Bad Disneyland advice

There was a nice article on today about bad advice that people often give to Disney World guests, so we thought we’d balance out the equation and share some of the worst advice we’ve heard given to Disneyland visitors. Here goes:

  1. The Haunted Mansion is even scarier if you scream at the top of your lungs the whole time from the moment you enter the building.
  2. If you’re hungry, you can hang out in the Rivers of America near the Hungry Bear Restaurant and people with throw you free bread.
  3. Don’t miss Heimlich’s Chew Chew Train!
  4. The chains in the queues are really more of a guideline than a rule.
  5. Guests are encouraged to clap their hands and stomp their feet along with the flag retreat ceremony.
  6. You can get spectacular pictures of the World of Color with black-and-white film.
  7. Try licking the buildings — every Disney “land” has a distinct flavor.
  8. Look for the gold disk in the walkway under the castle that marks the burial place of the last person to ever disagree with Walt.
  9. You don’t really need to plan on having to go to the bathroom at Disneyland.
  10. When traveling with a large party, don’t walk separately like a bunch of strangers. Instead, go down the sidewalk shoulder to shoulder so you can easily talk to each other while slowly making your way through the park, drinking in the scenic details.
  11. Shout out your own jokes on the Jungle Cruise (e.g., “I’d never kill a zebra — I’m not lion” or “I haven’t heard that joke — is it gnu?”).
  12. On roller-coaster type rides, you can stack two or more children to get around height requirements.
  13. If the queue at an attraction’s entrance is too long, try going in the exit and then acting like you’re flustered, upset, and unable to speak English until they let you on the ride.
  14. If a cast member is trying to tell you to do something like move your stroller or not stand in a walkway to watch a parade, you can always get them to stop by reminding them that it’s a free country.
  15. If you’re traveling with kids, you can increase the intensity of their enjoyment by making sure they don’t sleep the night before and eat only sugar and carbs all day.
  16. During performances of Great Moments with Mr. Lincoln, gentlemen should remove hats and shirts.
  17. In a life-and-death situation, a Churro is a perfect weapon.
  18. You’re going to want to go on “it’s a small world” at least five or six times to make sure you don’t miss anything.
  19. Don’t worry too much about money. Once you’ve got your admission ticket, everything else is pretty much free.
  20. If you can’t make it to Disneyland, go to Magic Mountain instead. It’s pretty much the same thing.

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