Archive for May, 2014

Snow White’s “Naughty” Adventure

Monday, May 26th, 2014

Here’s something to try if you’re visiting Disneyland with someone who thinks they’re too grown up for it to be any fun:

  1. Ask them if they’d like to see something naughty in one of the attractions.
  2. Take them on Snow White’s Scary Adventures.
  3. Show them this:

    Knotty picture from Snow White

  4. Say, “See that rope? Pretty knotty, isn’t it?”
  5. Enjoy their ribald laughter.

Miniature dungeon for sale!

Sunday, May 25th, 2014

During our spare time in the last few months, the staff of DisneyLies has been working hard on a new hobby — creating Disney miniatures! Our first creation, after thousands of work hours, is now complete. It’s a Ken/Barbie-scale version of the dungeon seen in the Disneyland Snow White’s Scary Adventure queue!

The amount of detail we put into this is, we think, unbelievable. Knowing how much guests like to throw money into the scene, we even populated it with hundreds of real electromagnetically shrunken pieces of change!

Snow White's Scary Adventures queue dungeon model

To give you an idea of the level of detail, the spell book is an actual, hand-bound little book that has content on every page, the stone is mold-pressed paper pulp (from our large collection of historic Disneyland guide maps and ticket media), and the skull is lovingly hand-carved from a peanut!

Snow White's Scary Adventures queue dungeon model

Because we really don’t have anywhere in the DisneyLies office to put this thing, we have decided to offer it for sale. It’s on eBay right now if you ‘d like to give it a good home! (Link)

Update: We’ve removed the eBay link, since the model has been sold. In retrospect, the “Buy it now” price of $20 (with free shipping) might have been lowballing. Oh well — just wait until we complete our miniature, fully-functional Matterhorn. Nobody’s getting away with that for less than three figures!

Let’s all go see the goats!

Saturday, May 24th, 2014

With the line to see the Frozen princesses growing so long (so long, in fact, that they have installed restrooms and a restaurant next to it), Disneyland guests are desperate for relaxation after their moving-slow-as-ice ordeal. This has led many guests to head over to the low-energy Big Thunder Ranch after visiting the princesses, and consequently forced Disney to take measures to handle the new crowds in this animal-positive area.

Disneyland goat loading zone sign

The biggest change is in the goat-petting area. The line to pet goats is now pretty significant, often reaching nearly to Fantasyland, and necessitating the installation of guide rails and signage to stop things from getting out of control.

Fortunately, Disney has really stepped up in this instance. They not only have additional staff (“Goat Guides”) to help manage the goat experience, they have also further themed the goats by assigning each animal a name and personality.

For example, here is “Butty” — supposedly the most evil goat in existence.

Most evil goat in the worldAfter seeing the picture, can you doubt it’s true?

Cow stacking!

Friday, May 23rd, 2014

Here’s an interesting Disneyland detail! In the window of one of the Main Street shops — right next to the Carnation restaurant — there is a display of old-fashioned toys. One of these is a traditional Stack of Cows.

Traditional stack of cows in Disneyland shop window

Today, few people remember that a cow-stacking set (a dozen progressively smaller cows sold in a tin container shaped like a milk bottle) was a traditional present for American children around the time Walt Disney was a youth. Back then, these were as common on Christmas morning as Noah’s Arks, rolling hoops, and documents of factory indenture!

Toontown Window Cutouts

Thursday, May 22nd, 2014

We have just returned from our most recent Disneyland research trip (hence the resounding silence of the last few days), and have a few interesting (sic.) things to share with you before we return to our current mania for posting the contents of other people’s mail.

One thing we noticed for the first time at Disneyland was the pattern of window cutouts in the homes in Toontown. Take a look:

Toontown Window Cutouts

  • Minnie’s house shows heart cutouts, because she’s so full of love.
  • Mickey’s house has diamonds, because he’s the shining jewel of Toontown.
  • Goofy’s house has clubs, because his house is a clubhouse.
  • Pluto’s dog house (not pictured here) has spades, but we’re not sure why.

Any theories on why there is a card theme to these cutouts? Or why Donald’s boat has circles instead of more card-related shapes?

We are sure there is some deep meaning here, but are unable to puzzle it out.

Postcard: Sleeping Beauty Castle

Friday, May 9th, 2014



This is the castle in Disney land. It is really beautiful. We all are having a great time here. The weather has been sunny and it’s supposed to get to 84°F tomorrow! I here it’s cold there! Be good + see you soon. Love you, Jayne

P.S. We have only gone to Disney land + Knotts Berry Farm so far

People used to address young men as “master.” It was creepy then; it’s still creepy now. Don’t do it.

And while you’re at it, write “Disneyland” as one word. It’s written in giant letters at the top of the postcard you’re writing on, for goodness sakes.

Postcard: Mark Twain — Rivers of America

Thursday, May 8th, 2014


Dear Tinky —

This park is really great — done with such finesse and perfection it’s unbelievable — weather is warm + sunny — food is very Mexican — buildings are attractive but won’t last long — no scenery here at all — going to L.A. Tuesday, so may get to see some water and mountains. All are well + tired! Love Jan

A few notes:

A) Complains that Disneyland has no scenery and hopes to see water and mountains in Los Angeles.

B) Writes this on a postcard with a photo of water and a mountain at Disneyland.

C) Thinks that Disneyland buildings won’t last, but 37 years after the postcard was written, most of the buildings are still there, but the mountain in the picture is gone.

Postcard: Previewing the future of transportation

Wednesday, May 7th, 2014


Dwight, the fact that we have twice found it necessary to shift the date of our next meeting must have been a little confusing to our members. However, it is now definite that we will meet on November 18. Dr. Giles T. Brown will be our speaker. Brown is presently Head of the Social Science Dept. at Fullerton State College, an authority on various aspects of California history, and I feel that we are very fortunate in obtaining him. Thank you again for your telephone call; your concern was well justified. Every good wish. Pat

P.S. I am mailing notices this morning, Thursday.

Best. Disneyland. Postcard. Ever.

Postcard: The Upjohn Pharmacy

Tuesday, May 6th, 2014


“He” having a nice visit of course had to catch a cold — still laugh — lest I feel bitter — We’ll be here till July 14 — Barney Celebrated his 50th on the 13th.

Everyone fine — Reid looks too thin but enjoys his gardens and animals — Will write more later — love Martha

Not that it’s related to this postcard in any way, but here are three of modern psychology’s top signs of impending marital crisis:

  • Referring to a spouse using only pronouns in scare quotes
  • Barely suppressed feelings of bitterness
  • Pretending like you aren’t particularly surprised or bothered by a spouse’s illness, but writing about it on a postcard picturing a pharmacy.

Postcard: Tomorrowland

Monday, May 5th, 2014


Toured this on Wenes day. The bop had a ball. They did get me on this — train ride Have fun and looking forward to return trip home. Mary

Mary seems to think that she’s going to be taking the Monorail home. At first glance, you might think that she’s charmingly delusional, but it turns out that she actually lives at the Wilderness Lodge (which — jokes on her — has no monorail service).