Juju Secrets: Juju #3 — Skipper Training

Asking the Adventure Trading Company to sign you up for Skipper Training gets you a small handbook that will help you study to take the official Jungle Cruise Skipper Exam.

Adventureland skipper handbook

Most of the information in the book is stuff you probably already know. For example, the main parts of a ship (crow’s deck, gangwayplank, bilgesprit, poopsail, etc.), the most numerous type of animal in the jungle (animatronic), and the minimum allowable humor score of a Jungle Cruise joke (zero).

When you are done studying, present yourself at the Jungle Cruise exit and take your final exam. The exam has three parts: taking a legally binding oath that includes references to undisclosed small print, paying a substantial “tuition fee,” and telling a Jungle Cruise-style joke.

For most guests, the third part is the most difficult. So that you don’t have to go through the stress of trying to come up with something, we have prepared a list of suitable jokes you can choose from:

  • What’s black and white and red all over? A “sleeping” zebra.
  • Why does a lion wear red suspenders? It ate a firefighter.
  • What has four wheels and flies? That jeep and whoever was trapped under it.
  • How do you stop a hippopotamus from charging? Shoot it.

Bonus joke (for experts only):

  • Why does Africa have a veldt? To keep its vandts up.

Passing the test earns you a Tooth juju. The tooth is similar to that encountered in the last moments of many an adventurer who thought a tiger couldn’t harm them because it was only 10 feet away.

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