Archive for February, 2014

Postcard: Goofy in Disneyland

Friday, February 28th, 2014


Hi Duley

We are on a Vacation and saw arll the animals went on the train ride and we saw Goofy and the castle mommy said Hi. Sorry Kathy

Later editions of this postcard noted in the small type, “Please do not stand on the castle walls or railings like Goofy does. You might fall and be pecked to death by gorgeous swans.”

Postcard: Guests entering the Magic Kingdom

Thursday, February 27th, 2014


Hi Schelly,

This place is fabulous!

Miss ___

The author is bragging because she knows that Disneyland’s entrance policy at the time banned many “undesirable” groups, such as men with long hair, communists, and people with avant-gardly spelled names like “Schelly.”

Postcard: Sleeping Beauty Castle

Wednesday, February 26th, 2014



Deer Home people,

We arrived yesterday in the land of the Magic Kingdom. As I suspected, they wouldn’t let us film here. After all, they have an image to protect And it is a wonderful image! The place is not unlike the world’s Fair, but much more atmospheric. Saw, but didn’t get to shake hands with Mickey Mouse. Back to Santa Barbara today.

Love, Curtis

As the address shows, this was apparently written by someone who was friendly with some kind of “Klan.” We don’t know what kind of group this is, but their foul nature is hinted at by the fact that Disney would not allow them to be filmed in the park and Mickey Mouse refused to shake hands with the writer.

Postcard: Submarine Ride

Tuesday, February 25th, 2014



Visited here yesterday. You would love it here. So much to do & see.

Mrs. _____

This one is quite the work of art. The author of this one performed a difficult artistic double play — writing about how much there is to see on the back of what is considered the greyest of all Disneyland postcards, and topping it off with an upside-down nautical stamp on a nautical-themed card for the subtle Titanic reference.

Postcard: Sleeping Beauty Castle – Fantasyland (revisited)

Monday, February 24th, 2014

Horse car postcard

Grandpa and I rode in this horse car today. The horses hoofs went “clop-clop-clop.” The bell went “clang-clang”. Each of us had to pay 10 cents.


Isn’t this an adorable card? It sure seems like it until you discover, as our crack team of researchers did, that the grandchild Grandma is writing to a) is 27 years old, and b) had his reading skills severely challenged by this note.

By the way, for those of you who are planning a visit to the park, you should be aware that “horse car” ride prices have actually gone down approximately 100% since this postcard was written. (On the other hand, park admission prices have gone up some 1,200%, which takes a little bit of the joy out of the free horse-car ride.)

Postcard: Sleeping Beauty Castle – Fantasyland

Saturday, February 22nd, 2014

Horse car postcard

July 31

Hi you two

How are you doing? We heard Wes had operation, hope you are doing okay. Harold has a prostate gland operation, he is doing better. sure is hot here now, well take care + write, best of health

Pearl + Harold

1972 was a very different time. It was a time in which people often chose to recuperate from surgery in an amusement park; it was time when people didn’t worry overmuch that the mailman was reading about their prostate. Ah, the memories!

Next time, we have another copy of the same postcard, but with a startlingly different message from an entirely different person. After that — who knows! The suspense is incredible, isn’t it?!?

Edison Square: Everyone’s a Princess

Friday, February 21st, 2014

Saw the most recent show by our friends Edison Square yesterday, and they rolled out a new song that happily Disneyfied the theme song from the decidedly not-Disney film The LEGO Movie. Here are the lyrics so you can sing along at home!

Everyone’s a Princess
(Sung to a tune vaguely reminiscent of “Everything Is Awesome!!!” by Tegan And Sara with The Lonely Island, but not so much so that lawyers have to get involved)

Everyone’s a princess
Gonna be a queen when your stepmother’s gone
Everyone’s a princess, put your tiara on

Everything is better when you’re cute with power
Roam the woods, call a tree, and talk for an hour, take a sunshine shower
Have a ball, you can too, you’re like me, we’re all living like royalty

Everyone’s a princess
Read a hundred books on your gigantic lawn
Everyone’s a princess, put your tiara on

Wave, wave, wave — GO

Like a magic spell, everyone’s a princess
Princes lined up, hoping I’ll meet them
Jerks at school, now they’re all looking up at me
Got a bow and a mom that’s a grizzly.

Be like a princess and eat princess blintzes
People sing when I go out walkin’
See animals, they hear me talkin’
An’ they help me cleanin’. Everyone’s a princess
At a ball, I wear glass shoes
When I go to sleep, the kingdom’s in mourning

Everything is better when you’re living royal
Get some clothes, bat my eye, say goodbye to toil, watch the haters boil
Have a feast, you can too, you’re like me, we’re all living like royalty

Everyone’s a princess
Hit guys with a pan just to show off your brawn
Everyone’s a princess, put your tiara on

Snow White, Rapunziz’
We just named two princesses
Pocahontas, Mulan as well
Who’s half fish and princess? Ariel!

Aurora, Merida, magic transformed Cinderella
Jasmine’s good, Belle’s the best
And like us they’re princesses!

Tiana, Anna, Elsa
Minnie, Daisy, and Tink
Mickey and Goofy and ducks
Everyone that you see every day

(silverware and jewelry solo)

Everyone’s a princess
Everything is rich when your troubles are gone
Everyone’s a princess, put your tiara on

The Postcard Project

Wednesday, February 19th, 2014

We are hard at work on a new DisneyLies book (this one created in conjunction with another website that shall, for now, remain nameless), which makes our always erratic posting schedule even more erratic.

We plan to start something new soon — posting pictures of Disneyland and Disney World postcards that have been sent through the mail, along with annotations or other commentary from our stable of historians, archivists, psychics, and random individuals found along the street who are willing to comment on postcards for money.

If you have one, many, or more postally used Disney-related postcards in a drawer, box, closet, dumpster, pants pocket, ancient vase, wall safe, or half-eaten sandwich that you would like to submit for insightful (sic.) misinterpretation, please e-mail for instructions on how to unload them on us.

Bad Disneyland advice

Friday, February 14th, 2014

There was a nice article on today about bad advice that people often give to Disney World guests, so we thought we’d balance out the equation and share some of the worst advice we’ve heard given to Disneyland visitors. Here goes:

  1. The Haunted Mansion is even scarier if you scream at the top of your lungs the whole time from the moment you enter the building.
  2. If you’re hungry, you can hang out in the Rivers of America near the Hungry Bear Restaurant and people with throw you free bread.
  3. Don’t miss Heimlich’s Chew Chew Train!
  4. The chains in the queues are really more of a guideline than a rule.
  5. Guests are encouraged to clap their hands and stomp their feet along with the flag retreat ceremony.
  6. You can get spectacular pictures of the World of Color with black-and-white film.
  7. Try licking the buildings — every Disney “land” has a distinct flavor.
  8. Look for the gold disk in the walkway under the castle that marks the burial place of the last person to ever disagree with Walt.
  9. You don’t really need to plan on having to go to the bathroom at Disneyland.
  10. When traveling with a large party, don’t walk separately like a bunch of strangers. Instead, go down the sidewalk shoulder to shoulder so you can easily talk to each other while slowly making your way through the park, drinking in the scenic details.
  11. Shout out your own jokes on the Jungle Cruise (e.g., “I’d never kill a zebra — I’m not lion” or “I haven’t heard that joke — is it gnu?”).
  12. On roller-coaster type rides, you can stack two or more children to get around height requirements.
  13. If the queue at an attraction’s entrance is too long, try going in the exit and then acting like you’re flustered, upset, and unable to speak English until they let you on the ride.
  14. If a cast member is trying to tell you to do something like move your stroller or not stand in a walkway to watch a parade, you can always get them to stop by reminding them that it’s a free country.
  15. If you’re traveling with kids, you can increase the intensity of their enjoyment by making sure they don’t sleep the night before and eat only sugar and carbs all day.
  16. During performances of Great Moments with Mr. Lincoln, gentlemen should remove hats and shirts.
  17. In a life-and-death situation, a Churro is a perfect weapon.
  18. You’re going to want to go on “it’s a small world” at least five or six times to make sure you don’t miss anything.
  19. Don’t worry too much about money. Once you’ve got your admission ticket, everything else is pretty much free.
  20. If you can’t make it to Disneyland, go to Magic Mountain instead. It’s pretty much the same thing.

Googling Disney

Monday, February 10th, 2014

Ever wonder what other Disney fans are thinking? We do. To help us find out, we entered the names of various Disney-related characters, people, and places into Google to see what Google’s auto-complete feature suggested, based on the most popular searches. Here’s a sample of what we found: