing’ kind of theme. A Power Ranger would battle a Marvel hero, with the winner remaining to fight the next opponent until everyone on one team had been beaten. On the first day of taping, the Pink Ranger was set to fight Wasp from the Avengers — kind of a ‘girl fight’ to get the thing going. Pink lasted like three minutes, then Wasp took out Blue in about another five. She took on Green, Yellow, and Red all at once after that, but it was no contest. Wasp was the last hero standing and all the Rangers were crying into their helmets not half an hour before the thing started. Talk about embarrassing! The Hulk, Iron Man, Spider-Man — why couldn’t it have been one of them? At least then it would make more sense. But Wasp? And not just Wasp, but Wasp played by Olivia Munn? Disney couldn’t run from that PR train wreck fast enough.”

All Power Rangers merchandise has been removed from Disney stores, being temporarily replaced by far more profitable empty space.

100 Things Mickey Mouse Must Never Say

Friday, January 15th, 2010

Direct from the Walt Disney Corporation Secret Archives, deep within the Burbank Atomic Survival Bunker, here is the official list of 100 Things Mickey Mouse Must Never Say:

  1. Hand-drawn animation is dead.
  2. What kind of animal is Goofy anyway?
  3. Can you direct me to the nude beach?
  4. Don’t waste your time in college, kid. Walt never went to college, and he was rich!
  5. I’ll have what she’s having.
  6. Prison changes a mouse.
  7. Gay marriage? I don’t have a problem with that.
  8. Here, let me give you the access code to the secret tunnels under Disneyland.
  9. Here, let me tell you how to save money on park admission.
  10. Here, let me help you smuggle that heroin.
  11. That’s a lovely blouse. May I try it on?
  12. Watch while I turn my head back and forth. My ears are physically impossible, aren’t they?
  13. Sobriety and seatbelts are for sissies.
  14. It’s okay — you can forget about the royalties.
  15. I’ve always secretly had a thing for Clarabelle.
  16. I just adore Oscar Wilde.
  17. It’s all fun and games until someone loses an eye.
  18. Hey look! Someone’s eye!
  19. Better to beg forgiveness than ask permission.
  20. A dream is a wish your heart makes when you can’t handle reality.
  21. Unfortunately, Minnie’s cooking makes me sick.
  22. Unfortunately, Space Mountain makes me sick.
  23. Unfortunately, Miley Cyrus makes me sick.
  24. There once was a man from Nantucket…
  25. Stalking’s really more of a compliment than a crime.
  26. Why go to the theater to see a movie when you can just rent it in a few months?
  27. I still have nightmares about making that disco album.
  28. Is it just me, or are the Jungle Cruise jokes getting stale?
  29. California Adventure is more of a half-day park.
  30. At first, Eisner was great. But later? Hitler.
  31. Don’t believe everything you see in TV commercials.
  32. Instead of watching videos, why not go outside and play?
  33. Am I the only one who’s sick of princesses?
  34. It wasn’t me; it was Pluto.
  35. Minnie’s cute, but she’s no Annette Funicello.
  36. So, you doing anything after the cartoon?
  37. One ticket for Brokeback Mountain, please.
  38. Acting’s great, but what I really want to do is direct.
  39. Acting’s great, but what I really want to do is retire.
  40. Acting’s great, but what I really want to do is punch Donald right in the beak.
  41. Would you be shocked if I put on something more comfortable?
  42. You talkin’ to me?
  43. Go ahead — make my day.
  44. I love the smell of napalm in the morning!
  45. I’m as mad as hell, and I’m not going to take this anymore!
  46. You can’t handle the truth!
  47. You can’t fight in here! This is the War Room!
  48. Frankly, Minnie, I don’t give a damn.
  49. Churros are people!
  50. I still regret not reading for Sparticus.
  51. For quality and price, you can’t beat Amway.
  52. Can I interest you in an issue of The Watchtower?
  53. People who speak after inhaling helium sound really annoying.
  54. How the heck did Pete grow his leg back?
  55. Anyone mind if I give John Lasseter a big, wet kiss right on the lips? Please?
  56. My favorite movie? Scarface.
  57. My favorite movie? Willard.
  58. My favorite movie? Shrek.
  59. I’m pretty much just in it for the money.
  60. You can have my gun when you pry it from my cold, gloved hands.
  61. Toga! Toga!
  62. Attica! Attica!
  63. I prefer “mouse-American”
  64. I have such a hangover.
  65. I always vote Libertairan.
  66. My animator doesn’t understand me.
  67. Would you like fries with that?
  68. “bogart”
  69. “dude”
  70. “skanky”
  71. “hottubbing”
  72. “anatomically correct”
  73. “Dreamworks”
  74. “public domain”
  75. “file sharing”
  76. “unionize”
  77. Like George Carlin would say…
  78. Mary Poppins, Tinkerbell — women who fly shouldn’t wear dresses.
  79. Scientology has changed my life.
  80. He says they’re his nephews, but they sure look a lot like him.
  81. That dress makes Minnie look kind of hot.
  82. That dress makes Daisy look kind of hot.
  83. That dress makes Goofy look kind of hot.
  84. Workers of the world, unite!
  85. You’re here to enjoy yourself, not to spend money.
  86. Remember kids, try everything you see in cartoons at home!
  87. Hi, Bambi! How’s the family?
  88. They replaced the Country Bears with what???
  89. Even with my toes I can only count to 16.
  90. Sure, you can paint a picture of me on the wall of your business if you like.
  91. Criticize Uncle Walt one more time and I’ll rip out your intestines with my bare hands.
  92. What’s wrong with selling out?
  93. While you’re in town, don’t forget to visit Knotts Berry Farm.
  94. Got a light?
  95. I’m getting too old for this.
  96. Pluto! Kill!
  97. Minnie, will you marry me?
  98. Do these shorts make me look fat?
  99. You know I’m just some guy in a suit — right, kid?
  100. No autographs.

Of animatronics and Wall*E

Friday, June 20th, 2008

It has been announced that after the release of Pixar’s newest feature Wall*E, a full-size animatronic Wall*E will be introduced into Disney’s California Adventure! This specially programmed, completely autonomous automaton will drive, make expressive noises, and pick up trash, just like its movie counterpart. Disney management says that it may even be allowed to interact with guests after it has completely cleaned its area of the park.

Unfortunately, just a few days after this news was released, Disney announced that it would be firing a significant number of its animatronics-department staff. This marks an end to Disney’s tradition of developing lifelike figures in-house or (in recent years) of outsourcing much of its animatronics work but not telling anyone. The released staffers will be replaced by specially programmed, completely autonomous Wall*E-style robots.

Fairied Alive!

Wednesday, May 7th, 2008

According to a post over at Molehill Media, Disneyland will soon play host to walk-around versions of Tinker Bell and her direct-to-video fairy friends, just in time to make little girls beg, scream, cry, and/or threaten an embarrassing public tantrum for fairy merchandise!

The five fairies — Tinker Bell, Fawn, Rosetta, Asia and The Black One — will take over Ariel’s Grotto in a jolly “Kick the Mermaid’s Fishy Behind” ceremony some time later this year. So that they will be ready for the rush of young girls with autograph books, wide eyes, and puzzlement over who the new fairies are, Disneyland is currently holding auditions for young women with slight figures between three and five inches in height.