Hearts hang heavy today after the final, post-penultimate performance of the beloved Billy Hill and his equally beloved the Hillbillies. Big Thunder Ranch was crammed literally to the gills* with guests who wanted to catch the final show. At its conclusion, Billy Hill raised his hands to the gathered crowd, which cheered raucously, applauded uproariously, rioted briefly, burned the whole area to the ground pyromaniacally, and was escorted off the property promptly.
After several people in the calming crowd outside the park pledged that they would hunt down and kill any act that attempted to replace the Billys, the act that was scheduled to replace the Billys became unavailable for comment.
*Disney installed gills at the ranch yesterday in anticipation of overflow crowds.