Archive for September, 2014

Distilled What???

Saturday, September 6th, 2014

Off and on for years we have heard rumors about what happened to Walt Disney after he passed away.  Some say he was frozen and put in a chamber beneath Pirates of the Caribbean, some say he changed his name and is living in a secret rest home with J.F.K. and Elvis, and there are even some people so crazy that they think the truth involves cremation and Forest Lawn in Glendale.

Well, the last time we were at Disneyland, we spotted this in the Indiana Jones queue:

Distilled Walter

We don’t know if this answers any more questions than it raises, but we’re putting it here for your comment.

(By the way, if you want to see more pictures of dubious providance, our new book That’s Not At Disneyland! is available at Amazon or you can find it at Lulu for 30% off.)

What If?

Wednesday, September 3rd, 2014

Randall “If That’s My Real Name” Munroe, author of the xkcd website, recently released a book titled What If?: Serious Scientific Answers to Absurd Hypothetical Questions About Disneyland. In the book, Munroe (who has degrees in both rocket science and artistic minimalism) takes a serious look at what some might consider to be frivolous, science-centered Disney questions.

A few of our favorites include:

  • What would happen in the Mark V Monorail was accelerated to relativistic speeds?
  • What would happen if guests maintained their rotational velocity after exiting the Mad Tea Party?
  • If the Monsanto House of the Future were built today but everything in it was still projecting the same amount of time into the future, what would it contain?
  • If every teenager at Disneyland on a typical grad nite had a straw, how long would it take them to drain all of Disneyland’s water features?
  • If all of the Disney parks went to war with each other, which would win?
  • What if Disney’s Animal Kingdom was, in every possible literal sense, a half-day park?
  • How much additional ink would be used over the course of all history if Disney used capital letters when referring to “it’s a small world”?
  • How many neutrinos has the Matterhorn absorbed during its entire existence?
  • If the perimeter of all Disney parks lengthened by 1% every hour, how long would it be before everyone was living in Disney World?
  • If all of the Autopia cars were merged into one super Autopia car, how fast could it go?
  • Would the economy of Liberia be improved or harmed if all Liberian dollars were replaced with Disney dollars?
  • If all Disney World attractions were removed and nothing but Ellen’s Energy Adventure copies built, how many copies could there be without necessitating changing any of the parks’ footprints?
  • How much additional damage can a human in a Winnie the Pooh costume take compared to a naked person? What about a princess dress? Tinker bell?
  • How hard would a child have to hug Mickey Mouse to compress him enough that the tidal effects of his personal gravity field became significant?
  • How would Mission to Mars have been different if it really went to Mars?
  • How long could an optimally designed and constructed animatronic Abraham Lincoln operate without human interference if elected President?
  • What if there were rifts in the space/time continuum such that each non-Fantasyland/Toontown Disneyland land actually existed in the time period it represented?
  • What would it cost to replace all the world’s birds with Tiki Room birds?
  • How long a strand of DNA would it take to encode the entire Carousel of Progress show (current version)?
  • If all of the energy used to produce Disney fireworks displays around the globe was turned to curing disease instead, how many lives could be saved?
  • How would the world be different if the rate of computer-science innovation was equivalent to the rate of Jungle Cruise joke innovation?
  • What would happen if one person ate the most expensive adult meal on the menu at every Disney World restaurant within 24 hours?
  • What if everyone who had ever visited Disneyland visited tomorrow? Including the dead ones?
  • What current Disney attractions could be built and operated in Disney Antarctica?
  • If everything proceeds just as it has been for the last ten years, at what point will Disneyland tickets be worth more than gold?
  • If one child’s smile is one “awesome unit,” how much more awesome is Disney than Universal?

Latest Disney news

Tuesday, September 2nd, 2014

Too many Disney news stories today to keep track of! Some highlights for those of you who don’t have time for actual news sources:

  • There’s a new Frozen short film coming! In “Frozen Fever,” Anna catches a cold from building a snowman with her sister and, in a state of fevered delirium, leaves Kristoff for Olaf.
  • A few days ago, Disney fan Brent Dodge set a record by visiting every attraction at every park in Walt Disney World every day for 365 days. Said Dodge, “I’m tired.” Several groups are protesting his record, contending that he cheated by not seeing all shows and parades and deliberately not counting attractions that were closed for refurbishment.
  • Disney has officially announced a trademark lawsuit against mouse-themed music creator Deadmau5 over his use of a logo that looks suspiciously like the famous Disney Mickey Mouse silhouette a fraction of a second after a stick of dynamite exploded in Mickey’s mouth. Deadmau5 responded to Disney’s lengthy legal complaint by cutting it into bits and mixing it with a complaint of his own creation so that it was easier to dance to.