Archive for the ‘Animation’ Category

Disney Animation 2008: Bolt

Saturday, April 26th, 2008

Disney’s 2008 Christmas release will hit the big screen this year just before Thanksgiving. The story revolves around title character Bolt (voiced by John Travolta), a dog who is a big star first in a TV sitcom in then in disco-themed movies. But Bolt falls on hard times — his career is in the dumps and he can’t get a job bigger than providing voiceovers for puppies that are to young to speak for themselves.

Then one day Bolt is approached by a member of the Church of Smellatology, a group that says they all dogs’ problems are related to ancient smells left behind by space-alien dogs that were dumped into volcanoes thousands of years ago. Bolt joins their crazy cult and is almost immediately contacted by long-time fan and director Quentin Terrier who asks him to costar in a new film, Pup Fiction. The film is a huge success (largely due to a cult following that enjoys Terrier’s dialog — particularly Bolt’s speech about what dog biscuits are called in France) and Bolt is back on top

Or is he? You see, the Church of Smellatology is demanding that Bold make a film of their leader’s novel Boneyard Earth, and there’s a new Smellatologist star on the horizon — the rambling, couch-jumping Jet (voiced by Tom Cruise).

Disney Animation 2008: WALL*E

Friday, April 25th, 2008

WALL*E, Pixar’s next animated feature, is scheduled to be released on June 27 at the 28th Annual Vegas Appliance Convention. The film stars voice actors Kenny Baker as the title character, and Sigourney Weaver as a spaceship crewmember desperately trying to convince everyone that WALL*E has acid for blood and is threatening to eat her cat.

Despite its rudimentary capitalization and unconventional punctuation, WALL*E is predicted to be a big hit with robots, androids, Al Gore, and the like. In fact, even though the movie is yet to be released, demand for WALL*E toys is so high that you likely won’t find a single on at your local Disney store (and, if you wait a little longer, you may not find your local Disney store in your local Disney store, either).

Intense film buildup

Thursday, April 24th, 2008

Breaking the intense wall of silence that prevents anyone from finding out anything about future productions without the use of the Internet, Disney has announced the titles and contents of its ten next animated features. The announcement was made on April 8 by Dick Cook, chairman of Walt Disney Studios, and John Lasseter, a god-like figure who literally glows with goodness so bright that he is painful to look at directly.

Said Cook, “I am very proud of these upcoming features, and am confident that they will meet all Disney-fan expectations, largely because executives such as myself are staying out of the process as much as possible.”

“I have to lock him in a closet sometimes,” added Lasseter as he was fed delicate pealed grapes by darling flying cherubs. “They’re great people and just want to help, but really — it’s for the best.”

Over the coming days, DisneyLies will synopsise each of these films (assuming that’s even a real word) for your enjoyment, entertainment, and disinformation. Stay tooned (sic.)!

*

Wednesday, March 26th, 2008

Pixar’s next feature film is titled Wall*E — but how many of you know what the “*” in the film’s title stands for?
The story is long and interesting, but in the interest of my not having to type so much, I’ll just give you the boring details.

In 2001, the folks at Pixar decided that they should do a movie about robots. They did a lot of brainstorming about plot and design, but mostly they just discussed the robot’s name — what should it be? Obviously, it should be something robot like, and since people were so used to seeing a lowercase “i” in the names of computer equipment (iPod, iTunes, iGlasses), something with one of those might be nice. They also wanted the robot’s name to reflect the fact that it lived on a planet where insurmountable walls of garbage had made the place unlivable.

Hence the name iWall was formed.

But that name didn’t last long. Common wisdom was that the name sounded too much like the name of a country (I-ran, I-raq, I-reland). Well, what if they put the “i” at the end of the name? “Wall-i” — hmmm.

Wall-i sounded good, and it fit with the fact that the robot was supposed to have a lazy eye. But it never caught on. People started referring to the robot as “Wall-a,” “Wall-o,” “Wall-u,” and sometimes “Wall-y,” which was actually close to a real name. The idea of a name that sounded like a real name was appealing, so to appease the it-needs-to-have-a-vowel folks the robot was rechristened “Wall-e”.

So far so good. But wasn’t a hyphenated name passé? And might it not make people think that “Wall-e” was a hyphenated last name and robot’s parents were Mr. Wall and Ms. e? So other forms of punctuation were tried:

Wall/e
Wall?e
Wall@e
Wall^e
Wall[e
Wall:e
Www.all.e
Wall_e
Wall Wall:-)e

And, finally, Wall*e.

But why an asterisk when some of the other bits of punctuation look much better? The answer is simple — there’s a footnote in the middle of Wall*e’s name. In the film, if you happen to catch a glimpse of the bottom of the tread on the robot’s foot, you may see the text of the footnote: “*Formerly Wall-i.”

Neat, eh?

Correction: The Aristocats

Tuesday, March 11th, 2008

Correction

In an earlier post we announced that “The Aristocats Special Edition” DVD was overpriced and that readers should consider purchasing “the plain old The Aristocrats DVD instead.” It turns out that “The Aristocrats” is a different movie entirely, and we received many e-mails from parents who mistakenly followed our advice (to the delight, amazement, and/or confusion of their children). Sorry ’bout that!

Feature #50

Wednesday, February 27th, 2008

Disney’s 50th animated feature has been approved and is moving into production. All Together Now is going to be a musical tour-de-force, starring characters from all preceding Disney animated features. The film will be a combination of 2D and 3D animation, much to the delight of fans of both mediums.

“We are very pleased to have put together a plan that will allow Disney to return to traditional animation, at least in part, in time for its fiftieth feature,” said Pete Schill, supposedly a Disney animation lead. “To keep costs under control, All Together will be composed entirely of animation recycled from other films, but with all new dialogue by current hot Disney stars. It’ll be like a wonderful collage — funny, delightful, nostalgic, and most importantly, cheap.”

We at DisneyLies can’t wait! See you at the movies in 2011!

Heil Ho, Heil Ho!

Tuesday, February 26th, 2008

Gustov Fuhrurfan, head of Hitlermania, an Adolf-Hitler-themed museum in Norway, claims to have discovered a number of sketches of Disneys Seven Dwarfs made by Hitler himself. “This is pretty definitive proof,” said Fuhrurfan, “that Walt Disney himself hired Adolf to do character design for Snow White. There is really no other possible explanation, and I recommend that anyone who disagrees with this assessment be investigated by the government with extreme prejudice.”

Fuhrurfan also contends that Hitler was a key animator on several Mickey Mouse shorts (most notably, “Poland Trouble”) and recommended that Disney organize his theme park into “easily conquered ‘lands’.”

New Dimension for Toys

Tuesday, February 5th, 2008

Toy Story and Toy Story 2 will be rereleased in theaters (in 2009 and 2010 respectively, but not necessarily in that order), but this time there will new depth to the story. Both films will be released in 3D, offering an additional dimension of entertainment to those who own 3D glasses.

The reworking of the computer animated portion of the films for 3D is not particularly difficult, in that it can be accomplished by computer. However, calling Tom Hanks, Tim Allen, and other stars of the film back into the studio to re-record their dialogue in 3D is proving to be very time consuming. (The part of Slinky Dog will be recreated by Jim Carey because Jim Varney, being dead, is not available.)

Windmills Rendered

Friday, January 18th, 2008

Pixar announced that its animated version of the classic novel Don Quixote will be released in 2009. For marketing reasons, the film will be titled Up — apparently 97% of Americans are unable to pronounce “Quixote” correctly, and 17% of those who even try actually end up injuring themselves.

The novel’s story will be followed very closely. As it is summed up in the official press release: “Up follows the adventures of Dog Quixote and his constant companion Sancho Panda as they imagine themselves enjoying the ‘night life’ in their uneventful Spanish village.” Sounds like fun to us!

Song of the South Director’s Cut

Monday, January 14th, 2008

In January, Disney will release, for the first time on DVD, Song of the South ‑ the Director’s Cut. The name of the project is a bit of a misnomer, in that this brand-new re-editing of the controversial animation classic was not created at the behest of its original director, but by Disney’s marketing department.

The new cut includes no scenes that anyone could possibly find offensive. “We don’t want to offend anyone,” said imaginary Disney spokesperson Polly Sensitive. “This is a kinder, gentler film, with no troublesome imagery and a running time that is more in keeping with today’s on-the-go lifestyle.”

The film, now approximately four seconds long and consisting entirely of the Buena Vista distribution logo reveal, will be available at Staples in spindles of 100 for use as blank DVD media.