Archive for March, 2014

10 Questions Frequent Disneyland Visitors Are Tired of Hearing

Saturday, March 22nd, 2014
  1. Are you going to Disneyland?
  2. You’re not going to Disneyland, are you?
  3. You’re going to Disneyland again?
  4. No, really, you’re going again?
  5. Weren’t you just there like yesterday?
  6. Why do you go to Disneyland so much?
  7. You don’t think that’s normal behavior, do you?
  8. Don’t you get tired of it?
  9. How many times have you gone this year?
  10. Anyway, can I go with you?

Postcard: Monsanto’s “Home of the Future”

Friday, March 21st, 2014


Mar. 3, 1960.
How do you like this home?

Was glad to receive your letter but so very sorry to hear about Willma’s fall. I sent her a card this a.m. to let her know we haven’t forgot-ten her.

Bob (our son) and family flew out for a wks. visit a mk. ago so we were busy showing them as much in the short time they were here. Love Lorma.

The elephant in the room in this postcard is, “If people in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones, then what should people who live in plastic houses not throw?” It can’t be wrecking balls. By all accounts, homes of the future are immune to those.

Postcard: “Grand Canyon Concourse” Contemporary Resort

Thursday, March 20th, 2014


Hello — how is your summer? I didn’t really expect to be here — I love it. We spent 2 days at Disney World & now are staying with relatives. You’d love it here. Write if you can.

Love, Suzy +

If you’ve never been to Disney World’s Contemporary Resort, it has a large, outside area inside, an indoor monorail to take you to your room, and (not pictured here) a goat with too many legs. Or so we’ve heard.

Postcard: The land of enchantment

Wednesday, March 19th, 2014


Everyone you’ve ever seen on TV is Here

Auntie __ + Uncle __

Everyone? Jack Benny? Bugs Bunny? Hitler? Really? Everyone?

Postcard: Liberty Square Fife and Drum Corps

Tuesday, March 18th, 2014



Hi – Having a great time — Temp 80° and sun in shining — no Complaints — Obusy on beach — Shellin — swimming — picnics just summer things — Eating too much, but otherwise both of us are fine — The ___s

If a person has a temperature of 80, even when standing in the sun, you’d think they’d be headed to the hospital instead of having “no complaints.” Such is the magic of Disney! (The depressed body temperature does explain the delusions of having a picnic on the shell-covered beach at Disney World, though.)

Frozen reminder

Tuesday, March 18th, 2014

This is a reminder to all those who pre-ordered Frozen on DVD or BluRay from Amazon. As a special promotion, Amazon is packing all day-of-release copies of the film in dry ice. Dry ice is a fun, novel method of packing shipments that can cause serious burns and is often fatal if swallowed. Enjoy!

Postcard: Sleeping Beauty Castle — Fantasyland

Monday, March 17th, 2014


We were here & had a wonderful time!

From the message to the address field, this one practically screams, “I have no idea how postcards work!”

Haunted Mansion Mega-Quiz!

Saturday, March 15th, 2014

Today, as an added entertainment for our advanced readers, we bring you the official DisneyLies Haunted Mansion Mega-Quiz! This is a test of Disneyland Haunted Mansion trivia and knowledge so in-depth, so challenging that we recommend that those of you who are mere casual or occasional Mansion visitors not even attempt it, for fear of losing your very sanity!

Now, on to the quiz.

The instructions are simple: Just choose the lettered answer that best completes the phrase. Good luck!

Haunted Mansion Mega-Quiz

1. Welcome,

A. foolish mortals,
B. ferrous metals,
C. fishy mantles,
D. ninja turtles,

2. to the Haunted Mansion! I am your host, your

A. host ghost.
B. ghost host.
C. most grossed.
D. roast toast.

3. Kindly step all the way in please

A. and make room for everyone.
B. and get set for spooky fun.
C. Say bye to Mr. Sun.
D. Pardon this frightful pun.

4. There’s no

A. milking a cow.
B. starting a row.
C. wondering how
D. turning back now.

5. Our tour begins here in this gallery where you see paintings of some of our guests as they appeared in their

A. corruptible, mortal state.
B. enjoyable, western state.
C. undrivable interstate.
D. prom clothes without a date

6. Your cadaverous pallor betrays an aura of

A. exploding,
B. foreboding,
C. fur coating,
D. misquoting,

7. almost as though you sense a

A. disquieting metamorphosis.
B. disturbing megamouth porpoise.
C. creeping mental psychosis.
D. zombie Disneyland princess.

8. Is this haunted room

A. coyishly fetching?
B. subtly retching?
C. always kvetching?
D. actually stretching?

9. Or is it your

A. imagination?
B. hallucination?
C. prolonged vacation?
D. regurgitation?

10. And consider this

A. decaying old crustacean:
B. delaying conversation:
C. dismaying observation:
D. dance interpretation:

11. This chamber has no windows and

A. no doors
B. odors
C. two floors
D. clogged pores

12. Which offers you this chilling challenge:

A. to leave behind doubt!
B. to find a way out!
C. to leverage your clout!
D. to love a gay trout!

13. Of course, there’s always

A. my way.
B. Coldplay
C. Earth Day.
D. Amway.

Correct answers: 1. D, 2. D, 3. D, 4. A, 5. B, 6. A, 7. D, 8. C, 9. C, 10. D, 11. D, 12. D, 13. B

Postcard: The Country Bear Jamboree

Friday, March 14th, 2014


Dear June

I usually don’t send two cards, but I couldn’t resist sending this one. I know how you love Disneyland. Usitan and Dugs were both here while I was. Will call when I return.


Funny story — on the way home after sending this postcard, Marilyn drove through Yellowstone and was mauled to death by a bear. It’s not technically ironic, but still interesting.

Postcard: Mad Tea Party

Thursday, March 13th, 2014



Having lots of fun. Riding and seeing every-thing. Wish you were here.


Do you know what John Hancock Syndrome is? Tommy — a distant caboose baby with feelings of neglect, inadequacy, and attention deprivation — does.